Single soon to be mom.

[XoXKittyXoX]

Its hard to find Someone to talk to who wont judge me. And its even harder becuse the ones I do know as single moms dont know what its like to really be in it 100% alone.. They live/lived in the same house as thier parents, had a free babysitter, was easier to finish school, had finacial help from the babys daddys and thier familys were always close by ... Im not saying they had it easy.. Im just saying, Im gonna be figuring out everything alone, paying for day care, ect things they didnt have too.. I didnt even have a babyshower... I saved and bought everything I needed slowly.. They say its so easy but thier situation isnt the same either. I know Im going to do good, Im just fed up of being told that its going to be soo easy. It wont be Easy at all... But what It will be is Worth It. The babys father denyed him and then got verbally, mentally and physically abusive.. Was hauld out by the cops and has had no contact for 7 months (Not that I want any contact).. Im now almost 9 Month preggo and he decided to call my fathers house on christmas day... I was visiting My dad at the time who lives quite a ways from my place. All he wanted was to degrade me and then complain he wanted my cat... He never once mentioned the baby and we werent Together in a relationship, we were just "casually dating"... I never slept with anyone else but all the same, Was accused of it. I Love my Soon to be born son already and havent even me him yet.. I know I'll be a good mommy.. I just feel alone in my small community who doesnt accept single mothers all that well. Dating or finding a relationship at this point is out of the question becuse all they want is someone to have sex with without the chance of having someone be preggo.. everyone knows, cant get someone preggo if she already is. I also feel fort of cheated a bit with the fact that most others I see around here have someone to share every special moment with and someone to rub thier feet and pamper them and love them. Its not the same when your trying to reach your swollen feet over a almost 9 month bump to rub them yourself. I just wanna know that Im not the only one who feels this way...

 

[BadassMom]

Your not alone at all, but I understand how lonely that feels. Theres a whole forum for single parents on this website that has been such a comfort to me. I didn't start posting before yesterday but I've been reading all the posts for awhile and it's helped me stay strong.
The father of my baby has been in and out through my pregnancy. He's never contributed anything (especially financially to our baby). When he has been here he was living in my house ("trying" to find a job) while I went to work everyday and paid for everything). I don't want to go into everything here but I just wanted to let you know your not alone and you can PM me anytime. I'd actually love to have someone to relate to about this as I have no one either.

 

[jambermush]

I'm 19 weeks pregnant and also on my own, although I do have a lot of support from my family, admittedly.

I totally understand where you are coming from about not having someone to rub your feet and basically give you a hug when you're feeling rotten.
It's hard reading posts about things like "going to get my OH to shave my legs and "bits" before labour" and I just start panicking about how I'm going to do it all myself.
I'm only 19 weeks and it's already getting difficult to cut my toe nails, so heaven knows how I'm going to do all these things when I'm 9 months!

I can't offer you any advice or any support in saying how things will work out, but what I CAN say is good for you. You have had so much to contend with, yet the love for your unborn child shines through, and is a real credit to the fantastic Mother that you are going to be.

 

[MumToBe2012]

I'm nearly 21 weeks pregnant and know exactly how you feel. Sometimes I feel really lonely and I never thought I would ever be a single parent. But things happen for a reason. I do have the support of my family, though that doesn't make me feel completely better.

You're 9 months pregnant now, all you can do is think of what an amazing mum you'll be and about your LO. Being a single mum has its' benefits too you know.

Pm me if you want to talk.

 

[teal]

You're not the only one. I have absolutely no contact with my ex. He broke up with me when I was 4 weeks pregnant when I refused to have a termination. I've only spoken to him once since then and he was so abusive towards me. I never planned on being a single mum and to honest there are still times now when I feel embarrassed explaining my situation even though he's the one who should be ashamed he walked out of his son's life.

I don't claim any child support but that was a personal choice and I know lots of lovely ladies who do claim child support from their waste of space exes/FOB's.

I know how lonely it can be when people just don't understand xx

 

[dustbunny]

I have the advantage that I live at home but I too have bought everything myself. I went out and got 3 jobs whilst pregnant to help support me and LO whilst FOB just did sweet fa, doing free 'jobs' which end in nothing.
I broke up with him but he left his LO, I tried to include him in everything... every detail... and all he wanted to do was try and mentally bully me into getting back together with him. Thinking back I should have known what a loser he was, I even asked him if we could move in together but he said he would rather move in with his friends. He leant his friends money over contributing towards LO. He upgrading all his photography equipment which is thousands. He then had the nerve to send me a shitty letter to which I phoned to include him in everything and since then I have heard nothing. He called me materialistic etc because I didn't thank him for 4 twigs he sent me. My own mother had to tell him what to do to try and make it all better again between us but he ignored her. After I broke up with him he didn't sound upset, didn't even contact me first. Also just found out he has been spreading horrible rumours about me being a cold hearted bitch.
And to think I thought breaking up with him would make him see sense and we would end up back together or something... but no... very naive way of thinking on my part.

But I would rather do this on my own than go through this with a sad, pathetic boy for a partner. So whilst other women are getting their feet rubbed we... single mothers... are actually realising how much everything means, we don't take things for granted. We are stronger because we do a 2 person job, we have gained new skills and new understandings beyond our years [whatever our age].

Life is too short to include people who bring us down. Stay strong, you will make an amazing mummy, your LO will love you for all the sacrifices you have had to go/go through even more.