Support on giving up expressing :-(

[mum2bdec10]

Hi ladies. Looking for a bit of support really. I really wanted to BF my baby but due to being tongue tied and not being able to get it snipped until 3 weeks she can't and is now used to bottle but I do express too. I've never been able to keep up with her and she was having about 50/50 breastmilk to formula at first but now hubby is back at work I really struggle to find the time to express. Now she is only getting one feed of breast milk a day and that is with me struggling to find the time to express. I really want to stop formt sanity as I'm constantly thinking about it but my guilt won't let me. She is 5 weeks now and was 9lb 11oz born and is now just under 11lb so I knowshe is healthy. So fed up of this 'breast is best' thing as I really tried but its been so hard!

 

[babyfromgod]

hey hun well done for breastfeeding for this long. It is a hard decision to give up breastfeeding but i found i was so much more relaxed when i gave up, and i liked knowing how much milk he was getting. Do what makes you and baby the happiest. A happy mum = a happy baby

 

[winegums]

I went through similar with my son, i refused to give up and i ended up passing out with exhaustion one day. i became down and wouldn't stop expressing, even through the night trying to get more milk and i ended up spending all my time crying and faint from lack of sleep etc.

In the end if your unhappy and it's not working then breast isnt best! the happier you are the better it is for your LO. Formula isn't evil - it still gives your baby the nutrients he needs to grow and that is all that matters at the mo

I'm proud of how far i got and you should be proud of what you have done so far as well! but i have to admit i wish i had stopped sooner, im sure it would have been better for me and my boy but i was just too stubborn and ended up unhappy and exhausted

even if you change your mind you can attempt to relactate - contrary to myth many women do manage it successfully... and if not.. then who cares! formula is fine and your baby wont know or be upset about it - he will be happy he has got food and love

xxx

 

[bubbles123]

Your situation sounds exactly like mine! I too had a TT baby who wouldn't latch, had to eventually pay to have it done privately at 6 weeks and mix feed and express in the meantime as NHS were useless. By the time he had the snip he was so used to bottles he just screamed the place down whenever I put him near my breast and I never once got him to latch. I expressed every 3 hours or so until he was about 7 weeks. I stopped for two reasons really; my sanity being the first and for his sake being the second. I was cracking up; expressing every 3 hours meant washing and sterilising the pump, putting it together, spending 20mins+ expressing, putting that into a bottle, topping up with formula, cleaning the bottles etc etc then it was time to start all over again. I managed to keep it together OK when my mum was there to help me but as soon as she went home I just had no time for the baby - he would be lying in his bouncer and I was virtually ignoring him as I was permanently attached to a pump or sterilising bits of it. I stopped finally when I got my pump out of the cupboard one morning and burst into tears - I sobbed for three hours and OH had to take the baby and I went on to sleep for 12 hours. Time to stop methinks! I won't lie and say I don't feel bad for stopping. I have struggled with a lot of guilt. But I also believe I would have gone mad if I had carried on. Think of it this way. You tried. It's not our fault the NHS is **** at dealing with TT. I hope you can reach a decision that you are happy with. But please don't feel guilty.

 

[charlotte-xo]

i dont have any experience with bf but lots of hugs..i think your great to have got this far..youve got nothing to feel guilty for. Do what makes you happy your LO will benefit more from having a happy mummy im sure hun

 

[mum2bdec10]

Thanks everyone. I do think I will stop. I am so fed up of hearing what sounds like a frog suck in my boob and looking at my nipple in the tube and thinking it looks like a penis shagging it! If I stop at least I can get drunk enough to not get stressed about it lol

 

[Odd Socks]

oh hon,
please don't beat yourself up over it. i went through similar (bella wouldn't latch but had no tt) & expressed until 4 weeks. by which time, she was demanding more & more of my attention & i figured i had a choice - spend half an hour after every feed expressing (5 hours a day in total, this was with a hospital grade pump) & giving her maybe 3 expressed feeds each day, or stop & get to spend that time with her.
i made oh drive me to the hospital that night to return the pump so i had to stop. i felt horrible at first, but i began to enjoy my little girl, be able to go out & do stuff.
now she's 6 months old (tomorrow) & we have a whale of a time!
xx

 

[angel2010]

Hi hun, I was the same as you. I would get myself so stressed out trying to get him to sleep so i could pump. In the end all it did was frustate both of us. Happy mom= happy baby.

 

[charlotte-xo]

Thanks everyone. I do think I will stop. I am so fed up of hearing what sounds like a frog suck in my boob and looking at my nipple in the tube and thinking it looks like a penis shagging it! If I stop at least I can get drunk enough to not get stressed about it lol

ooh dear that cracked me up lol

i hope everything works out for you hun

 

[katrina1987]

I think you have done really well with what you have done, you can only express so much. My LO wouldn't latch on so I expressed for about 9-10 weeks and at night he would have to have 2formulas because I could not keep up with him. I was expressing every 1-2 hours. In the bath, out the bath, in bed, and when ever I could really. But it does get tiring and frustrating. Atleast your LO is getting some breast milk which is brilliant. i always said to myself breast is best, but I did what suited me and you have to do what suits you. I had to give up because my milk was running low and it was such hard work aswell. Do what you want not what other people say, aslong as LO is feeding wheres the problem. There will always be a big thing between BF and FF unfortunally. hope this is of some some help x

 

[ShanandBoc]

If u wanna chat, i know how u feel and im still BF!!! but even thinking about when im gonna switch i get all teary.

xxx

 

[bubbles123]

Thanks everyone. I do think I will stop. I am so fed up of hearing what sounds like a frog suck in my boob and looking at my nipple in the tube and thinking it looks like a penis shagging it! If I stop at least I can get drunk enough to not get stressed about it lol

Ha ha!, that's made me smile. Breast pumps are indeed evil. I think I may still start to shake when faced with one!

 

[angelic_one]

Hey hun I gave up breastfeeding about a week ago, have been expressing for the last week while my milk supply goes down gradually and it's finally started to go the last couple of days. Emily has got colic/constipation since I switched which makes me feel so, so bad, but she was sort of colicky before we switched so it's probably just coincidence. Despite this, I know I made the right choice, breastfeeding was basically sending me straight towards postnatal depression. I just wasn't coping at all, and now I've given up I've been so much more able to look after her. I used to dread feeding her, day or night..now I absolutely adore feeding her, even at 3a.m.

Anyway, just wanted to say that I'm in the same boat. Don't let people make you feel guilty. I don't feel guilty, I gave it my best shot but I had to do what was best for me and Emily. I just feel sad that it didn't work out.

At the end of the day, you'll know you've made the right decision for you and your baby. Anyone who judges you probably hasn't tried it themselves.

When I was tearing myself apart about giving up, I found a thread on a different website which discussed coping with giving up breastfeeding. It gave me the strength to quit with confidence. I bookmarked it and went back to it and read a couple of posts every time I started to feel guilty. Would you like me to PM it to you?

In my opinion and experience, breast isn't always best. Feeling like a sane human being who can cope with caring for a baby is best. Good luck with whatever you decide hun