Finally getting around to writing my birth story! Our little boy is asleep right next to me now, was due a feed 15 mins ago so I wonder if I will get to the end of this before he starts screaming 
My EDD was 19th August, but I remember when I found out I was pregnant I actually worked out 22nd August. I was on clomid and charting, so I know exactly when we conceived. Of course at our early scan I was more than happy to accept an earlier due date because it meant I got to the 12 week mark quicker
But towards the end I knew he wouldn't be on time and I did say to DH that I thought he would be born on the Thursday, which he was
This was probably helped along by the sweep I had on the Wednesday though, haha We had the sweep done at 2pm and the midwife told me I was 2cm dilated and she could feel the membranes and baby's head 
I was so excited. Immediately after there was some blood, and my back ached for the rest of the evening. All had calmed down by bedtime though, so we went to bed as normal.
DH works at home and can have a sneaky lie in some mornings, and thank goodness he did that Thursday. We were cuddling in bed and I was feeling fine, then I got period pain at 9am. I said "ooh, I wonder if that was anything!" so we stayed in bed cuddling and sure enough, 20 minutes later the pain came back. Then again at 9:40 and again and 10am.
Then suddenly from 10am, the contractions started coming every 3-5 minutes. I was a bit confused, I thought surely I can't be counting right or something, so DH took over the timing and sure enough I was getting them that frequently, so we called the delivery suite at the local hospital. I was booked in for a home birth, but we still had to call them so they could contact the community midwives. I was told it was still very early days, to take paracetamol and try a warm bath. DH started to prep the lounge as we needed to rearrange the furniture to make room for the birthing pool. So I stayed out of the way for a bit then decided to try a warm bath. This didn't help at all! I found sitting and lying in the bath quite uncomfortable, and I just got cold because the bath isn't deep enough to cover bump and boobs! I got out, tried paracetamol and that didn't help either
My memory of the exact order of things is pretty hazy, but around 11 - 11:30am the contractions got even closer together - more like 1 minute apart. I thought surely this isn't right. Thankfully the midwives turned up at this point and we went upstairs so they could examine me on the bed. I was 4cms at this point, so they said they'd come back in a couple of hours as I had a while to go yet and was doing fine.
I'd done hypnobirthing in preparation, but unfortunately I found having contractions every single minute was just too much for me to really get myself into a relaxed state. I do remember building myself a little nest of cushions in the corner of the sofa and just burying my face in the cushions for ages - I had my relaxation tracks playing in the background and I was able to 'zone out' a little bit but not as much as I'd have liked.
I then decided to try a TENS machine, which was ok to start with but after a couple of hours I just wanted to rip it off! The midwives came back at about 1:30pm and found I was 6cms. Great progress! I remember being SO relieved it meant I could get in the pool.
The pool did slow my labour for a little bit, but I was glad of the rest. We had kept the lights low in the lounge, with candles burning so again, I was able to zone out for a short time. I'd only had 1 slice of toast and a chocolate cookie all day - I really couldn't face food (and am currently making my way through my labour snacks haha!) but I was getting tired. As things progressed, the contractions did not feel at ALL how I was expecting them to. I honestly felt like my entire body was going to split in 2 every time I had one, and I kind of lurched over the edge of the pool and couldn't help but groan through each one! I felt like I was going to vomit and poo massively both at the same time! Thankfully I did neither, but it really did feel like the baby was going to burst through my back passage any minute
I tried gas and air but it made me feel sick so I didn't really use it. I did try to get myself high between contractions but I never had quite enough time and all it seemed to do was give me pins and needles in my arms. Useless!
Time passed in a bit of a haze for me, but I think around 6pm I said to the midwife was there any way she could estimate how much longer it was going to be without me getting out of the pool!! A totally stupid question I know, but by this point I was thinking, "this could go on for another 10 hours or so" and that thought made me feel awful
Just because I wasn't getting a break - contractions every minute all day long it a lot of work. And any time the MWs wanted to listen to the baby's heart rate, that set off a contraction too. But thankfully every time they checked, he was fine. His heart rate didn't even change when I had a contraction.
