Today (day 19), I went to the bathroom and noticed light brown spotting, almost like the beginning of a period, only without the I've-been-kicked-in-the-back cramps I usually get. While I'd love for it to be implantation bleeding, the likelihood of that is so, so small... 
. DH and I haven't been able to BD much this time around, because I had a virus that kept me in bed for about a week. So we only had CD 6, 8, (then *maybe* 9; I didn't keep track... I haven't had much hope for this cycle from the beginning), and then later on 16 and 18. Unless I ovulated SUPER early, this bleeding is probably just breakthrough, right? Also, I was also on antibiotics for the sinus infection that I had on top of the cold virus, and someone pointed out that could be a factor too. UGH. I do think it's after ovulation itself, because 2-3 days ago, I started having the weird vivid dreams and mood swings that usually follow a couple days *after* my progesterone levels increase.
Seeing the bleeding just depressed me. I just *know* it'll end in another BFN. I don't temp because it stresses me out and don't use OPKs because my PCOS gives me positive strips pretty much all cycle long; I'm used to having regular u/s monitoring in previous cycles. So this time I have no idea what's going on with my body. Sometimes that reduces my anxiety, but other times... not so much. After 17 months TTC, I'm worn out and frustrated. I feel like I ought to just appreciate that I might have ovulated on my own, but I'm having difficulty even being grateful for that. It would be only the second time I've ovulated in two years, and this month I've had to take a break from fertility meds because I'm between doctors and my old one thought it would be best for my body to rest for a cycle or two.
. DH and I haven't been able to BD much this time around, because I had a virus that kept me in bed for about a week. So we only had CD 6, 8, (then *maybe* 9; I didn't keep track... I haven't had much hope for this cycle from the beginning), and then later on 16 and 18. Unless I ovulated SUPER early, this bleeding is probably just breakthrough, right? Also, I was also on antibiotics for the sinus infection that I had on top of the cold virus, and someone pointed out that could be a factor too. UGH. I do think it's after ovulation itself, because 2-3 days ago, I started having the weird vivid dreams and mood swings that usually follow a couple days *after* my progesterone levels increase. Seeing the bleeding just depressed me. I just *know* it'll end in another BFN. I don't temp because it stresses me out and don't use OPKs because my PCOS gives me positive strips pretty much all cycle long; I'm used to having regular u/s monitoring in previous cycles. So this time I have no idea what's going on with my body. Sometimes that reduces my anxiety, but other times... not so much. After 17 months TTC, I'm worn out and frustrated. I feel like I ought to just appreciate that I might have ovulated on my own, but I'm having difficulty even being grateful for that. It would be only the second time I've ovulated in two years, and this month I've had to take a break from fertility meds because I'm between doctors and my old one thought it would be best for my body to rest for a cycle or two.
