Struggling with my 11 year old daughter

[Elljo3]

Someone please help me.

I have always struggled to bond with my daughter and it's getting out of hand now.
If things done go as she wants them or doesn't get her way she mouths off so much.
Every day is the same and has been for a very long time.

She says I speak to her with an attitude, so even if I make sure I don't she then gets upset that she them can't blame me.

I am at my wits end with her.

Please someone help me. How do I disapline her?

 

[Natasha2605]

Consistency. You say you have struggled to bond with her for a long time, she can probably pick up or that and maybe it is a factor in her behavior.

Your daughter is absolutely old enough to know better. I'd sit down together, air it out and set some ground rules for everyone in the family (so she doesn't feel singled out) and make her aware of rewards/consequences for both good and bad behavior. And stick to it. If she can see she can mouth off and walk all over you then she will.

 

[seoj]

She is old enough to have a good sit down talk- for you both to just be open and honest (no judgement) and try to move forward from here. I know it's hard to just let go of the past and all that has happened- but if you both put in the time and effort, things can certainly get better.

Kids do need consistency- I'm not saying you aren't, but maybe something to look at in case. Also - they learn by example... I've always taught my SD that respect is earned, not just given. That the trust I have with her is something we've had to work on at times- but that I will always support and love her.

Obviously your situation is different... but I do think a good talk can go a long way. Girls, especially, need that positive reinforcement as they grow. I remember how critical I was on myself when I was younger (even still sometimes! and I should know better)-- your daughter is for sure going through some big physical/emotional changes. I remember how emotional my SD was at that age-- she's only gotten easier tbh. But around 10-12 she for sure pushed limits and boundaries a LOT. Drove us a bit mad at times. LOL. She just wanted to have her "independence" but too young to have it fully-- and was stuck between little girl and woman... and I do think there is so much pressure from society for girls to grow up too fast. It's a hard balance to find as a parent- allowing them freedom, but keeping limits that make sense.

I always told (and still sometimes) my SD - she's almost 17 now- that she is like a balloon. We have to let the air out slowly to keep her calm- otherwise she'll go pppppssssstttt all over! Silly, but it makes sense.

You'll figure it out hun. This parenting thing can be hard at times!

 

[yish1]

She's 11, not mature enough. Just keep calm, maybe you should take her out some time and get perfect timing to talk to her about that, just talk to her nicely