Sleep Through Night without CIO?

[fluffet521]

My son is 9 months old and isn't sleeping through the night. He's waking up to nurse 2-3 times per night. I know he isn't hungry, because he's slept through the night before, and only started waking up in the night during a regression, but never went back to sleeping through. Any advice on how to achieve this without making him cry it out?

I'm also looking for book recommendations on this topic.

Thanks in advance!

 

[RaspberryK]

Time. That's it. Xx

 

[Destiny08]

Sadly, I agree with Raspberry. Time. My DD didn't sleep through the night until she was 3. And even now, at 4.5, she still wakes up once about 3 nights a week.

I think they just want comfort. And they go through periods, especially when they learn new big things (crawling, walking etc) where they just can't switch their brains off as easily, so they wake up lots.

Good luck

 

[Larkspur]

Yep. Time. That's really it. No book I read gave a decent, lasting, gentle solution, and pretty much every other option involves crying.

I've waited-it-out with two kids (first didn't start STTN regularly until 16 months, second not until 22 months). It sucked at the time, but once it's done, you kind of forget about it, but you also feel really good that you toughed it out and let your kids achieve that sleep milestone in their own time.

Now, they are both champion sleepers. And no bedtime battles. They feel safe in their beds and resettle themselves even with colds. They are confident sleepers. I don't know if it's related, but I have noticed that my friends who sleep-trained, even quite gently, are pretty much all now suffering massive bedtime battles. Their kids are sleep-resistant.

With both of mine, they had particularly nasty regressions at 8-10 months, 13-15 months and around 20 months. After that they started sleeping through with no issues. I know some kids do take longer, but I've seen a lot of kids with similar timelines to mine.

 

[hanni]

Time. My son slept through the night for the first time ever last night! He's 13.5 months old.

 

[loeylo]

I agree, just time. My wee one sleeps through and has done so from a few weeks old, but it isn't due to anything we have specifically done. She's just a lazybones like her daddy!

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Read [URL="https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/5-myths-about-babies-sleeping-through-the-night/]this[/URL]. Like PP's have said time. But also, lowered expectations.

 

[alikat2014]

I've read sttn to Dr's mean 5-6 hours so if baby sleeps 12 hours at night he'd have to eat at least once right? That was my thinking, I am coming out of the regression but before he woke 2-3 times a night and I was like, score! Hahaha, but mines always been a super hungry guy, born 6 pounds and at 8 months 21 pounds!

 

[Bevziibubble]

It's just time. My daughter has never slept through the night since she was 4 months old. She's now 4 years old and still wakes at least twice a night. I have lowered my expectations with my second baby and I'm not expecting him to sleep through for years yet!

 

[hanni]

You get to get them back by hoovering the floor at 7am at the weekend once they're 16 😜

 

[DaisyDreamer]

You get to get them back by hoovering the floor at 7am at the weekend once they're 16 😜

 

[Anjali]

I will agree with time. I would have slapped myself silly for saying so 6-8 months ago when it was at its worst. I know how hard it is, and how much of a struggle it can be.

There's no magic time frame that babies will or should start sleeping through the night. My daughter is 16mo and still wakes up multiple times.

I will recommend, however, the RIE approach to handling it. We do not believe in cry it out and never did it. RIE offers a respectful way to handle sleep and other issues with your baby. Once my daughter reached a certain age that we believed she could understand more of what was going on and once we felt like we have established a trust with her that we will always be there for her needs (around 9mo or so), we talked to her the day before about not picking her up for her first waking and when she awoke we would talk her through it. I could see her understand what we were saying and though she cried out of frustration, it never escalated to a point to where I felt she was truly uncomfortable or questioned our care or dedication. This helped her learn that we will still be there but that she does need to try to go back to sleep on her own. We never left her alone or left her distressed, but some things in life require a level of discomfort or change that your baby will have to go through and all you can do in those situations is comfort your child and offer support. You can't shield them from the discomfort of some things, but you can definitely be kind, present, and loving. We are in a much better place with sleep and I've learned a lot through RIE.

It will get better. I know that's not comforting right now but your kiddo will sleep eventually.

Hope that helps!

 

[Bevziibubble]

Yes, I agree that it's just time. It's a milestone that they will meet in their own time.

 

[redneckhippy]

Here are a few things that helped my son when he went thru some times of waking up.

1) make sure he is in a good diaper that will keep him comfortable. Around 8-9 months my son suddenly started waking up and we realized that the Luvs that he's always had weren't absorbent enough anymore. We switched to Pampers nighttime and he went back to sleeping.

2) if he sleeps in his own crib, be sure his PJs are comfortable for the weather (not too hot or too cold). After we moved to a house with AC we also needed to switch him to fleece footie PJs so he was comfortable trough the night.

3) be sure he eats well and isn't in a growth spurt. My son was breastfed but our routine was always a pumped bottle given by dad before bed and I noticed on days he didn't get this he was more prone to wake. Also if you recently introduced solids remember that veggies and fruits are way less filling that BM. Imagine you're used to having a full steak dinner ever evening and now someone switches that out for some boiled zucchini. Be sure he's still getting plenty of BM or fomula.

4) you didn't mention if you bedshare or not, but if he's in his own crib, ask your husband to be the one to get up with him for a few days. That way he is still getting love and reassurance, but isn't being rewarded for waking up with mommy and nursing. If he's really hungry then of course let him nurse but if he knows he's not, let daddy tend to him.

Hope this helps!

 

[SarahBear]

I was generally in the "wait it out" camp with Violet. However, I did end up night weaning when she was almost two because I was pregnant with sore nipples, and she had a lazy latch. I'd still nurse her to sleep, but then I was consistent about not giving in until morning. She screamed and I held her and eventually she stopped waking up for it. After getting through that process, she slept straight through without issue... Until she started waking too early for nursing and then nightmares happened... It's been a process. Leo still wakes for nursing and I also change his diaper when he wakes up. I'm not sure when I'll night wean. If I do night wean, I think I'll wait until he's old enough to talk to about it (between 2 and 3).

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Night weaning has helped. LO was STTN then went through a regression and stayed waking 2-3 times. We bedshare. But making more of an attempt to hold him rather than nurse him every time he wakes and knowing when he needs to eat (about 3 AM) has helped a lot. But man do I wish when he'd sleep a solid 10 hours without needing a diaper or feeding!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I waited it out. Rocking, co sleeping, cuddling. Whatever was needed. Never done pick up put down or CIO
Never tried anything than instant soothing lol. I say she turnt a corner at just past 3 and now usually goes 11hrs unaided on her own xx

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Not sure if it's CIO but my LO cries. I can't nurse to sleep anymore. But I am with him until he eventually falls asleep. Then I leave the room. I never thought I would do CIO and I always said I was against it. It has not been an easy transition from bedsharing/night nursing to going to sleep without nursing for naps and bedtime. Things have gotten significantly better over the last few days. But he does cry, I am there for him I don't just leave him alone helpless. He understands how to sleep without a nipple, it's happened, but is in the preferential habit of nursing all the time to sleep.