so update good and bad :/

[teenmommy15]

so good news first, my boyfriend has been to all my appointments since we had our serious conversation about our relationship and our baby girl so im happy about that.

okay bad news, so i havent been feeling to well lately i missed last week wednesday through today half way through school. When my mom picked me up from school today she was bitching at me about missing so much school. We got into a huge agruement and i dont know about you ladies but me and mother never had a good relationship before my pregnancy and for months she was great support and we were getting along really well through my pregnancy but now i can tell its just gonna go down hill again from here. Today she said i was on my own so i am, i dont want her at my appointments and i dont want her their when the babys born i want her no where near my child its sad to think my daughters not gonna have any grandparents. My boyfriends parents tried to force me to get an abortion so my daughter will never meet them and my father is dead and obviously me and mother arent making up ever so me and my boyfriend are all my daughter has.

honestly i dont know where i stand with everything and i just dont know what to do..

 

[jozylynn896]

I'm sorry that you're stressing out.
Don't take offense by any of this. I
think you're hugely exaggerating. I would get mad at my child too for not going to school. I would try to understand that she didn't feel up to it, but you also have to see where shes coming from.
Your mom being mad would say something like "You're on your own".
My mom would tell me that all of the time. If she meant it honey you'd be homeless right now.
Maybe LO won't meet OH's family but from what I hear it sounds like you're being a little bit ungrateful by the support your mother has given to you.
Yeah she shouldn't have blown up like that, but you are going too far saying you don't want her any more just from one argument.
I know you're hurt but you should thank your mom. Not say you want her nowhere near her grandchild.

 

[teenmommy15]

for her to support me 3 months out of 16 years ? i think i being reasonable. i dont want her trying to raise my daughter the way i was raised. the only reason im not on the street is cause of my baby other than that im pretty sure i would be. yeah ive gotten the ungrateful thing before but in the end i dont want someone like her around my baby .

 

[magic93]

Thats good that your boyfriend is being more supportive, im happy to hear that.
Sorry to hear about the arguement with your mom tho, thats too bad. Im sure itll all blow over tho! I can understand why shed be upset that you havent been to school, she jus wants whats best for you! I also understand how hard it must be to go to school and focus on that when you arent feeling good and you have so much goin on. But try to push yourself to get thru the next couple months, do it for your little girl cuz school is the best thing for both of you! Your emotions are all over the place right now so I understand why you feel that way with your mom. Mabye talk to her about how your feeling. I dont think your mom meant it when she said your on your own... And honestly I dont think you mean it when you say you dont want her near your child. That is her granddaughger. And you really need your moms support right now especially considering your OHs parents are not involved whatsoever. Jus try n relax hun, youll be alright.

 

[teenmommy15]

honestly i dont think she cares weather i pass or not she just doesnt like me being home on her days off invading her "days off". i mean my emotions are all over the place but dont moms usually explode then later apologize i mean were both in the wrong but she's my mom and she exploded first i wish she was just a little more caring towards me instead she just bitches. and for right now i believe she meant that im on my own and from the way she acted i really dont want that influence around my child. yeah i better relax for the baby. and eventhough ive missed so much school ive been emailing my teacher and constantly staying on top of my work. so its not like im not passing you know? and i would talk to her about how i feel but everytime i do that she insists she's right and doesnt really care .. idk we'll see how things go tomorrow. i have an appointment so maybe OH can cheer me up.

 

[magic93]

I mean I dont know your mom.. But alot of mothers have a strange way of doing things. You and your mom will be fine. Jus stay on top of everything, n keep calm and stress free for your babygirl. Hope your doin better hun

 

[thecurlymama]

Ahh, this is so hard beth, I can relate !

