Single mum terrified and feeling guilty about return to work 18 months on...reassuran

[angelbump]

Hi there, I'm a mum of one gorgeous little boy who is 18 months. Me and his dad split up almost a year ago and he sees him every other weekend. Me and my son are incredibly close, we are very intuitive with each other and he can be a bit of a mummies boy (but I love that). I am due to start work next week and I'm absolutely petrified of leaving him 5 days a week! It'll only be from 8-2 mon to fri but this will be a long time for us everyday. I feel guilty for leaving him, am having constant doubts about even starting work, I feel like I'll be doing us a disservice somehow and really need talking into actually following this through. I disslike having to claim benefits but it was a needs must situation. I've recently been diagnosed with pna related to ocd triggered from birth. I'm starting anti depressants and feel like this is all at a bad time in my life and dont want too much pressure to make mine or my sons life more stressful. Any words of advice or what I should do? Feeling so lost about it all.

 

[Kellysheree]

Oh mumma! Don't feel bad for going back to work.. 18 months was a nice maternity leave. And 8-2 are great hours.. Your LO will get used to it in time.

But as for your mental health how are you doing now? If you think going back will push you over the edge at this stage maybe rethink your options. Can you hold off for another 6 months, will your employer allow that?

 

[angelbump]

I'm still a bit up and down, I guess the only way to find out is by taking the plunge and doing it. I'll give it a month and if all works out then great, if it's too much then at least I tried. Thanks for your reply. I just feel bad, its bad enough he doesnt see his dad much but now cutting iut time from mummy cant help feeling guilty xx

 

[UBC Mom]

I felt the same way with all my babies and experienced my first panic attack when I had to go to work and my baby was 3 months old. I can't say it gets better, it's been the worst experience of my life, leaving kids when you don't feel ready. Unfortunately somehow life goes on.

 

[Tropiclands]

Well I'm sure you will figure out if you can do it or not after returning to work. You won't know if you do try, right?