"stop trying and it'll happen"

[Oh_Clementine]

i thought we could all share the 'advice' people give to you when you're TTC.

my doctor said "you're still so young, travel and enjoy your life while you still can"


.... i completely forgot, you can't do any of these things once you have LO's. my bad.

 

[JMM]

Good thread! I'll add a few:

"you just want it too bad, that's why it's not happening"

"once you stop thinking about it all the time, it'll happen"

"your body is just stressing out about it, that's why you're not getting pregnant"

argh! My DH is even saying some of that stuff to me, drives me crazy!!!! Don't people know that I just can't stop thinking about it?! and there are lots of ppl that think about it and stress about it and ARE getting prego; I can't just turn 'off' the "I want a baby" switch!

 

[Mrsmac02]

Love this thread!

The one i get from my dear mother in law on an almost weekly basis (when she brings it up!!) is "It'll happen when you least expect it."

I become so obsessed with 'symptom' spotting during the 2ww that I cant help but expect it!

I know people are only trying to help but sometimes I want to scream!

 

[decisions]

I heard all of these too and as much as I hate to say it - for us it was true! lol

My husband and I were both born and bred in Oklahoma. Dated for 2 years (didn't use birth control so I guess it was a pull/pray method), then married and lived in Oklahoma for an additional 2 years. We actively tried most of those 2 years. We were not stressed or anything but Oklahoma was very boring for us so I guess you could say we weren't as happy as we knew we could be.

My husband got a job in Denver, CO in February of 2010. It was a contract job so did not offer insurance but the pay was good enough he accepted and we happily moved to Denver. We decided just to purchase an individual major medical policy since "we couldn't get pregnant". This way we would be covered if anything major happened but it did not cover maternity.

We both started our jobs and were so wrapped up in our new lives did not even give TTC a thought. April of 2010 I got a positive pregnancy test! We were shocked to say the least. After the shock wore off the first thing that came to mind was "oh crap, we dont have maternity coverage". Someone up above was looking out for us because the Cobra insurance from his previous company was still available...but only for 5 more days! And Cobra insurance covered maternity! December 2010 a perfect little boy graced us with his presence.

I have no idea why it took moving to Denver to conceive. Maybe the fresh air, maybe the water, maybe less stress. Who knows. But when we stopped thinking about it and "took a vacation", we conceived.

Now that we want to conceive again, with seemingly no luck so far, we might need to hink about moving to a new city! lol

 

[Fizzyfefe]

My doctor, when I told her that I was taking my basal body temperature: "Oh, don't do that. It doesn't work."

 

[Evansangel]

I hate the "just relax and it will happen"
How can I relax?

My doctor is quite good, he says I should continue to do things (bbt, opks) but only as long as they aren't stressing me out.

 

[2have4kids]

Yes, I love it when they say "oh stop trying and it'll happen", because I believe the stork knows my address and will just pop by when I'm least expecting. And also, because I'm fertile all throughout the month, not just when the OPK lights up. And oh yea, because I also ovulate even when I'm not taking supplements, yea that's why I didn't ovulate for 2 years and no, I haven't been diagnosed with premature ovarian diminishment. Nope, everythings just hunky furking dorey on my end of the schtick.

I always ensure I thank these nosey ignoramouses profusely for their great advice, kill them with kindness as they say. I'm sure, even though it's charmingly sarcastic, they think about my special thank you after they walk away.

 

[MamaTex]

"Pray to God, God will bless you with your heart's desire."

Um, no. If all it took was praying, there would be many more babies being born.

"Have sex [in this way]or [in that position]."

What matters is that the sperm and egg unite, not that they unite from a certain position!!!

"Hold your legs up after you finish. That will help the sperm and you will get pregnant."

Sperm know what they are doing. They are designed to swim and survive in some tough conditions. The only thing I would use to help them along is some sperm friendly lubricant like Preseed!!

"Take my kids and it will make you realize that maybe you want to hold off on TTC."

Ya lady, I really want to babysit your kids. Take care of your own d*** kids!

People mean well, but really suck at giving advice. It's just assumed that everyone can get pregnant at the drop of a hat!!!

 

[MMW430]

"You're so young! Live your life!"

I'm 24. My DH is 27. We can afford a baby now. We have a house. We have good jobs. This is the next natural step.

"Maybe if you weren't so high strung about it...."

HOW CAN I NOT BE HIGH STRUNG?! I WANT A BABY AND IT'S NOT HAPPENING FAST ENOUGH FOR ME.

 

[stickybean4]

I hated all these remarks as well, when i was trying to conceive. But guess what I got pregnant as soon as we stopped trying. Lol

 

[Oh_Clementine]

thanks for all your replies, ladies.

for those of us who haven't got the BFP's we want - fingers crossed we get them very soon

for those of you who have been blessed with children already - lucky bitches.

 

[BrightLights]

Now I know it is annoying to hear that phrase! But with my daughter we tried for 18 months to get pregnant and then fell pregnant 19 month that month we had a death in the family so it was the last thing on my mind conceiving but it happened! Then I'm pregnant now with jelly bean and it happened by accident after 1 night with no contraception! Both with my husband! So I kind of believe it after 18 months trying! Then bam an accident it seems to much of a coincidence!