Support after c-section (vent)

[Strike]

I'm not getting any.

I've told DH I can't lift or bend over without hurting so carrying laundry of loading/unloading the bottom drawer of the dishwasher is out. I've told him numerous times. So today, guess who has to fill up and start the dishwasher. Then, go up to change before my last pump before bed and none of the laundry has been put away. He's simply stacked the clothes bins.

And don't even get me started on the whole garbage thing.

Seriously, the man used to be an RN. He knows my limitations. Why the f is he so lazy!?

Please tell me I'm not alone here.

 

[Saki]

Dont do it. Simple as that. You are not physically able to bend yet and if you push too much you could rupture your wound/stitches and antagonise an infection. You need to be a mummy and the housewife duties can wait.

Have you tried to tell him? Its very early for you to be doing this, maybeyou can compromise and take charge of laundry if it doesnt involve bending.
Is your LO still in the nicu? Maybe the next time you both visit you could get a nurse to have a word about the importance of healing your wound?

If i was there he'd get my boot up his butt! But no karate for you just yet!

 

[Charlie5]

No you are not alone. My DH lasted about 3 days being helpful and now whinges and complains when he has to do anything (shoping/dishwasher etc) ... Ummm welcome to my world and what I do everyday and he seems to feel he deserves a medal when he does do something (after moaning about it of course).

So if I try to do something (cause can't be doing with the moaning and huffing and puffing if he has to actually do something) I get you shouldn't be doing that, followed by don't you start complaining it hurts then if you're going to do stupid things like lifting that......gah!!!!

 

[youngwife20]

how inconsiderate i see your babys still in nicu too! how selfish to not support u hun you poor lady. tell him " do u want me to do everything then end up back in hosp because i am worn out i cant do this im in so much pain i have to pump do u know how hard it is to find energy to pump and then now u want me to do all this too i cant do it!!!!""" xxxxx i feel u hun i pumped for 6 months and it is no joke! u nneed support xx

 

[honeybee2]

DO NOT DO IT!!!!

My husband and family refused to let me pick anything up untill 6 weeks PP. Its very dangerous and can affect any future pregnancies and births! Your insides are still healing. How the hell did he qualify as an RN if he doesn't understand this?

 

[Liesje]

No you're not alone... When I finally snapped at OH he said "so don't do it then" as innocent as could be... Evidently he thought I just did all those unnessary things for my own amusement and they weren't important to him so he didn't do it.
Turns out his interpretation of support is to be ok with the house being a disaster lol

 

[Annie77]

Make a ticklist of everything he needs to do - he cannot ignore it when it is in black and white! Remember though, we all do things differently so he maybe feels differently about what needs done, when and how. A list from you will clarify this.

 

[jd11]

If he 'cant' see it needs cleaning they dont clean. it has taken a while but my DH now knows if it doesnt get done i will be going off my head. i would tell him he needss to pull his finger out his butt. u need to recover, u r under stress of having baby in NICU and all of that can decrease milk supply if u not resting properly. i had no choice with my last but to be cleaning etc so if u r going to keep doing it make sure u dont lift anything too heavy, take ur pain med before u get pain. Keep an eye on your blood flow as pushing yourself too much can increase flow and keep it going longer than it should.

 

[rjm09]

Black and white doesn't mean he'll see it! I have to do lists on a chalkboard in the kitchen....it just gets ignored!

You shouldn't lift or do those things, and you know it! Don't get frustrated and give in..keep telling him. As naggy as I get, it's the only way to get dh to things i cant.

I feel your frustration, least your husband is doing laundry! my dh has the corner of the room, on his side of the bed with like 4 loads of dirty clothes!! He can be so frickin lazy with the simplest things.

Hope your oh steps up and helps you out more. Good luck and hope you heal well

 

[Mummythree]

he should be helping.
my oh used to tell me off for lifting heavy things after my section i guess with three kids you just have to get on with it. wasnt told there was any risks just to try avoid it.

tell him to help you out

 

[babybambi2011]

if you cant do it, dont do it!! youve told him what you cant do and hes gotta help out for a bit! ive had to make a list of what needs doing, what i can do, and what he needs to do so i can do what i can, and then what he needs to do cuz i cant...... that way he can see that im doing something...... its horrible but men seem to want to get out of everything these days..... theres a reason why we have the babies