I'd been kneeling at the edge of the pool for hours (which was really comfortable, btw) and the MWs convinced me to take a more sitting position so they could see what was going on. Some time later (DH says an hour, I have no idea) they could see the head! I was stunned! I really thought I'd be going for HOURS more so I was over the moon.
Bizarrely, I found it really hard to push. I had been told that you would feel the change between the lower uterus muscles working to stretch and thin the cervix, and the upper uterus muscles pushing down to help get the baby out. But I didn't feel this at all. My pain was always in the lower bump and nowehere else. So when I was directed to push, I couldn't quite manage it. Then I got scared about pushing the head out, so for a while the head was just slipping back and forth, back and forth. But I just needed that time to gather my thoughts and build up the courage to push his head out. It was hard work, because I couldn't feel my uterus helping me so I couldn't really feel that I was doing anything much.
The MWs said he had a totally bald head - until they realised my membranes were still in tact! I pushed for a bit and we hoped they would break, but they didn't, so the MW did it and we carried on. Eventually the head came out - his chin was stuck slightly so he couldn't turn, so one of the MWs had to hook her finger in and help him out. It took longer than I expected to get the rest of the body out, but when he came out and was lifted out of the water and placed in my arms...oh, what a beautiful moment I can remember the feel of him SO clearly it's like it was an hour ago. I looked at his face and I felt like I knew him already His eyes were open and he just gazed around in that lovely cute way babies do We lay there for a few minutes just cuddling, but one of the MWs was worried he hadn't made any noise, so she made me lift him out of the water so that the cold air on his wet skin would make him cry. I felt so bad doing it, but I did it quickly and brought him back into the water as soon as he'd cried.
DH got some skin to skin time whilst I was helped out of the pool. Then I lay on the sofa propped up on the cushions and I got baby back for more cuddles and breastfeeding. The placenta still hadn't come out, so I agreed to the injection and I had to give baby back to DH whilst I lay there on the sofa with my legs open and the MW yanking on the cord! The other MW weighed the baby and he was a healthy 9lb 9oz, then finally the placenta came out (after a lot of tugging!) and it was also huge! It didn't fit into their placenta bowl haha They said he was such a big baby, and it was the biggest placenta they'd seen for ages so I was quite proud 
Unfortunately from here, things started to go a little wrong. Obviousyl there was blood because I'd just given birth, but there was just a little too much. The MWs could see there was a tear, but they weren't happy to stitch it up at home due to poor light and not being sure of the full extent. I didn't mind, and didn't think it was a big deal really - of course you would prefer to go to hospital and be stitched properly rather than risk a botch job at home! So they had to call an ambulance, but it wasn't an emergency situation at that stage so I wasn't worried at all.
I don't remember too much to be honest, but basically I started to get more pain and the bleeding wasn't stopping. By the time the ambulance arrived I was in agony and getting into the ambulance was horrible. They gave me gas and air so even though I knew I didn't like it I was sucking on it like it was going out of fashion. Every bump in the road was agony, so lucky for me we are only a 5 min drive from the hospital.
I vaguely remember hauling myself from the stretcher onto a bed and lying on my left and just wishing everyone would leave me alone so I could sleep. There were loads of people in the room trying to hook me up to fluids and whatever, but because of the blood loss my veins had all collapsed and they had a really hard time sorting me out. I remember an oxygen mask being slipped onto my face, and DH coming over to hold my hand. I now know that someone really botched putting in a canula so I had blood gushing out of that hand, pooling on the floor. Nice! Then the doctor wanted to do an internal examination, which I DO remember because it was so goddam painful. She was rubbing my tummy with one hand and (unknown to me) yanking out massive clots with the other. Basically what had happened was I had a 3rd degree tear (4th is the worst!) and I had a haematoma inside, which I think is basically a blood clot and it was on my vaginal wall and they had to get rid of it. So when the doc was examining me she was pulling bits of it out. I couldn't see this but apparently there was loads of blood coming out and going all over the floor. No wonder it hurt!
