Soo depressed!!!

[Jemma_x]

well if some of you read my thread a couple of week ago, i gave birth to my little girl lauren on 29/07/08 at 21+3 and sadly after 15 mins she left us. well today my mum came in and said we need to talk and i was really worried something bad had happend. So she came and sat with me and she said " i no this is going to be hard for you but your sisters pregnant" and they knew before i lost lauren but they wanted to wait until she'd seen midwife before they told me and then because i lost lauren they waited even longer to tell me and what makes it worse is my sisters only 14, i know she's got alot of support but its still to young in my oppinion.

How could she do this to me, i honestly hate her so much at the minute, i dont want her anywere near me and just hearing my mum and dad and sis talk about the new baby, its breaking my heart.

My sisters also going on about this being there first grandchild asif lauren never exsisted, we may have only had 15 mins with her but in my eyes she's there first grandchild, its like they have just forgotten about her, how can they do this to me?? I only lost lauren a couple of weeks ago and now ive got this to deal with aswell

anyone ever been through this and got any advice for me would be really appreciated

jemma x

 

[xXx Vamp xXx]

Awww sweetheart, first of all, hugs hugs and more hugs. I can not ever begin to imagine what you're going through right now and if I could take that pain away I would in a heartbeat. I never would have thought that you'd have news like that so soon, and I can't imagine how shocked you are about it. Wow. I think you need to ask your mother to remind your sister that lauren was their first granchild and that she will never be forgotten. I would think that at 15 she's had more about her than to be so awful about it, but then again I don't know her to comment much. I wish I could give you a big hug =(

 

[todteach]

I am so sorry hun. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now, but didn't want to read and run. You have every right to be upset right now. Thankfully you have your OH's support. Big

 

[Suzanne]

Ya sister definitely needs to be reminded that Lauren was your parents first grandchild, she was with you for 15 minutes which "officially" makes you a mother and her your daughter! However in my eyes any baby that we lose whether it be full term, mid way, still born, miscarraige, is a son or daughter to all us mothers and fathers!

That said sweetheart you need to put all that negative energy you have towards your sister into positive energy for yourself, your the one that is important right now, noone else, sister or no sister its YOUR feelings that need to be taken care of! You need to start thinking of you and only you and NOONE and I mean NOONE should expect anything else from you right now, its been 2 weeks since you lost your precious daughter, TWO WEEKS!!!

Can you tell im a bit mad right now? Sorry for that hun, I just find it dispicable at times that families can be this way, your right 14 is WAY to young to be having a child, she is still a child herself but that said, she is having this baby but that isnt something you need to concern yourself with right now!

I really dont know what else to say hun, except maybe counselling is the way forward here so that you can try and come to terms with your loss, one day at a time, small steps and im sure in time you will deal with your grief in a way inwhich you can then stand tall and be proud of yourself.

Please know we are here for you anytime!

 

[Sarah88]

Oh sweety
It's completely understandable to feel this way especially since your sister is only 14! She shouldn't even be having sex at that age... Your mum needs to be reminded that Lauren is their first grandchild.
I wish I could help ease some of the pain, but I can't.

 

[superp123]

So sorry for your loss. This must be such a terrible time for you and you're right for feeling betrayed and angry. Your family should have been forthcoming about your sister right away... and given you the opportunity to be at least little happy for her(even though she's too young). Instead now it just feels like a stab in the back. As for your sister, she is just showing her maturity by commenting the way she is. Your baby Lauren was real and it is real grief that you're going through and no one can take that from you. Don't feel like you need behaive or react in any certain way to this news or the family reaction about your sister's baby. All you need to do at this very moment is deal with what you've got already. The rest can piss off for awhile.
I hope that you'll take care of you and have hubby screen phone calls for a couple of days or more. Take all the time you need.
BIG
P

 

[chefamy1122]

oh honey I don't have any advice for you, but I am tearing up reading your post thinking about how you must be feeling right now. Sending you

 

[princess_bump]

i'm so so sorry for your loss, i have no advice, but i just wanted to say xxxxx

 

[jacky24]

Hi jemma my name is jacky.

I have been thru exactly what you have been thru, i lost my son at 37weeks and 2days, he was stilborn, but no one but my OH and my sister saw my son.

About 3months later my SIL found out she was pregnant but she is 27 so could have expected that, and her son was born 10days after my sons 1st birthday.

We also had the huge fights about CJ being their first grandchild, and unfortunately we tend to be over sensitive when it gets to these things.
Your ANGEL will always be with her granperants and don't worry about your sister expecting... I told my self every single day... A baby is a gift from above, and every single mother deserves her gift from above.

I would urge you to be there for your sister and help her, remeber you are the older sis now and you are going to be an aunt.

I hope you make it thru this difficult time hun, i know it is hard but look at my avatar pic, it is our godchild and he has only brought pleasure and love into our home now.

 

[SJK]

I am soo sorry for you loss , I think its better you found out from your mum now, rather than later on and from someone else. You sister hasnt grown up yet, so pay no attention to what she says, shes still a child herself, however I think you should be there for the baby as its not the babies fault what has happened and it will be hard for you, but hopefully it will get easier each day for you and yes Lauren was their first grandchild, Im so sorry darlin xxxx

 

[tansey]

So sorry for your loss.
You need to talk to your family and tell them that your sisters baby will not be the 1st born and everyone should respect that and what you are going through, and you will be happier to respect what's happened to your sister at such a young age. She will need support later on but you need it now. Tell them - do not let it eat you up! xx