Terrified

[Scared_x]

Hi, I'm new to the forum.

Erm, where do I start?

Right, well I'm a college student from the midlands. Been with my boyfriend a short time of 3months and after suspision, this morning I took a ClearBlue test and it revealed my fear...positive.

I've just turned 18 and my Mum is aware of my situation. Willing to support me as she may be, I'm still a 18year old girl with a 20year old boyfriend.

Haven't been this scared in my life before. Though it's early to talk about it, me and my fella have talked about kids before and honestly can imagine having them. Regullary we talk infact, maybe every day or so. But in 5years, not 7months...2months gone as I've missed 2 periods, my last being late November.

Please, help, advise. Whatever, is desperately needed.

How a little stick can change my life is scary.

When it's born it'd be August, I'd of finished college. But, money. Everything.

 

[nikky0907]

I was 18 when I got pregnant too. And single!

Honestly, I know exactly how you feel,I was scared beyond my mind when I got that famous second line.
I'm in university and I just couldn't have imagined having kids at that point...but now my daughter is 4 months and life is good. I made a plan for myself and I'm sticking to it.

You are actually quite lucky, you have the so much needed support from your mom and boyfriend and I truly belive that you will find a way and make it work.
I'm not gonna lie,it's hard and you can say goodbye to your old life but you gain something new and wonderful at the same time.

Please don't hesitate asking any question or advice.Good luck!

 

[pinkmummy]

hun.

You need to do what's best for you. There are plenty of mums on here who have had children young and they have managed well for themselves.

I found out I was pregnant on my 18th birthday my partner was 20 and we had been together about 1 1/2 years. We had never spoke about having kids although he knew I wanted them in the future.

He was working and was getting about £800 a month (which is quite good) I was living in a 2 bedroomed upstairs flat and getting income support due to being at college still.

I eventually had to look for a house as an upstairs flat with a baby was just a no no plus OH needed to move in with me too.

We found a 3 bedroomed house and he moved in. We struggled by with money, only just being able to afford the bills but we managed.

Now we have been together nearly 4 1/2 years, our daughter is just gone 2 years old, we have another little one due next month, my partner is now in a better higher paid job and I also get maternity pay.

Sometimes it is hard for us to scrape by some months like when we needed a new car as the pushchair wouldn't fit in the boot of our old one, or when we needed to get a new kitchen carpet due to Caitlin spilling paint on it etc.

It sounds as though you have the support of your mum already, so if you are wanting to keep the baby then you have plenty of support, but ideally you and your BF both need to sit down and talk about it together and see what you both want to do.

When I had Caitlin I didn't get any maternity pay or anything as I was at college too, when Caitlin was 8 months old I went and got a job to help pay the bills etc.

whatever you decide to do hun I'm sure everyone will support you

 

[LilMama2be]

I'm glad your mom is supportive.
You have some time to think and decide what you want to do.

I dont really know what else to say.
But congrats on your little miracle, and good luck!

 

[NotSoWorried]

Hiya.
My old account stopped working, so re-registered.

So, an update awaits.

Me and my bestfriend talked in detail for a few days, none stop. I wrote a text out to her what I was going to forward on to my boyfriend, just as I was gettin the jitters about doing so. The phone rolled off my pillow and sent it'self (it's a touch phone, therefore I blame 21st century technology.) His original responce was 'If this is a joke, please please just tell me now' The next few text's were pretty much the same, him trying to make me admit it was a joke and I was infact a sick cow for making up such a story.

Eventually, within an hour or so he understood this was infact real and the biggest thing to ever enter in his life. Mine too. He asked about abortion, what it entails etc. I enquired and originally for a day or so, that was what we planned to do. We were too young and hadn't been together long enough.

A further day passed and that's when our conversations got more indept, beforelong revealing neither of us wanted to abort our child but it was our first reactions after the shock. Emotionally ready we were not. Carrying on talking, we both reassured each other of the love we have and share, that love created a life. So who's the take that away?

Near enough a week later, we're happy with our choice. We've started planning and though we know it's going to get harder week by week, we'll both be there for each other. Even down to him being warned that I think he'll go off with someone alot thinner, not 18 and pregnant...I was having a downer for a day.

Last Wednesday I went to the doctors, though I'd taken three previous tests I just wanted confirmation. She did as I requested, but the same result came up. Two oh so lovely dominant blue lines. We worked out the dates, and believe we concieved the weekend of the 12th December. Though, in doctor language this means I'm already 2weeks gone by that point, which I must admit I don't understand. All-in-all I'll be 9weeks gone on Thursday. Baby is due on the 5th September, ironically the day my boyfriend was due too.

My Dad found out a few days ago, initially he stopped talking to me. Talked through my Mum to me though. Then yesterday we talked properly about it. Firstly him calling me an embarrasment, but him then seein how that affected me. I think he quickly regretted doing so. My boyfriend has told his family and sister, all which are supporting us. As are my parents. I'm yet to tell my two older and very protective brothers. Not sure how i'm going to approach that...surgestions would be a great help.

