sick of feeling rubbish!

[herewego]

Hi all,

Just wanted a rant - thought I was doing great after my mc two weeks ago today, except that I've been on my own in the office today and the tears obviously decided they'd been way far too long

Since the mc I've had practically constant cramp, although it changes from almost not the to todays offering (nice, sharp cramping right in the middle of my abdomen). Constantly need the loo, constantly tired. Just, in fact, how I felt when I was pregnant. Superb. Except I can't be pregnant again as OH and I only did it once, 4 days ago.

If one more person says something along the lines of "at least you lost it early so it wasn't a PROPER baby.." I. Will. Hit. Them. Of course it was a proper baby, it was OUR baby and even though I lost it at 5 weeks it will ALWAYS be our baby. I just never got the chance to hold him/her and tell them how much I loved them

I so desperately want to be pregnant again, but I know everything is stuffed up after a mc for a while, and I just want it over so we can start the try again properly, even though I don't think I'll ever forget the one that should have been our first.

 

[GlasgowGal]

Hi there,

I'm so sorry for your loss. You should feel free to rant and cry whenever you need to, there is nothing worse than losing a baby, doesn't matter how far along you are. Some people just don't engage their brain before opening their mouths. Take care of yourself sweetie.

 

[tryforbaby2]

Rant away love.

I am very sorry for your loss.

I hate inconciderate comments about MC. I, also, have said I will punch people in the face if they say something like that again!

 

[herewego]

Thank God for that, was starting to feel that I was being unreasonable!!

 

[tryforbaby2]

Unreasonable??!!!


No!!!


I get so angry when people say things (I was 12 weeks, baby measured 9 weeks) and when people said "there was probably something wrong with it" that pisses me off! (pardon my lango ) I still wouldve loved my baby! I hate when they rub in how fast it was for them to get pregnant....Grrr!
Like I said........rant away...I do...It helps!

 

[herewego]

Oh yes, thats another good one isn't it?! So far I've had.... there must've been something wrong, it wasn't meant to be, at least you know you can get pregnant, at least it was early on.... the last one especially grates as its almost belittling what we've been through - my mum had her first mc at 14 weeks, it was her first child too, and even she came out with the last one (although I can forgive that easily as she had to have an emergency D and C after retaining the placenta and has never forgotten the trauma. Her baby would've been 32 this July 19th).

Doesn't matter how many pregnancies end in mc - when you're going through it your's is the only one that matters at that moment, statistics don't mean anything.

 

[tryforbaby2]

Agreed! Its devastating no matter how far along anyone is. We KNOW we are pregnant and we are excited and planning every detail of our baby's future. I have heard all of the above also.

My sister in law just delivered a healthy baby boy a few months ago and she's the one who said that "it was probably a good thing it happened because there was probably somehting wrong with it".....I was furious beyond belief. Easy for you to say, you just delivered a healthy baby, AND it only took you one time to get pregnant! You'd think she'd sympathize concidering how precious a baby is!!!

Don't worry love, we'll get pregnant very soon!

 

[herewego]

thanks sweetheart Have to say this forum has been a lifeline

 

[Lucy1973]

Sorry to all of your losses girls. The fact is people who have never had a MC, just do not understand how we are feeling, and they feel they have to say things to cheer us up, when actually it's better they just say 'I am sorry' . I have had all kinds of things said to me, from 'well you can just try again', 'at least they were early on', They were both still my babies.

Herewego, I am so sorry someone said to you it wasn't a real baby, of course it was, you became a mother from the moment you conceived. From the minute you see a BFP, you are imagining there will be a baby, and when it doesn't happen, you lose hope that there was going to be a baby, and all the plans you had started to make.

tryforbaby, sorry your sister in law couldn't find the tact and sensitivity to even imagine how you might be feeling.

Herewego you have every right to be angry, we have been cheated out of what is supposed to be the happiest time in a woman's life, and unfortunately even women that have had MC's in the past, can sometimes forget how it feels. Take care of yourself, and BTW, apparently there is no medical reason you can't try again right away, but of course there will be emotional reasons you might want a break.

I am TTC again soon, its scary, but you will have your baby, just keep believing and be determined and ignore all the idiots!