Let me just say this, though.... I have had these sorts of fights with my mom. We have said awful things to each other. She once said to me that I enjoy fucking up everybody in our family's lives, and still will blurt out how immature I am during fights (which she knows hurts my feelings to no end) and in response I told her that I haven't seen her happy in 10 years and that she's always depressed (that's a really touchy subject for her) I've said that I don't want any of her advice and that I want nothing to do with her, that she's judgmental, blah blah blah, I've even been tempted to pull the "you don't get to be around my child" card. The only thing is, when I really think about it (after our fight is settled down) I realize that a part of growing up, being mature and being able to have adult relationships (which now include the ones we have with our parents) means being able to work past things. It can be hard to forgive somebody when you feel really hurt, but the thing about family is that they are probably the only people that are really worth forgiving for just about anything.

Now, don't get me wrong, I totally see where you're coming from on the not wanting your OH's parents around- I don't think I would be very forgiving in that situation, either.

If I were you I'd talk with your mom. Approach her saying that you really would just like to have an adult conversation without it turning into a fight and tell her how you feel. Let her know that you are willing to hear her side and hear how she feels as long as she can express it in away that isn't judgmental towards you because you've already had your feelings hurt (and then the catch is you actually have to listen to what she says). Then, you get to say your part. No interruptions from either of you, neither of you are allowed to get defensive or act like you're being attacked, it's purely just you both expressing how you feel. Even though fights are an expression of feelings, sometimes (more than sometimes) they end up being very exaggerated versions of our feelings, and often end up being hurtful.

I think it's reasonable for us as young mothers to understand that our moms have got it hard,too, and the fact that your mom is trying to be supportive is really big of her. It's her baby having a baby, and that's concerning! I'd say give it a chance, you don't want to rush into something and end up wanting her back later and then feeling foolish for telling her off so quickly.

Good luck, though and I'm sorry that this is a hard time for you I'm really glad that you and your boyfriend are working things out and that he's committed to standing by you

 

[wouldluvabub]

I'm not a teen mum but I'm still young! Had first bub at 22 and want another now I'm 23 all I can say is once you are a mother yourself you will cut your mother a bit more slack! It's easy to feel like she is nasty an so on but really think about things long and hard.. Her baby (you) is having a baby at 15. She probably feels like she's a bad mother, and has done somethin wrong Hun (I don't mean any offense by this!! It's just at 15 your still a baby yourself and its hard to except such a big responsibility!! No way I'd have been ready at 15!! Your amazing for wanting to keep the baby yourself!) You being pregnant is hard for her and you! It's not something either of you had planned (sorry if I'm wrong). Once your baby is here you will realized how much you need your mum! OH's are great but sometimes you need your own mother for help (i know have!). You will need advice and understanding and also someone who you trust fully to leave bub with when you need a bit of me time, and trust me you WILL need a bit of me time!! Plus you don't want to take away a grandparent from you baby.. Your bub deserves everything in life, just like you!! She and you both need a mother and grandmother!!

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

Great news about your boyfriend supporting you and being there for appointments, hopefully he will continue.

With the parents, ultimately as a parent you are going to do and say things that your child won't want to hear. I think your mum and your boyfriends parents will come around but at the moment they are struggling to come to terms with you and your partner being young parents. Your mum probably just wants you to complete school and now fears you won't because of missing so much, but doesn't know how to cope with it. Everything will be a bit tense, but try notto cut them off entirely, as your pregnancy progresses, people will get more excited, and if you can try to keep up with school, even ask if you can do some things at home to catch up on days you have to miss. Pregnancy is definitely hard, without the stresses of school, but in the long run, if you can do well at school now, you will be doing something great for you and your unborn child's future.

 

[teenmommy15]

well im gonna pass im finishing all the work i owe today as a matter of fact plus getting most of the nursery done today and adding things in later and you know if my mom decides to come around and be ready to be a great grandma thats fine but i will never let my OH's family be a part of my babys life and he agrees that he doesnt want them around either and as soon as he turns 18 he's gonna get away from his family as soon as possible because honestly who would want someone around that said your OH wasnt allowed to see you unless you get an abortion and after you say no just keep asking and asking and say she'll pay for it and making the whole pregnancy hard for you.