Babyherd2
Mum to Luke & an Angel
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2010
- Messages
- 245
- Reaction score
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Hi Girls,
Well I'm totally new to this section, I normally post in stillbirth, neonatal loss and SIDS section only, and have only had a brief look/nosey on here lately. Truth is... I have suffered a loss, but have been unsure whether I belonged in the TTC after a loss section because I'm unsure about whether I want to conceive again iykwim?? Confusing I know but My thoughs were that if it was mean't to be then it would happen so here I am. My reason for this is because I feel like I don't want to replace My Angel, or for Bradley to feel like I was trying to replace Him because I'm not. Thought that I would leave in the lap of the God's - No prevention, just devine intervention!! I'm not normally so religeous or philosophical but figure that there must have been a reason to take My Son and therefore if I am mean't to conceive again then that's the way it was supposed to be!!? I Didn't want to post in my usual section for fear of upsetting anyone. So here goes... I lost my 2nd Son Bradley on October 24th 2009. After a very normal and uncomplicated pregnancy, unexpectedly He was born sleeping at 28 weeks and 4 days after I suffered a complete placental abruption - He weighed 2lb 15oz and was perfect from head to toe ( No reason for the abruption was found - was told that it has to be put down to a 'chance' catastrophic event that affects only 1% of pregnancies ) so..here I am terrified to test. Period was due yesterday and I'm normally bang on time and so far no sign. No usual cramps or mood swings. I think I know deep down that I'm pregnant (could be wrong? ) but just don't know how to react- I feel so confused and guilty? My Husband is going through Hell with work at the moment and fears he might loose his job. Not that it makes any odds, but he has quite a good job and prides himself on being able to provide for his Family. so I don't dare tell Him that I suspect I'm pregnant again. I know he'll be pleased as we've had this conversation before, but I know he'll be terrified if we get a BFP. I just don't want to add to His stress given His situation at work, also I'm terrified about another pregnancy incase the same was to happen again ( apparently we have a 1 in 10 chance of recurrance? ) and that petrifies me as I know another loss will kill Me, but at the same time I want to know that it's right to take a test and yeah a BFP would be great!! HELP I'M A MESS!!!
Well I'm totally new to this section, I normally post in stillbirth, neonatal loss and SIDS section only, and have only had a brief look/nosey on here lately. Truth is... I have suffered a loss, but have been unsure whether I belonged in the TTC after a loss section because I'm unsure about whether I want to conceive again iykwim?? Confusing I know but My thoughs were that if it was mean't to be then it would happen so here I am. My reason for this is because I feel like I don't want to replace My Angel, or for Bradley to feel like I was trying to replace Him because I'm not. Thought that I would leave in the lap of the God's - No prevention, just devine intervention!! I'm not normally so religeous or philosophical but figure that there must have been a reason to take My Son and therefore if I am mean't to conceive again then that's the way it was supposed to be!!? I Didn't want to post in my usual section for fear of upsetting anyone. So here goes... I lost my 2nd Son Bradley on October 24th 2009. After a very normal and uncomplicated pregnancy, unexpectedly He was born sleeping at 28 weeks and 4 days after I suffered a complete placental abruption - He weighed 2lb 15oz and was perfect from head to toe ( No reason for the abruption was found - was told that it has to be put down to a 'chance' catastrophic event that affects only 1% of pregnancies ) so..here I am terrified to test. Period was due yesterday and I'm normally bang on time and so far no sign. No usual cramps or mood swings. I think I know deep down that I'm pregnant (could be wrong? ) but just don't know how to react- I feel so confused and guilty? My Husband is going through Hell with work at the moment and fears he might loose his job. Not that it makes any odds, but he has quite a good job and prides himself on being able to provide for his Family. so I don't dare tell Him that I suspect I'm pregnant again. I know he'll be pleased as we've had this conversation before, but I know he'll be terrified if we get a BFP. I just don't want to add to His stress given His situation at work, also I'm terrified about another pregnancy incase the same was to happen again ( apparently we have a 1 in 10 chance of recurrance? ) and that petrifies me as I know another loss will kill Me, but at the same time I want to know that it's right to take a test and yeah a BFP would be great!! HELP I'M A MESS!!!
