So upset with my DH! :'(

[ponyparade]

DH and i have been TTC for 18 months. I was diagnosed with a blocked left tube (hydrosalpinx) and a damaged right tube back in october after having surgery for what they thought was a large ovarian cyst. The damage was caused by my apendix bursting when i was a kid- this caused scar tissue to damage the tubes. Thankfully my ovaries are totally healthy.

DH came home from being out all day with friends yesterday, and mentioned that another friend of ours had been in hospital with an expected burst appendix, had surgery and the doctors found out that the cause of her pain was actually large cysts on her ovaries that had become infected. (shes older and is done having kids thankfully).

DH filled me in on all of this and then mentioned that he told the friends he was with that was what was wrong with me too. I was like what??! where have you been for the last year 8 months? he looked confused and was like what do you mean? thats whats wrong with you isnt it?

I couldnt believe that he didnt know exactly what is wrong with me. Im his wife?! Hes been to every doctors appointment with me, was there when i woke up from surgery and listened to the doctors findings, i talk about it all the time in detail.... and somehow he hasnt listened?!

I was so hurt and upset- i just cant believe after all this time hes clearly not been that interested or seen it as anything important and worth taking in/understanding. I already feel like im fighting my infertility issues alone, i feel even more alone now.

 

[ao30]

Sometimes I am surprised when husband isn't on top of things too... it stinks, but I try to remember that it's my body, and therefore I am really interested in what is wrong/right with it. He cares, but there's so much information for him to grasp on to.

Try not to stay upset too much. You need less stress when TTC... I would let him know how you feel, but try not to get mad. Maybe explain how much you need him beside you every step of the way; how you need him to be informed so that you don't feel so alone. Remind him that you guys are a team

Many hugs!

 

[ARRIELLE]

Aww... I am sorry... Men are just not as bright as us women are... At least he was close...my dh is extra dumb so dont feel bad, mine refuses to go to the doctor with me!!!

 

[Heidi_Lewis]

xxxxx

 

[silvershadow]

From the sounds of it, at least he remember a few of the common factors within the two stories. I know its not the same as remembering every detail, but at least he remember some!!! thats more than what some men would remember. Also as pointed out above, it is happening to you, its your body so you will be far more interested and will research it more than what he will. The most important thing is that he was there to hold your hand, he was there to listen, to support, and to love you every step of the way.

 

[HildieVK]

That really sucks. You are right to feel like he doesn't listen to you, and hurt that he doesn't know what's going on. I think it's hard for men because they don't have the right parts, and the female body is still a mystery to them--even when we're TTC and they know all the intimate, sometimes disgusting, details. Perhaps he was trying to be empathetic to his friends, and it came out the wrong way.

He does love you though... as evidenced by his actions. So his words and thoughts got mixed up. He is only a man, after all.

 

[KahluaCupcake]

Men aren't dumb as a whole. They're just not biologically and evolutionally programmed to focus on details as we are.
Cmon, ladies....how many of you have to make doctors appointments for your men, refill their prescriptions, pick up their socks and make sure they eat healthy? Or remind them when their own family members' birthdays are?
It's not that your hubby doesn't care to remember. He just isn't so interested in the details.
When we go to the doctor, we bring a list with questions, symptoms, drug names, etc. We badger them until we get answers and ask for clarification.
When men have a problem, they listen to only the major details, and will take whatever the doctor prescribes, no questions asked.
As much as we love them, most men aren't normally interested in what's going on with our reproductive parts. They want a baby, and will happily take the vitamins we ask them to take, eat the foods we ask them to eat, and cut back on smoking or drinking. And they'll be there for us when we're pregnant and for the baby.
But if I were to ask DF what my cycle date was, he probably wouldn't even look at the calendar where I wrote it in. He'd just shrug and say, "I don't know; what CD ARE you on?"

 

[princess_1991]

OMG pony parade, im probably dead sad for gettin over excited lmao but ive been looking all over this website for some one with similar problems to me,

i was rushed into hospital about 2 years ago for a suspected appendicitus, after doing scans, tests etc they found an 8cm cyst on my ovaries,
after antibiotics etc if shrunk and went away but i was still gettin the pain so i had an diagnostic laparoscopy and they discovered scar tissue etc and removed as much as possible but also found both tubes blocked/damaged but were not sure,
two weeks ago i had a hysterosalpingogram and by the looks of it both my tubes are at least blocked but not sure about damaged untill my follow up appointment in june,

me and my husband have been tryin for 2 and a half years,

i would love to know how your getting on and whats the next step toward you having a baby, because i wont find out my options till june

would be estatic if you could let me know