scaredmmy2b
Mommy to a perfect son!
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Here I am finally getting around to writing my birth story cuddked up in the recliner with my perfect son and a laptop.
At 5:30am friday february 17th, 3 days overdue, I arrived at the hospital to be induced. I was already 3cm dialated 80% effaced and had been in early labor for over two weeks. The midwife and doctor were suprised i hadnt gone in to labor days before. I was signed in and asked to give a urine sample and change into a hospital gown. I was hooked up to a bag of fluids and given iv antibiotics for strep b. I went my whole pregnancy wanting a natural birth with no pain medications. I was disapointed that I was strapped to monitors and iv bags already. I was started on pitocin at 7:03am and it was not long before the contractions started. My OH was being excellent and getting his hand squezed to death. He never asked me if I needed pain relief which was just what I wanted and he was very supportive of my plans to birth with no pain medication. I was handling the contractions well and they were coming ever 10 minutes. At 8:03 to my suprise the OB came in and broke my water. I was 4cm then. It was terribly unpleasant to get my waters broke and left me nervous and shaking. She inserted an internal contraction monitor. I was told I could not get up and was made to use a bedpan when I had to go pee. It was embarrassing and uncomfortable. I had a very strong contraction in the middle of using the bedban and lost more of my waters. Contractions were now coming every 2 minutes very strong and I was finding them hard to handle. I was considering epidural. Contractions began to come so strong and frequent that I felt like I wasnt getting any break in between. And i was confined to a bed. I then failed myself and ,y plans and asked for an epidural. The nurse came in and gave me phenergan and some sort of iv pain medication that made me feel very "high" and almpst put me to sleep. This was at 10:15am. About 20 minutes later I recieved the epidural. Jaxan was showing signs of distress so the doctor came i and put a monitor on his head to keep track of his heartrate. I was feeling very sick at this time. I was given an oxygen mask and told I had to lay on my right side because laying on my left seemed to distress Jaxan more. At 12:00 they came in and checked my temperature and it was 103.0 degrees F. They begin to worry at this time and I was told that if I failed to preogress or my temperature didnt go down within an hour I would have an ermergency c-section. This almost sent me into a panic attack. At one i was only 5cm and still had a fever of 102. They decided to wait another hour. At 1:00 I was 7cm so they decided to wait and the OB went back to the office. I was feeling very sick and my heartrate was 195 and Jaxans was 215. I was very scared. The nurse called the doctor back and after attemting to put fluid back in my uterus and making me try to push exuasted at 9cm with no success it was decided baby needed to get out now. I was so scared. The nurse warned me that when c-section was decided everything would be rush rush and go fast and to not be scared. I was told there was no time to top off my epidural and I would have to be put to sleep. I was quickly swamped by nursed and prepped for the OR. I was balling my eyes out because I would miss my babys birth and i was terrified as i have never had surgery. I was rolled to the OR and told to move to the operating table and i was shouting at them that i couldnt move my legs how could i move from bed to operating table. At that time my lovely nurse arrived to aid me and the last thing i remember is the OB saying no dont put her to sleep til i am ready to cut and immediately drifting away. Next thing i know i am being moved back to the bed and am screaming where is my baby and balling my eyes out. They tell me my baby is fine and I tell them to close the nursery curtain. They took me to recovery where I had to stay alone for two hours. I was in the most pain I have ever been in in my life. Nothing they gave me seemed to touch it and I was worried i wouldnt be able to hold my baby. I didnt get to see him for four hours after he was born. He had a fever when he was born.
My beautiful perfect baby arrived at 3:38pm weighing 7lb 4.5oz and 19.5in long. He is so much more perfect than i could have ever imagined and we bonded immediately. Despite being away from each other for four hours he breastfeeds like a champ. We stayed in the hopsital three nights and then went home. I am really struggling with the way I gave birth. My incision is hurting a lot all the time and I thing i pulled a muscle moving wrong because today I cant even move to get out of bed or a chair by myslelf. It was a very traumatizing experience and I cant get over the fact that a bunch of people got to see my baby and even take his picture through the nurdery before they closed the curtain and I got to see him. Also it is really taking a toll on my that I couldnt push him out and that i got pain meds, i feel like such a failure.
But i love my baby with all my heart and it is all worth it for him.
sorry it is so long. will update with pics as soon as i can.
thanks for reading if you got this far.