At last it was time to get me into surgery. There was a rather blunt anaesthetist there who had no patience with me! I had to get myself from one bed to another, then sit on the edge of the bed with my feet on a stool and back curved so they could give me a spinal. So imagine having just had an almost-10lb baby, plus the tear plus the haematoma - sitting on your bottom is the LAST thing you want to do! But he kept hurrying me and basically telling me off for being too slow and how I had to help myself and get on my bum. It HURT, and I was so spaced out because of the blood loss, what did he expect?!
So anyway, they did what they had to do in surgery. The drugs were bliss haha It felt like my legs were floating in lovely warm water Again, I don't remember this but apparently my blood pressure dropped dramatically in the middle of it all and there was a bit of a flap, but it was sorted out. It took an hour and a half all together, and all I could think was (when I was conscious) I was missing out on bonding time with my baby I was so, so sad. When I finally got back to the room with baby and DH I just burst into tears 
The next few hours are a mystery to me, but I was in the same room from midnight Thurs to midnight Fri. I had a blood transfusion of 3 units, that took about 6 hours. I could barely move and had needles and things in both arms. But I was still able to breastfeed The MWs there just picked him up and lay him across me and he fed. I don't think I was producing much milk but just being close to him like that was fantastic. The entire time I was looked after so brilliantly and baby was next to me in his little see-through crib the entire time so I was just looking at him constantly.
After all the treatment on the delivery suite was done and I was improving, I was taken up to the post natal ward. The first night was mad because of the noise the other babies were making! But our little boy was just so chilled And still is - he doesn't really cry all that much and when he does he is easily soothed. The next morning though, everyone else was discharged and I was on the ward all by myself! It was nice in some ways because I got so much care and attention, again the staff were just brilliant. They even took him for a few hours for me so I could get some sleep because I was so paranoid I was just looking at him all the time in case he stopped breathing!
Finally we were allowed home on the Monday afternoon, and things have just been getting better ever since. I've been back into hospital a few more times for checks etc, but we're getting there. I'm just so happy to be home, and so proud of our little boy
My EDD was 19th August, but I remember when I found out I was pregnant I actually worked out 22nd August. I was on clomid and charting, so I know exactly when we conceived. Of course at our early scan I was more than happy to accept an earlier due date because it meant I got to the 12 week mark quicker
But towards the end I knew he wouldn't be on time and I did say to DH that I thought he would be born on the Thursday, which he was This was probably helped along by the sweep I had on the Wednesday though, haha
We had the sweep done at 2pm and the midwife told me I was 2cm dilated and she could feel the membranes and baby's head I was so excited. Immediately after there was some blood, and my back ached for the rest of the evening. All had calmed down by bedtime though, so we went to bed as normal.DH works at home and can have a sneaky lie in some mornings, and thank goodness he did that Thursday. We were cuddling in bed and I was feeling fine, then I got period pain at 9am. I said "ooh, I wonder if that was anything!" so we stayed in bed cuddling and sure enough, 20 minutes later the pain came back. Then again at 9:40 and again and 10am.
Then suddenly from 10am, the contractions started coming every 3-5 minutes. I was a bit confused, I thought surely I can't be counting right or something, so DH took over the timing and sure enough I was getting them that frequently, so we called the delivery suite at the local hospital. I was booked in for a home birth, but we still had to call them so they could contact the community midwives. I was told it was still very early days, to take paracetamol and try a warm bath. DH started to prep the lounge as we needed to rearrange the furniture to make room for the birthing pool. So I stayed out of the way for a bit then decided to try a warm bath. This didn't help at all! I found sitting and lying in the bath quite uncomfortable, and I just got cold because the bath isn't deep enough to cover bump and boobs! I got out, tried paracetamol and that didn't help either
My memory of the exact order of things is pretty hazy, but around 11 - 11:30am the contractions got even closer together - more like 1 minute apart. I thought surely this isn't right. Thankfully the midwives turned up at this point and we went upstairs so they could examine me on the bed. I was 4cms at this point, so they said they'd come back in a couple of hours as I had a while to go yet and was doing fine.
