Single mother-to-be

[Jmoore90]

My Mom is worried because she says it's not normal that I want to be a single mother. I see nothing wrong about that. I think I'll have the strength, patience and devotion to deal with this by myself and give my baby all the love he needs to grow happy and to be a good person. I think what matters the most in raising a child is the affection and education he/she receives from the person that nurtures and looks after him/her. My main concern now is those time lapses I could not dedicate to my baby. I need to figure out how to make him feel that I'm always by his side.

 

[Rags]

I'm a single mother by choice of a fantastic 6 year old and although the norm is 2 parents (at least at the start) one parent who really wants to be there is a very good way to go. My Ds knows how loved he is and is happy and confident and knows all about how he was conceived (donor insemination) and why I made that choice. I don't know how the rest of our/his life will go but I can safely say that until now it's been great for both of us.
On this section there is a thread relating to 'single mum by choice' and there is another one running on the 'assisted conception' section there is another one going - have a read in and see how we are all getting on with it.

 

[HendrixMason]

since the moment I found out I knew I was going to be a solo parent.. Here with ya lol

 

[princessellie]

I'm the opposite, I'm 22 weeks pregnant and recently single and hating it. I want nothing more than for us to be a family but slowly realising that's just not an option. I need to take on your mindset lol x

 

[RaspberryK]

It's not something I would have chosen for myself or my children if I didn't have to x

 

[Beanonorder]

I wouldn't have chosen it and I am very sad at the fact that it has happened. I'm lonely a lot and often feel overwhelmed and that I'm messing up my kids because it's all on me all the time.

 

[Rags]

It is very interesting hearing how others feel and cope with being a single parent. I realise that it isn't easy and that it's not the path many would deliberately go down but I will say it's a very different thing choosing to be a single (or solo) parent. I have a very close friend who found herself unexpectedly becoming a single parent a couple of years ago. She began her journey in what she thought was a happy marriage with a husband who was as excited about the prospect of being a parent as she was, the house was bought on the basis of 2 incomes to cover mortgage and bills, holidays were family events and child care arrangements were worked out around both of their work commitments. When her marriage broke down she was not only left dealing with the emotional and financial implications but also everything that goes with maintaining her child's relationship with it's father and his new partner as well as trying to work out a new 'life plan'.
When I chose to be a single parent I geared my life to that. I bought a property that I could afford on one part time income, I placed myself near my support network, I looked at my working life and adjusted it to allow me a good balance. Because I chose this path I was able to plan for it emotionally and financially. I am not having to consider who gets Ds for Christmas or holidays and there are no arguments about maintenance payments or hand overs.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is the ideal way to parent, like any family we have our moments but I just wanted to point out that is it a very different thing to finding yourself as a single parent when you thought you were going to have someone else there.
Good luck to all of you however you found yourself in your situation.

 

[Jmoore90]

It is very interesting hearing how others feel and cope with being a single parent. I realise that it isn't easy and that it's not the path many would deliberately go down but I will say it's a very different thing choosing to be a single (or solo) parent. I have a very close friend who found herself unexpectedly becoming a single parent a couple of years ago. She began her journey in what she thought was a happy marriage with a husband who was as excited about the prospect of being a parent as she was, the house was bought on the basis of 2 incomes to cover mortgage and bills, holidays were family events and child care arrangements were worked out around both of their work commitments. When her marriage broke down she was not only left dealing with the emotional and financial implications but also everything that goes with maintaining her child's relationship with it's father and his new partner as well as trying to work out a new 'life plan'.
When I chose to be a single parent I geared my life to that. I bought a property that I could afford on one part time income, I placed myself near my support network, I looked at my working life and adjusted it to allow me a good balance. Because I chose this path I was able to plan for it emotionally and financially. I am not having to consider who gets Ds for Christmas or holidays and there are no arguments about maintenance payments or hand overs.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is the ideal way to parent, like any family we have our moments but I just wanted to point out that is it a very different thing to finding yourself as a single parent when you thought you were going to have someone else there.
Good luck to all of you however you found yourself in your situation.

Thanks a lot for your kind and inspiring words, Rags. I haven't figured out yet how to deal with this whole new situation, but I do know I'd better raise my child alone...for the moment. That's something I'm not scared of at all. I feel much better now

 

[Jennifurball]

The only thing that worries me is the practicalities of it when baby is on it's way, getting emergency childcare for my LO. Actually bringing them up alone I have no fears or worries, I actually do it better alone, I cannot abide men going against the rules I make or them putting me down if I want to put my feet up for a few hours (this is how my exes made me feel).

So yes, it's a struggle at first, but financially you will get support and its all you and your house rules. The bond me and my 4yo have is unbelievable, we have been a little team since she was 12 weeks old and I am doing it all again on my own!

 

[Jmoore90]

since the moment I found out I knew I was going to be a solo parent.. Here with ya lol

It's good to know I'm not alone. Thanks.