The worst experience...

[rockstarlove9]

So im not sure where this is supposed to be posted, I kind of just wanted to vent/grieve and maybe give a cautionary tale. So I was so excited I finally got my BFP but I knew something wasnt right, at 16 dpo i figured it would be a blazing positive but it wasnt. At 16 Dpo there was still only a faint positive line. That should have been my first inclination that something wasnt right. I insisted on a quantitative beta. My first beta level was only 14 which was super low and also an indication something was wrong because the hpt I had taken was a 25 miu test so that meant my level had went down from the day before when i took the test. They told me not to worry that they just wanteed me to have my levels rechecked in 48 hrs. The night before my second test my back started hurting. I have thin pcos and a tilted uterus so I was always warned that I would feel my problems in my back first. At first I thought ok because i had been bunched up on the couch, but when straightening out didnt help the back pain and i noticed a few hours had passed and it was still hurting that there was a problem. After work and a whole day of really bad back pain I went and got my levels drawn again. They were down to six. So my miscarriage was eminent at that point. The next morning at about five or six in the morning I had pain that started at my uterus and seem to radiate around my whole lower abdomen area through my back. They were contraction like coming for like five minutes and coming every ten minutes or something. I guess even at 4 weeks 6 days your body still has to expel whatever started to form. Luckily the physical pain only lasted a few hours and im still bleeding. Except for the really contraction like cramps at first its just like a really bad period with a lot of tissue and clots. Its crazy because I only knew of my pregnancy for a week and even though I felt something was wrong from the moment I found out I still bonded with my little nugget even though it was only there for a short period of time. I was so excited and now im so scared to ever try this again. I have been through a mc before but this one just seemed so much emotionally painful. Perhaps it was because I was trying. All I know is, is that I never want to go through this again. Ladies if you feel something is wrong, i urge you to investigate. I mean im sure there was nothing I could do to make this bean stick but i feel like kind of knowing that the mc was coming helped me deal with it alot better than if I had just left it alone. I dont think Im gonna continue to ttc again. I dont think I can go through another loss...

 

[ms sunshine]

sorry for your loss i had a cp last year i had a bfp tested next day nothing and i sort of knew something was wrong. then a week and a half later ( would have been 5 1/2 weeks) i lost it, same as you and had 2 really bad bouts of dizzyness where i thought i was going to collapse.

i will give you the advice my doc gave me as maybe some day you will want to try again - dont test early. in fact she said test when you are 6 weeks late as you are passed the worst part of first tri and its better to not know for sure if you get af. and thats what i did for nearly a year while i recovered from it. this is the first cycle i tested early. and to be honest i might just stick with what she said . i think it makes ttc easier. big hugs x

 

[Pne1985]

So sorry this is happening. Like my doctor said to me, " a loss is a loss." I had a blighted ovum back in October, they found it when I went in for my first ultrasound. They said maybe I ovulated later but I know I didn't. I know they were just trying to be optimistic.
I almost felt like something wasn't right from the beginning. My mother in law would ask how I was feeling and if I felt any different and I always told her I didn't even feel pregnant. Little did I know, I really wasn't bearing a child, just 2 sacs. We didn't tell anyone this time except parents because I wanted to wait for an ultrasound, and I'm glad we didn't. We don't talk about it still. My first pregnancy, our son is aost 3, we told everyone that day I got a +.
But like you said, know your body and take control.
My husband didn't want to try right after, but I did. We officially started somewhat "trying" this month.
I cried for a few days... A lot. When I was actually miscarrying, I didn't want to be around even my husband and child. I felt horribly depressed. But after I passed what I think was the placenta. I felt better emotionally. And I didn't cry or couldn't cry one more time after that. I blamed my hormones, although my doctor said it wasn't that. I just kept telling myself that I was having it way better than the people that lose their children farther along in pregnancy, or after they have given birth. And that helped me deal with it.
I pray you have a quick recovery, and keep your chin up!! You're not alone.

 

[BSelck24]

You know your body best and if you need a break from TTC then you take it!! Miscarriages are hard no matter how far along you are and for me personally, I know I felt it was me against the world. I felt that my husband, my parents and my friends just couldn't understand. I cried, a lot, and spent time alone. Just know that we are here for you and support your decisions and will chat at anytime!!