Telling Parents

[BumbleBee]

Right.. im hoping to do it in the next few days.
Im just so scared its unbelievable !
After all the arguments about ruining my career and everything, i cant see how they can take this nicely. i cant handle being shouted at, my emotions are all over the place.

I definately want to tell my mom first.
I was thinking of writing a letter
but then would be very scared when she comes to em after reading it
so i tought about writing a letter and having her ope it whilst im here ?

or would she respect me more for telling her ? i know ill just burst out crying. Shes been all moody with me all day today about the college thing, i dont know what to do ):

arghhh

 

[angels330]

hi there,

sorry to hear your feeling scared about telling you parents, i know how you feel and its not nice! all i can suggest is telling whomever you think will come to an understanding and be able to support you with telling the other parent. for me, i told my mum first as i knew she'd be able to help when it came to telling my dad. if you feel you cant tell them in person, a letter is the next best thing. i dont think talking is necessarily giving your mum more respect - you need to tell them in the way that you feel comfortable. just remember that they will most likely need their "shock" time as i call it, but im sure they will come around and be there for you. hope everything works out xx

 

[Sponge]

im in the same position telling parents wise, but nothing to do with college. im 16 and really worrying how it'll turn out cuz its something u really cant predict. some days when me nd my mum are getting on ok i feel like blurting it out nd other days its like god, i aint ever gonna be able to tell her. i think my mum will come round after a bit (i hope anyway) but im not sure about my stepdad. i was thinking of calling my mum when i was somewhere else like my boyfriends or something but im not sure if she'd appreciate it more if it was face to face. i like you am not really feeling up to getting shouted it, cuz, its not gonna change anything really is it. i guess u know ur mum better than we do though so just do what you think's best. sometimes i test the water a bit, saying maybe, a friend thought she was preg, and see how my mum reacts but the other day when we went to the doctors they asked stuff like any children and mum goes "no thank god", so that really put me off:/ i hope you find the right way to tell 'em and that you have their support, sorry im not much use though.

 

[BumbleBee]

im in the same position telling parents wise, but nothing to do with college. im 16 and really worrying how it'll turn out cuz its something u really cant predict. some days when me nd my mum are getting on ok i feel like blurting it out nd other days its like god, i aint ever gonna be able to tell her. i think my mum will come round after a bit (i hope anyway) but im not sure about my stepdad. i was thinking of calling my mum when i was somewhere else like my boyfriends or something but im not sure if she'd appreciate it more if it was face to face. i like you am not really feeling up to getting shouted it, cuz, its not gonna change anything really is it. i guess u know ur mum better than we do though so just do what you think's best. sometimes i test the water a bit, saying maybe, a friend thought she was preg, and see how my mum reacts but the other day when we went to the doctors they asked stuff like any children and mum goes "no thank god", so that really put me off:/ i hope you find the right way to tell 'em and that you have their support, sorry im not much use though.

mines exactly the same ! When we see a teen parent programme on tele shes like ' atleast your more sensible than her' and all that, and yet she tells me im able to come to her about anything ? how can i feel comfortable telling her her 17 year old daughter is pregnant when she makes comments at other teens like that ? i dont know what to do

 

[Sponge]

yer i think it's pretty hypocritical really cuz they say "come to me about everything" and when you do they go nuts. i think she'll come around though, both of our mums, i hope. they probs will be really off with us for a little while cuz most people have said theirs did, but they eventually came around in the end and got excited. i think if they realise that ur gonna keep ur baby with or without their support then they'd rather help u than watch u struggle on ur own especially as (whether they like the idea or not at first) it is gonna be their grandchild. i saw some bloody horrible videos on abortion the other day and saved the links so i THINK if i tell my mum and she gives me any of the "you're getting an abortion" crap that i AM expecting, i will accidentally on purpose leave the window with it playing up one day when i go to the toilet or something cuz shes sooo nosey shes bound to look.

