Stressed out.

[katherinegrey]

So me and DF decided that we wanted just a very small ceremony followed by a very small reception, we decided we'd even self cater and just put an afternoon tea and a buffet on to keep costs down. Well now our day guest list is at 30 and our evening guest list is a whopping 81. In addition to this we decided we'd just have one bridesmaid, my sister, well now she's all offended because I'm not having my niece, which means my best friend wants to be bridesmaid which means so does SIL and my step-niece and DF's sister, taking me up to a grand total of SIX bridesmaids. I simply can't afford six bridesmaids! I can't afford 6 bouquets, it's madness, I only wanted a very small affair, and all I keep getting is 'well, you should at least invite so and so', or 'can't they at least come to the evening?!'. Ridiculous. I'm so stressed about the whole thing, the wedding is in just under four months and I'm ready to cry.

 

[Mummy May]

This is exactly what happens to some people, they all think they have a god given right to have a say on your day! Step 1 is to put your foot down, tell them exactly how it is - you're only having 1 bridesmaid! (Or get OH to do it.) Step 2 is to not tell anyone anything else about your plans, I've found it so much easier and less stressful now nobody knows my plans!! The only people that know everything are me, OH, my BM and a friend that I don't see but were swapping wedding plans (she's getting married 6 months after me). One of the most stressful things for me was my MIL asking if we had ''spare places'' for her friends to come to our evening do. ERM NO! lol. You just have to lay it down straight or people will butt in left right and centre. Hope you get sorted hun xxx

 

[Lauren25]

Deffo put your foot down!
If you want a small wedding then you have a small wedding, don't change it into something but and to include lots of people just to please others!

Was it you who said about the small wedding and then a bigger vow renewal down the line? If it was could you not tell people this, that when you do your vow renewal then that's when you will have more people etc!

 

[aly888]

Can only echo the other two...put your foot down!! Dont give them even a little bit because then they'll only know that you can be 'pursuaded' and will start making more suggestions (demands)!
Have it how you want it. If people don't like that then why would you even want them in your bridal party anyway?!

 

[lozzy21]

You have three options,
Do as they say and hate your day.

Put your foot down and tell every one no.

Tell them fine they can be bridesmaids but they can pay for their own dresses, flowers, transport and dont be expecing a present.

 

[katherinegrey]

I've said what you said that they can be bridesmaids but they must pay for their own dresses, shoes, accessories, hair and make up, transport and they can have fake flowers off eBay and not get a present. Seems to be fine actually! They've all agreed to do just that.