I'd done hypnobirthing in preparation, but unfortunately I found having contractions every single minute was just too much for me to really get myself into a relaxed state. I do remember building myself a little nest of cushions in the corner of the sofa and just burying my face in the cushions for ages - I had my relaxation tracks playing in the background and I was able to 'zone out' a little bit but not as much as I'd have liked.
I then decided to try a TENS machine, which was ok to start with but after a couple of hours I just wanted to rip it off! The midwives came back at about 1:30pm and found I was 6cms. Great progress! I remember being SO relieved it meant I could get in the pool.
The pool did slow my labour for a little bit, but I was glad of the rest. We had kept the lights low in the lounge, with candles burning so again, I was able to zone out for a short time. I'd only had 1 slice of toast and a chocolate cookie all day - I really couldn't face food (and am currently making my way through my labour snacks haha!) but I was getting tired. As things progressed, the contractions did not feel at ALL how I was expecting them to. I honestly felt like my entire body was going to split in 2 every time I had one, and I kind of lurched over the edge of the pool and couldn't help but groan through each one! I felt like I was going to vomit and poo massively both at the same time! Thankfully I did neither, but it really did feel like the baby was going to burst through my back passage any minute
I tried gas and air but it made me feel sick so I didn't really use it. I did try to get myself high between contractions but I never had quite enough time and all it seemed to do was give me pins and needles in my arms. Useless!Time passed in a bit of a haze for me, but I think around 6pm I said to the midwife was there any way she could estimate how much longer it was going to be without me getting out of the pool!! A totally stupid question I know, but by this point I was thinking, "this could go on for another 10 hours or so" and that thought made me feel awful
Just because I wasn't getting a break - contractions every minute all day long it a lot of work. And any time the MWs wanted to listen to the baby's heart rate, that set off a contraction too. But thankfully every time they checked, he was fine. His heart rate didn't even change when I had a contraction.I'd been kneeling at the edge of the pool for hours (which was really comfortable, btw) and the MWs convinced me to take a more sitting position so they could see what was going on. Some time later (DH says an hour, I have no idea) they could see the head! I was stunned! I really thought I'd be going for HOURS more so I was over the moon.
Bizarrely, I found it really hard to push. I had been told that you would feel the change between the lower uterus muscles working to stretch and thin the cervix, and the upper uterus muscles pushing down to help get the baby out. But I didn't feel this at all. My pain was always in the lower bump and nowehere else. So when I was directed to push, I couldn't quite manage it. Then I got scared about pushing the head out, so for a while the head was just slipping back and forth, back and forth. But I just needed that time to gather my thoughts and build up the courage to push his head out. It was hard work, because I couldn't feel my uterus helping me so I couldn't really feel that I was doing anything much.
The MWs said he had a totally bald head - until they realised my membranes were still in tact! I pushed for a bit and we hoped they would break, but they didn't, so the MW did it and we carried on. Eventually the head came out - his chin was stuck slightly so he couldn't turn, so one of the MWs had to hook her finger in and help him out. It took longer than I expected to get the rest of the body out, but when he came out and was lifted out of the water and placed in my arms...oh, what a beautiful moment
I can remember the feel of him SO clearly it's like it was an hour ago. I looked at his face and I felt like I knew him already His eyes were open and he just gazed around in that lovely cute way babies do We lay there for a few minutes just cuddling, but one of the MWs was worried he hadn't made any noise, so she made me lift him out of the water so that the cold air on his wet skin would make him cry. I felt so bad doing it, but I did it quickly and brought him back into the water as soon as he'd cried. DH got some skin to skin time whilst I was helped out of the pool. Then I lay on the sofa propped up on the cushions and I got baby back for more cuddles and breastfeeding. The placenta still hadn't come out, so I agreed to the injection and I had to give baby back to DH whilst I lay there on the sofa with my legs open and the MW yanking on the cord! The other MW weighed the baby and he was a healthy 9lb 9oz, then finally the placenta came out (after a lot of tugging!) and it was also huge! It didn't fit into their placenta bowl haha
They said he was such a big baby, and it was the biggest placenta they'd seen for ages so I was quite proud Unfortunately from here, things started to go a little wrong. Obviousyl there was blood because I'd just given birth, but there was just a little too much. The MWs could see there was a tear, but they weren't happy to stitch it up at home due to poor light and not being sure of the full extent. I didn't mind, and didn't think it was a big deal really - of course you would prefer to go to hospital and be stitched properly rather than risk a botch job at home! So they had to call an ambulance, but it wasn't an emergency situation at that stage so I wasn't worried at all.
