So sad today, need somebody to talk to

[Kimiw]

I was looking for my steamer in the spare room closet and I found the baby blankets and leap frog toy my mom bought for my babies (I was pregnant with twins) back in August. It was a big deal because it was my first pregnancy after trying for 6 years. My pregnancy was short lived when I miscarried at just 6 weeks. When I came across these items it killed me, I picked up one of the blankets and it hit me. This up coming Thursday (April 18th) is my would have been due date. I couldn't help but feel a urgent sense of loss and couldn't help imagining holding my babies in my arms. I really should get rid of them but I can't bring myself to it. I don't wanna look at them but to get rid of the items would be like saying my babies meant nothing.

 

[buttercup_82]

I'm so sorry, I know that must have been so painful for you. Don't get rid of them - keep them. Your little babies are watching over you and I bet they were holding your hands and hugging you when that happened.

Take care Hun, thinking of you xo

 

[Kimiw]

I'm so sorry, I know that must have been so painful for you. Don't get rid of them - keep them. Your little babies are watching over you and I bet they were holding your hands and hugging you when that happened.

Take care Hun, thinking of you xo

Thanks. I just can't hold back my sadness today and none of my friends or family understand how this is making me feel. They know it hurts but they don't know what to say. My BFF has 3 boys and she too suffered a miscarriage but then got pregnant with her youngest right away after. It took me six years just for it to be taken from me. It's been nearly 9 months since my loss and I haven't had any luck. It's just so hard.

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Just giving you a few extra today. I'm so sorry for your loss and sincerely hope you get a sticky, healthy baby or babies in your arms so much sooner than later .

 

[Left wonderin]

Kim , you poor thing you must be in such pain right now with your due date coming up it will amplify your sense of loss and grief . Coming up to and experiencing milestones , date of getting BFP, 1st appointment , date of loss and edd are all devastating as they are all reminders of the loss you have suffered .
It is totally understandable that you are feeling so raw and emotional right now , its part of the journey of your grief . You need to be extra nice to yourself in the coming week or so, have you anything planned for the 18th to remember your babies ? It might help with healing . Try not make any rash decisions about the blankets and toy right now as you might feel different in a month or so . If its too hard to have them to hand maybe get a nice box or tissue paper and put them away in the attic or something then they will be there if and when you need them in the future .

Above all look after yourself at this very difficult time for you xxxx

 

[Kimiw]

Kim , you poor thing you must be in such pain right now with your due date coming up it will amplify your sense of loss and grief . Coming up to and experiencing milestones , date of getting BFP, 1st appointment , date of loss and edd are all devastating as they are all reminders of the loss you have suffered .
It is totally understandable that you are feeling so raw and emotional right now , its part of the journey of your grief . You need to be extra nice to yourself in the coming week or so, have you anything planned for the 18th to remember your babies ? It might help with healing . Try not make any rash decisions about the blankets and toy right now as you might feel different in a month or so . If its too hard to have them to hand maybe get a nice box or tissue paper and put them away in the attic or something then they will be there if and when you need them in the future .

Above all look after yourself at this very difficult time for you xxxx

thank you for your kind words. I have to work on the 18th but I am going to try and not let it get to me too much (at least until I am at home alone and I can cry to myself). I concieved my twins on my second round of clomid, my third and fouth I did not respond to treatment. I am starting my 5th cycle of clomid this week and on the 19th (day after my would have been due date) I am going in for a follicle scan to see if I responded. If I have little or no response the doctor is going to give me more medication to try and get my ovaries stimulated so that we can try again. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this will be the beginning of my rainbow baby story. I am trying to keep positive, it is just so hard. It was a complete coinsidence that my due date and my follicle scan happend right next to each other...maybe this is a good sign??? I dont' know! I hope so!

 

[Hippielove]

((Hugs)) I feel your pain..

 

[aalam9199]

I am so sorry! Lots of hugs to you !

 

[schultzie18]

I am so sorry for your loss! I too had lost my little one and know how hard it is! Sending hoping you get your sticky bfp soon!

 

[SanDi0813]

sending big hugs to you!

 

[flou]

Im so sorry for your loss. I wouldn't get rid of the blankets but put them away to be brought out when you do finally get your little one in your arms. My thoughts are with you for the 18th.

 

[Left wonderin]

Hi just stopping by in case you do to say I am thinking of you during these hard days another bfn for me today and it just awakens the grief and sadness I feel for my little lost soul I hope you are being well minded by those around you xxxx

 

[Kimiw]

Thank all of you so much for the hugs and kind words. Tomorrow is the day, I am going to try the best I can to get through it. I'm thinking of writing a special poem in their honor for their would have been bday (give or take a few days of course). I still love them and they are forever in my heart.

 

[Left wonderin]

If you do , I would love to hear it. Xxxx

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

If you do , I would love to hear it. Xxxx

Yes, definitely!

 

[Kimiw]

Angel babies why couldn't you stay?
Angel babies we miss you everyday
Angel babies would you have had daddy's nose and mommys eyes?
Angel babies,
how we longed to hear your cries.
Angel babies how it hurts we were torn apart.
But i promise you will always be in our hearts

 

[Kimiw]

A poem short, sweet, and from the heart

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

What sweet words to send out to your babies Kimi. I'm so glad you were able to capture your emotions in a verse .

 

[laustiredttc]

hey kimiw just wanted to say i am so so sorry for your loss. I suffered a loss on march 7th with my first. Your poem brought tears to my eyes. I hope that putting your emotions to paper has helped a bit and i wish you every bit of luck for the future

 

[Left wonderin]

How beautiful xx