 

[BumbleBee]

yeah exactly

one thing i do know is that she wont push me into abortion
she is also against the fact
so that makes it kinda easier
but still hard

 

[Kris0309]

i know how you feel. Im 19 and starting my 3rd yr in college but i just transfered this summer. And Im know 10 weeks still havent told my mom. I am going to school next week and living there for 1 semester I think i will tell her when i am at school. but i am still afraid. Its not going to be easy but you will know when the timeis right to tell them atleast that is what i am hoping. good luck with everything and we are all here to support you.
Congrats on your pregnancy

 

[MoonMuffin]

I know how you feel, it was the scariest thing having to tell the folks. The best thing is to just flat out say it. It's a big cloud hanging over your head, and believe me, you'll be so glad to have gotten it over with once you've told them, it's a huge weight off your shoulders. Good luck!

 

[tasha41]

I'm in your same position 100%!! My parents paid my tuition for college, we can get a refund still, but they just keep asking me questions about school and I don't have any answers for them because I'm not ready to tell them the truth - that I'm not going to college because I'm pregnant (I'm not sure I'll EVER be *ready* to tell them this, but I'll have to do it really soon).

I've been working on a letter to my mom, I plan to tell her in person but give her the letter because it's a tough conversation to have, and there's a lot to be said... I found these tips on what to include in your talk/letter on a website somewhere so I've been building my letter around that! Here they are:

-How you became pregnant (i.e., you weren’t using protection, the protection failed, etc.)
- The decision you’ve made and how you came to it
- The research you’ve done on pregnancy (and abortion, if you’ve elected to go that route)
- If you’ve decided to carry the pregnancy, show them that you have some understanding as to what all is involved with prenatal care, self care, etc.
- Plans you have for parenting (i.e., are you going to get married or not, how will you raise the child, pay for its care, etc.)
- Plans you have for your future, including finishing school, working, etc. They will want to know about your plans with respect to the baby’s father as well.

I'm also going to write how I found out I was pregnant ie: I took two pregnancy tests that were positive and went to a walk-in clinic that confirmed my pregnancy and how far along I was by ultrasound... how far along I am is important I guess too, and of course things like how I'm sorry that I've hurt her, I love her, and that she shouldn't feel bad about this because it's not a negative reflection of her own parenting, etc.

Best of luck to you

 

[Sponge]

tasha41 - great idea, thanks!

 

[princess_vix]

Hey,I've also had to tell my parents that i am pregnant.

I was really scared but trust me it feels so much better to have it all out in the open plus your mom is only going to want to support you isn't she? she's hardly going to abandon you!

but it is going to be a big,big shock to her!!

but i'm sure she'll come round!

good luck!

x

 

[Amy]

Hey i was scared to tell my mum and im 23 so dont think its just cos your young your scared.
Your mum loves you and she may even already know cos my mum did, they sense these things. You will feel so much better once she knows, i know i did.
Good Luck
xxx

 

[alice&bump]

hey girls, i know tellin parents is the worst thing ever!! i think whateer age you are it is. i would like to advise against phoning your mum and tellin her tho, you know what it feels like to be told you're dumped over the phone?? well it'd be ten million times worse for your mum to be told her little girl's pregnant over the phone. i wish you all the best tho, you'll feel better when its out in the open xxxx

 

[xarlenex]

Have you told yet?

Just wanna offer one bit of advice, tell quick. Your mum will feel more hurt the longer you hold off. And if she gets mad and shouts, remind her she said you could talk to her about anything.

Good luck xx

 

[princess_x0]

Right.. im hoping to do it in the next few days.
Im just so scared its unbelievable !
After all the arguments about ruining my career and everything, i cant see how they can take this nicely. i cant handle being shouted at, my emotions are all over the place.

I definately want to tell my mom first.
I was thinking of writing a letter
but then would be very scared when she comes to em after reading it
so i tought about writing a letter and having her ope it whilst im here ?

or would she respect me more for telling her ? i know ill just burst out crying. Shes been all moody with me all day today about the college thing, i dont know what to do ):

arghhh

Hey huni aw i really feel for you.
I was kinda in your position, I found out on a wednesday but couldn't face telling my mum. I did tell my OH first but he wasn't impressed so it put a dampner on telling my mum.
But one day I was at college I text her asking if her bf was going to be over that night and she text back saying why? I just said I need to talk to you and she was like your pregnant arent you. I think they just know.
If I was you I would tell your mum straight out, I think if you did it face to face it would be easier.
Maybe go for a walk and tell her so she can't shout at you in public, and just give her time to cool off.
xxx