I don't remember too much to be honest, but basically I started to get more pain and the bleeding wasn't stopping. By the time the ambulance arrived I was in agony and getting into the ambulance was horrible. They gave me gas and air so even though I knew I didn't like it I was sucking on it like it was going out of fashion. Every bump in the road was agony, so lucky for me we are only a 5 min drive from the hospital.
I vaguely remember hauling myself from the stretcher onto a bed and lying on my left and just wishing everyone would leave me alone so I could sleep. There were loads of people in the room trying to hook me up to fluids and whatever, but because of the blood loss my veins had all collapsed and they had a really hard time sorting me out. I remember an oxygen mask being slipped onto my face, and DH coming over to hold my hand. I now know that someone really botched putting in a canula so I had blood gushing out of that hand, pooling on the floor. Nice! Then the doctor wanted to do an internal examination, which I DO remember because it was so goddam painful. She was rubbing my tummy with one hand and (unknown to me) yanking out massive clots with the other. Basically what had happened was I had a 3rd degree tear (4th is the worst!) and I had a haematoma inside, which I think is basically a blood clot and it was on my vaginal wall and they had to get rid of it. So when the doc was examining me she was pulling bits of it out. I couldn't see this but apparently there was loads of blood coming out and going all over the floor. No wonder it hurt!
At last it was time to get me into surgery. There was a rather blunt anaesthetist there who had no patience with me! I had to get myself from one bed to another, then sit on the edge of the bed with my feet on a stool and back curved so they could give me a spinal. So imagine having just had an almost-10lb baby, plus the tear plus the haematoma - sitting on your bottom is the LAST thing you want to do! But he kept hurrying me and basically telling me off for being too slow and how I had to help myself and get on my bum. It HURT, and I was so spaced out because of the blood loss, what did he expect?!
So anyway, they did what they had to do in surgery. The drugs were bliss haha
It felt like my legs were floating in lovely warm water Again, I don't remember this but apparently my blood pressure dropped dramatically in the middle of it all and there was a bit of a flap, but it was sorted out. It took an hour and a half all together, and all I could think was (when I was conscious) I was missing out on bonding time with my baby I was so, so sad. When I finally got back to the room with baby and DH I just burst into tears The next few hours are a mystery to me, but I was in the same room from midnight Thurs to midnight Fri. I had a blood transfusion of 3 units, that took about 6 hours. I could barely move and had needles and things in both arms. But I was still able to breastfeed
The MWs there just picked him up and lay him across me and he fed. I don't think I was producing much milk but just being close to him like that was fantastic. The entire time I was looked after so brilliantly and baby was next to me in his little see-through crib the entire time so I was just looking at him constantly.After all the treatment on the delivery suite was done and I was improving, I was taken up to the post natal ward. The first night was mad because of the noise the other babies were making! But our little boy was just so chilled
And still is - he doesn't really cry all that much and when he does he is easily soothed. The next morning though, everyone else was discharged and I was on the ward all by myself! It was nice in some ways because I got so much care and attention, again the staff were just brilliant. They even took him for a few hours for me so I could get some sleep because I was so paranoid I was just looking at him all the time in case he stopped breathing!Finally we were allowed home on the Monday afternoon, and things have just been getting better ever since. I've been back into hospital a few more times for checks etc, but we're getting there. I'm just so happy to be home, and so proud of our little boy
x
