Stealing a name?

[Sophist]

5 months or so ago I was talking to my sister. At this point, DH and I didn't think we would ever become pg. We were talking baby names (she was engaged and wants to start a family soon.) She mentioned her favorite boys name, and I said, "oh! That's the boys name we love too and were wanting to use...but nevermind, we probably won't have any more kids."

Well now I'm pg, and she isn't (her DH is being deployed to Iraq for a year so she won't be having kids as soon as she wanted either.) I had completely forgotten about this conversation, and now Dh and I are talking names and are back to the name that we love.

Then I suddenly remembered the conversation. I don't want to be a jerk to my sister whom I dearly love and am *very* close to. I know she will forgive me if I use the name...but I'm really feeling like maybe we should choose something different.

What would you do?

 

[RubyRainbows]

Since you are so close to your sister, i think you should talk to her about it.... get an idea of how she feels about you using it....

If i was her, i would be a bit disappointed... to be honest...

 

[Amygdala]

I agree. If there's any way you can agree on a different name I would find something else. She doesn't have any kids yet, so in her mind, a child with that name is probably already part of her family and she's just waiting for him to be conceived. Do you know what I mean? I think it's quite likely that the name is much more important to her than it is to you, as she can't have the real thing, the baby, any time soon. Not sure if I'm getting this across very well but either way, I'd try to see whether there is something else that your DH and you both love. I think it's lovely that you're considering your sister's feelings by the way, so many people wouldn't.

 

[jenkins]

i think you should have a chat with her about it soon as poss really, so that way if she would be really upset you can either break it to her gently that you are seriously considering it, or you can move on and think about other names

good luck

 

[Sophist]

Thanks ladies!

I talked with Dh last night and he said he has reservations about the name also--his nephew whom he's close to lost his father as a teenager. Now he and his wife are TTC and coincidentally it's also BIL's name. Dh thinks his nephew is probably planning to use it as well.

So it looks like we will be choosing something else!