Thankyou

 

[pinkmummy]

hun, Im gald to hear its finally working out for you

I think all parents say things they don't mean when they initially find out, especially when they have high expectations for you. I know that OH's mum and dad wanted him to go to Uni and have a really good job and settle down properly before he had kids, and when we told them I was pregnant his mum immediately told me to get an abortion as it would ruin both our lives! Needless to say I didn't and she is the best thing to ever happen to us!

and good luck xxx

 

[bootyb]

Hiya hun glad that u have sorted things out nd wanna keep your little miracle... wen i found out i was pregnant i was scared nd in denial for a while.... but after crying nd tlkin to a couple of people i decided i wanted to keep baby.... i made this choice w/o consulting my mum or other important people in my life because i didnt want them to influence my decision nd then l8r on blame it on them if i couldnt cope with consequences. I told mu mum bout a week after i had found out... intially was was very disappointed nd angry... for a while didnt tlk bout it.... but there was qalot of stress on my family apart frm me being 18 at the time nd pregnant nd OH at the time saying he didnt want the baby nd so broke up wit me.... but now even thought im struggling jugglin eveything... ii wudnt change the decision i made regardless of wot has happened, i.e. losing alot of people nd my life being completely turned 180 degress. My mum has now accepted she will be a grandma at 42 lol nd is very supportive it will be hard but wit fmaily nd friends nd your OH by your side it will work. good luck hun

 

[Kimboowee]

Glad you got the support from both your families! My dad was the same for a few days, think he was just shocked that his little girl wasn't so little anymore! Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy!! xx

 

[Pinkgirl]

Hey hun
Glad things are sorting itself out. I am sure in time your mum and dad will definatley be there to support you 100% of the way. Where abouts from the midlands are you? I live in the midlands too. xx

 

[NotSoWorried]

Thanks everyone for your support and advise.

Anyone experienced telling two very protective older brothers? One whom still thinks you're a virgin too...Doomed realistically

Pinkgirl, I live in Telford. You?

 

[rose19]

Can sympathise with the older brother situation, but I only have one! At first he was horrified and called me everyname under the sun, but now he's come round. It just takes them a bit of time to realise you're not that little anymore! good luck with the pregnancy xxx

 

[NotSoWorried]

Update

Saturday I woke up from a very restless night sleep in absolute agony. My boyfriend (the daddy) had stayed around, so him being near was helpful to say the least. The pain continued, lower abdominal pain which also stretched across my stomach, higher. Moving hurt, rolling on my side was murder. So I just ended up laying there, in pain.

Beforelong, my boyfriend decided to miss football (I was in shock!) because he couldn't leave me in the state I was. Within half an hour or so I was taken into hospital. Typical Saturday, nothing went smoothly. I had to give a water sample, results came back saying I had a fairly bad UTI. But, because I'd almost fainted and other signs. They were worried it was a Ectopic Pregnancy. At this time, I could hardly pronounce it let alone know what the hell it meant. Eventually I was told.

I was given a 7day course of anti-biotics which are massive things to swallow. But has to be done.

I was also given an emergency scan for Monday (Just gone.) So again, my boyfriend stayed at me. Which involved missing work too. I did alot of research on ectopic pregnancy, which probably wasn't the best of things to do. I ended up fretting constinately about it, but understandably. The scan came along, though I was previously told it wouldn't be a normal scan just one looking at the tubes. In which I was told wrong, it was infact a normal scan. Holding my fella's hand, I was told to look at the screen to see if I could see a flicker going none-stop. That, I could. As could he. We were then told the baby was in the right place, was fine and the flicker was the heart beating away. She advised doing an internal scan too, so we went ahead with that. I honestly can't recall feeling so happy!

They also found a 3cm cyst, which I'm worried about. Anybody experienced them before? She insured me it'll hopefully be gone by my 12week scan but if not, they'll have to keep a very close eye on it.

Oh, and I told my brothers! Deary me.

Sorry about the essay. x

 

[Corinna]

Hi hun.

So glad that things worked out well for you. I have had 2 ectopic pregnancies in the past and they aren't nice so I'm so happy for you that your little bean is in the right place and growing nicely.

I just wanted to say also that although life with a baby will be hard, & it will be, don't underestimate that, life will also be so lovely. I had my daughter at 16. She is now 15 years old and is the most beautiful, funny, clever girl and although it was really, really hard at times, I am so proud of my lovely girl. Its great too because we're more than Mum & daughter. We're friends too cos I'm only 16 years older than her. She comes to me for makeup advice and she even borrows my clothes! (& I NEVER get them back! ) We always go out shopping together and have nice girly nights in with a DVD & pizza when her Dad is out with his friends. So, you have a lovely future together with your little lady or little man.

Good luck with everything hun. I am sure you will make a wonderful Mum & I look forward to hearing all about your new arrival in Sept.

Corinna xx

 

[NotSoWorried]

Thankyou so much!

I'm glad you have such a close relationship with your daughter, I have a fairly close relationship with my Mum and always hoped I'd have the same with my future children.

It was such a huge relief when she told me the baby was growing in the right place x