Thinking about ttc #4 as other children older 37 yrs feeling unsure :/

[Apple111]

Hi all , I'm in middle of big decision, I have two older children, 18 and 13 from my previous marriage. I have a two year old lo with my new partner of 5 years. I'm 37 next month and my partner is 44. All children boys all doing wonderful. I've just started to think recently that my clock is starting to tick a little. Im a little concerned that my youngest will soon be on his own as the others do their own teenage thing and it might be nice for him to have a sibling more his age to grow up with. Although it would be lovely go have a little girl it would also be great for my little boy to have a little brother.
To be honest i am also a little nervous about the thought of giving birth again as as quite traumatic last time so this needs considering as well. If took me a good couple of weeks to feel anything like normal. Lots to think about I'm contacting birth after thoughts to go through my last birth I can't remember that much only they had to bring a lot of people in and I really struggled to push him out ��
So little apprehensive x thanks for reading x I just found this site so helpful with last pregnancy and a loss on 2012 ��

 

[Sunshine14]

Good luck Apple whatever you decide xxx personally I think if you can handle the anxiety of the thought of another difficult labour (keep in mind it may not be as you can talk it through with ur healthcare provider & plan to prevent same happening again) then you should go for it. I think 37 is still very young maternity wise & fingers xd all will go well if u do decide to have another xxx good luck hun......... I'm currently almost 10 weeks & praying it's still a healthy little baby (saw hb at 7+2) & I have struggled with losses over the past two years but they will all be worth it if my LO keeps growing strong! 😃

 

[Apple111]

Hi sunshine , thank u for your comment. Sorry to hear about your losses but got everything crossed for your growing little baba xx I know how nerve wrecking it is after mc. I have a couple of friends that have had multiple mc in short space of time. Two of them now have beautiful little girls. Good luck at your next scan,

I'll be interested to see what they say about by last birth. It just seemed to take me a few weeks to get over it, maybe like my body was in shock or something, which I suppse it was. I'm thinking towards probably trying again, I'll just try and get as much info as possible and plan where I can x
Take care
Apple

 

[Sunshine14]

Thanks for your kind words Apple and the positive stories about ur friends hun. It's great to hear good stories. I have to say I'm finding it v hard waiting until 1 Sept for my appointment - I haven't really acknowledged the pg yet in case it's gone by 12 weeks. I don't want to get my hopes up yet in case something goes wrong - horrible to be in such limbo.

I had a v difficult third labour (my first two were calm home births and v v quick births) but my third had to be in hospital as I had too much fluid around the baby and they were worried about the cord gushing out first with the waters and cutting off the oxygen to her. I ended up prepped for an emergency csection and having a major panic attack on the table (I cannot bear hospitals lol) as there were 12 people in gowns around me and I couldn't handle it and had to be given oxygen. They were trying to give me an epidural and I was majorly freaking out and then my little sweetie pie decided they weren't cutting her mummy open and safely made her entrance bless her. The whole experience was v v scary after my safe home births. The Head of Midwives came out to see me at home afterwards and we talked through the birth and it was so helpful just to talk it through. I was also able to thank the anaethatist who had shoved the oxygen at me as I remember being so freaked out that without the oxygen I would have flipped off the table and likely hurt me and the baba. I just couldn't handle being on a slab of concrete after two home births!! It was a crazy experience but afterwards I was just so grateful that me and my little girl were fine. I think if you talk it through as much as you need to hun then you should be able to start to get over it. Also if u do decide to have another u can tell the doctors/midwives about ur bad experience & try to make sure it doesn't happen again! Not sure if any of that helps and sorry to be rambling on but I do think talking about a negative experience helps to deal with it hun xxx

 

[Apple111]

Thanks for message and u r not rambling haha��. I think these sites are great as they give us the opportunity to discuss our worries and concerns with people that have been through similar. I really have everything crossed for your next scan , I remember how scary it is, I'm not really religious but I did pray before those scans !! but seeing that heartbeat is the best thing in the world . I was exactly the same though, wouldn't let myself get attached so totally understand.
Good luck hon, I'll keep popping on so might chat again. I'll update with our decision ��
Take care
Apple x