sick of my family

[sao]

Ok so im 17 and pregnant and my parents decided they wanted me and my OH to move in with them as my pregnancy is high risk meaning i had to give up my flat and my job and move 100miles away to london and my mum and dads house ever since ive got here we havent been able to find work and it makes me feel like shit cuz my mum is paying for most of my baby things and my OH family won't help out at all but feel they still can make out my family is dirt. to make things worse everytime they do my OH takes there side and now my dad and sister have started causing arguments about me not being able to pay my way and being useless and its not fair ive tried getting jobs and benefits and i can't im sick of feeling so shit about my pregnancy and bringing my baby in to such a shit situation it was fine till my dad forced me to move home now its all my fault

sorry for having a moan just no1 else seems to see the problem

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Chin up hunni. it sounds a really hard time for you right now. but try and be strong if not for your family then for the lil one growing inside you. why dont you talk to your mum and tell her how your feeling?? mabey you will feel better. and remember if you ever need to talk we are all here for you. and you can private message me anytime you want.
xx

 

[sao]

i just tried to talk to my mum and she just shouted at me and told me to move out i really don't know what to do

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Where did you live before?? and if your family live in london then you can go on the council list and have your rent and that paid for you. im onli 16 and preggers with my first and my mum can get a bit snappy sometimes. but your family seem to be being really harsh. mabey you wud be better off with your own place. and im sure you would be a priority on the council list cos your preg.
xx

 

[Linzi]

Firstly if your pregnancy is high risk you shouldn't be looking for a job, you should be taking it easy. I don't think anyone would judge you for that.

Its really difficult moving back in with parents after you've moved out. We had to move in with my OHs parents for about 3 months and it was so hard for my OH. Without sounding nasty I think people get used to a different routine without you being there, and then when thats disturbed it can cause a bit of friction.

Your parents love you, and if they didn't they wouldn't have offered to move you both in with them, it's a big sacrifice to make.

I would maybe get your name on the council list, maybe in the area close to your parents? That way they're close by to help you out when you need it, but not so close that theres friction between everyone.

Hope it gets better

xxx

 

[lauraperrysan]

Bless you, doesn't sound easy for you and reminds me of when I was pregnant and living at home.....never easy! Speak to the council where you would like to live and see how long will be until they can house you, normally they can def house you before you have the baby (both my friends were). I know that might seem ages away now but at least it's a start and you will know that once the baby is born you should have your own place.
Go to www.entitledto.com to see what benefits you could claim.
I really hope it works out for you hun
Hugs xxx

 

[BeckyBoo]

You're obviously used to looking after yourself and your own needs. But as mentioned, you've got a high risk pregnancy, you SHOULDN'T be working, and you wont be hired because of this.

Your parents love you and that's why they're doing this for you. And maybe your mum snapped at you because it seems like you're throwing their help back at them.

I agree about getting your name on the council list. Perhaps offer your mum to clean the house for some money so you can feel like you're doing something to help. If your OH goes out to work you'll be entitled to Child Tax credit, tax credits and child benefit. That mounts up to a good few hundred pounds a month.

 

[leeanne]

 

[sao]

i've been trying to get a council house since i moved in there just useless keep saying that i don't seem in need enough. and ive tried for benefits but as im 17 and living at home im not entitled to them according to my local job center. Its not that im throwing there help back in there faces i try my hardest to help out just never seems to be enough for my dad everytime theres an argument in the house whether im involved or not he brings me into it. I have sat down and spoken to my mum while she was calm and my sister and they understand that its not fair and have promised to try and help with my dad just feel sorry for my baby and my mum they seem to be stuck in the middle of all this

 

[MoonMuffin]

Parents have a hard time dealing, they're prolly being hard on you because they got used to you not being there and now they had to re-adjust; and the shock of your pregnancy. I came home from college (I'm eighteen) and my parents are being awfull. They think I'm too lazy and am not doing enough so they've made a bunch more chores for me to do and decided that I have to get up at 9am every morning. Normally I wouldn't mind, but I've been so tired (from being preggers) so it's hard to get up, and I prolly wouldn't mind as much if they weren't making me do it. I like sleep, and It'ss ard for me to go to bed early. I don't even get to sleep in on days that I have work. That's your other problem right? Well you shouldn't be doing something too hard if your high risk. Have you considered baby-sittiing/nanny? That's what I've been doing, though of course it's still not enough for my parents, they think I should be busy doing stuff all day every day
sorry for my little rant there, hope it helped somehow...

 

[BurtonBaby]

Honestly hun, parents seem to change their mind a LOT. When I was 18 I moved out on my own since I always seemed to get stuck in the middle of my mom and step dads fights, and me and hubby were supposed to move in together. Well he ended up not moving in then. By the time my lease on my apartment was up, my mom had separated from her husband, and I moved back home. Worst idea EVER. I wasn't even allowed to have my old bedroom back, they had converted mine to an office since its bigger than the other spare rooms. I slept in a guest room, not even on my own bed. I stayed four months, and was gone. Me and DH got a place together, and I never moved back.

Once you move out, parents get used to you being out of the house. Its much different when you come back, especially being pregnant. They might feel like you, your OH, and your baby are now their responsibility, when they were used to none. Try giving them time, and if it gets unbearable do what you guys need to to move. I know how stressed I was, and I cant imagine going through that while I was pregnant. We live very close to my mom and DH's mom now, and it was great while I was pregnant, because I got to spend time with them, then go home. Even now with our daughter, I'm so thankful we have our own home. Good luck sweetie, try to to stress too much, and you shouldn't be working if your pregnancy is high risk. Take care of yourself and LO!