So scared after 3rd degree tear and internal bleeding.

[princess2406]

I gave birth 10 days ago to my beautiful baby boy Oakley weighing 8lb 12oz. Labour was perfect until I started getting exhausted from pushing and Oakleys hb was taking a while to rise with contractions, so I had a ventouse delivery from which I suffered a 3rd degree tear.

I was told I would be taken to theatre for stitches but this wasn't seen as an emergency situation so would be some point during the afternoon and would take about 30minutes.

At first I was fine and had skin to skin straight away, oh cut the cord, basically everything in my birth plan happened apart from placenta was delivered by injection - fair enough, and I started to bf. But after about 30minutes I felt massive discomfort and had to pass lo to oh as I was in so much pain. I kept trying to lay in different positions on my side/back but the pain just kept getting worse OH went to get the dr and midwife and they said it was just from the tear and that my blood loss was actually ok and not to worry. Within 10 minutes of them leaving the room again I felt a massive pop down there and a gush of blood. OH checked and I could see the horror on his face and he told me not to look and ran to get the dr. Within minutes I was being rushed down to theatre and the room filled with over 20 drs and consultants. I was put on general anesthetic and pumped full of so many different drugs including 3 blood transfusion as I was later told I had lost 3 pints of blood. I remember everything so clearly and lying there seeing the worry on the dr's faces, the alarms going off on different machines, it was terrifying. All I could think of was my new baby and my oh and was terrified I wouldnt be going home to be a mummy.

After 3 hours in theatre I was finally re-united with my baby and my oh, what an emotional reunion

I was told not only had I suffered a 3rd degree tear but also internal bleeding near my uretha, so even though they managed to stich the tear, becuase I had just given birth and everything inside was 'stretched', they described it as trying to stitch wet cardboard together and at 1 point things really got out of control.

Anyway I now feel back to myself and the drs are happy I am making a full recovery, I have god knows how many appointments to attend physio, post natal etc over the next few months.

But I'm absolutley terrified that theyve missed something or something is going to happen and this time I wont be as lucky. I keep worrying that I'm going to be taken from my family, after all the time ttc and going through IVF

I worry that something will happen in my sleep, or when we get back to having sex or if we want another baby in the future, that something will go wrong.

I've spoken to my oh and he's been amazingly supportive, but I dont want to worry him, so try and keep my thoughts to myself. I'm sorry for the long post but I'm glad here I can type my thoughts and hopefully get support

 

[katieeandbump]

Aww hun that sounds so scary I cant even imagine how terrified you must of been! Im sure its only normal to be worrying about those things, my god i worry somethings still going to happen to me even though i had no stitches and no complications! any gush of blood and i go into panic! Its good your oh is surportive and im sure he doesnt think your just going on about it! Im sure it frightened him too so its probably nice for him to talk about it aswel!

All i can say to u is, you made it through the rough part and ulthough your bound to worry now the best thing you can do is to try and concentrate on other things (easier said that done) by that i mean, if something else or bad is going to happen it will happen whether you are worrying about it or not. Spending your time thinking things over and over will just make u feel so much worse, i have realised this from experience Keep telling yourself you are healing and getting better, keep your midwifes phone number with you at all times just so you can give her a ring whenever you feel you need to talk to her. Im sure anyone will listen to you whenever you want, and there are doctors hospitals ect that are always open should there be anything up. You could have post traumatic stress and you should speak to your doctor if you think these worrys are taking over your every day feelings. Congratulations to you and get resting!! remember there are always people you can talk to, even if its just us on here hehe! xxxxxxx

 

[tina3747]

Sorry I can't help you as I've never had ventouse but I know another lady in a similar situation as yours... (You'll probably feel lucky after reading her problems!) it might help talking to her. Her names tiggerpony, there was a thread called 'anyone had forceps' I think in baby club. They'll probably be a few ladies even on that thread.

 

[eve123]

Hi there, i had a delivery similar to yours, had the vaccum which didnt work, resulted in forceps, had an episiotomy and third degree tear! Lost so much blood i needed 3 units of blood on day 2! I was terrified like yourself and to be honest was traumatised after the whole thing (even now 7 weeks later i still have tears in my eyes when i remember that day).

You should discuss all your worries with your doctor at your 6 week check check up, i had to push for mine (they booked me in for that appointment the end of feb,which i felt was too long away), i too have had my first of many physio appointments too, i found that very helpful, the physio said i can have as many appointments as i like! are you doing your pelvic floor exercises?

I know things are still very raw in your mind as it has only been a couple of weeks but you will start to feel better, if you ever want to chat, send me a PM, take care of yourself x

 

[tiggerpony]

Hi there - honestly hun you are not guna bleed anymore than you should now - I had 4th degree tear and lost 2 litres of blood while being stitched up...I am still here 6 months on and havn't had any unusual bleeding. Not comming out of me anyway! My entire rectum was split amongst half my uretha and everything else due to forceps, honestly you are guna be ok. 3rd degree tear means your entire periniuem was torn - but not ANY of your rectum or bladder. Im sorry you had a bad birthing experience, so did I and I am still not over it 6 months on. Just dont let yourself get constipated and enjoy your baby x

 

[princess2406]

Thankyou all so much for your kind words and support I definatley feel better talking to you ladies who know what it's like, and to hear everything will be ok makes me feel better, although it's still always in the back of my mind and will be for a long time I guess. I have spoke with oh and checked if he is ok and how he feels about the whole experience, and I feel very selfish for not realising, I know it obviously affected him and upset him but I didnt realise how much. He was very upset and just as scared as me about the whole thing But even then he is being so positive that at least now everything is ok and I will be ok. He's going to come to all of my appointments with me, I think it will be good for us both to be there to support each other.

 

[Mummy2B21]

What an awful experience hun im so sorry you went through that.
May i suggest some councelling i know you may think well that wont help but it helps so many mothers that have had a trumatic birth and it really helps

 

[princess2406]

I have thought about counselling, I think I'll see how I feel over the next few weeks and see how my appointments go first though.