At 5:30am friday february 17th, 3 days overdue, I arrived at the hospital to be induced. I was already 3cm dialated 80% effaced and had been in early labor for over two weeks. The midwife and doctor were suprised i hadnt gone in to labor days before. I was signed in and asked to give a urine sample and change into a hospital gown. I was hooked up to a bag of fluids and given iv antibiotics for strep b. I went my whole pregnancy wanting a natural birth with no pain medications. I was disapointed that I was strapped to monitors and iv bags already. I was started on pitocin at 7:03am and it was not long before the contractions started. My OH was being excellent and getting his hand squezed to death. He never asked me if I needed pain relief which was just what I wanted and he was very supportive of my plans to birth with no pain medication. I was handling the contractions well and they were coming ever 10 minutes. At 8:03 to my suprise the OB came in and broke my water. I was 4cm then. It was terribly unpleasant to get my waters broke and left me nervous and shaking. She inserted an internal contraction monitor. I was told I could not get up and was made to use a bedpan when I had to go pee. It was embarrassing and uncomfortable. I had a very strong contraction in the middle of using the bedban and lost more of my waters. Contractions were now coming every 2 minutes very strong and I was finding them hard to handle. I was considering epidural. Contractions began to come so strong and frequent that I felt like I wasnt getting any break in between. And i was confined to a bed. I then failed myself and ,y plans and asked for an epidural. The nurse came in and gave me phenergan and some sort of iv pain medication that made me feel very "high" and almpst put me to sleep. This was at 10:15am. About 20 minutes later I recieved the epidural. Jaxan was showing signs of distress so the doctor came i and put a monitor on his head to keep track of his heartrate. I was feeling very sick at this time. I was given an oxygen mask and told I had to lay on my right side because laying on my left seemed to distress Jaxan more. At 12:00 they came in and checked my temperature and it was 103.0 degrees F. They begin to worry at this time and I was told that if I failed to preogress or my temperature didnt go down within an hour I would have an ermergency c-section. This almost sent me into a panic attack. At one i was only 5cm and still had a fever of 102. They decided to wait another hour. At 1:00 I was 7cm so they decided to wait and the OB went back to the office. I was feeling very sick and my heartrate was 195 and Jaxans was 215. I was very scared. The nurse called the doctor back and after attemting to put fluid back in my uterus and making me try to push exuasted at 9cm with no success it was decided baby needed to get out now. I was so scared. The nurse warned me that when c-section was decided everything would be rush rush and go fast and to not be scared. I was told there was no time to top off my epidural and I would have to be put to sleep. I was quickly swamped by nursed and prepped for the OR. I was balling my eyes out because I would miss my babys birth and i was terrified as i have never had surgery. I was rolled to the OR and told to move to the operating table and i was shouting at them that i couldnt move my legs how could i move from bed to operating table. At that time my lovely nurse arrived to aid me and the last thing i remember is the OB saying no dont put her to sleep til i am ready to cut and immediately drifting away. Next thing i know i am being moved back to the bed and am screaming where is my baby and balling my eyes out. They tell me my baby is fine and I tell them to close the nursery curtain. They took me to recovery where I had to stay alone for two hours. I was in the most pain I have ever been in in my life. Nothing they gave me seemed to touch it and I was worried i wouldnt be able to hold my baby. I didnt get to see him for four hours after he was born. He had a fever when he was born.
My beautiful perfect baby arrived at 3:38pm weighing 7lb 4.5oz and 19.5in long. He is so much more perfect than i could have ever imagined and we bonded immediately. Despite being away from each other for four hours he breastfeeds like a champ. We stayed in the hopsital three nights and then went home. I am really struggling with the way I gave birth. My incision is hurting a lot all the time and I thing i pulled a muscle moving wrong because today I cant even move to get out of bed or a chair by myslelf. It was a very traumatizing experience and I cant get over the fact that a bunch of people got to see my baby and even take his picture through the nurdery before they closed the curtain and I got to see him. Also it is really taking a toll on my that I couldnt push him out and that i got pain meds, i feel like such a failure.
But i love my baby with all my heart and it is all worth it for him.
sorry it is so long. will update with pics as soon as i can.
thanks for reading if you got this far.
congratulations on being a mom!
