Thinking ahead to a possible next time!

[katy1310]

I had to have Sophie by emergency c-section at 27 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia. I've had a chat with the obstetrician about the risks of having another baby, and he's told us that we should be ok to go ahead with another pregnancy, with all sorts of monitoring, and that I'd have to have another section.

The first time round, with it all happening so quickly and everything being so scary, I didn't have a chance to think about anything. The section itself was fine, but the day after has got me thinking.

I was in HDU for the first night and the full first day. Sophie was born on the Sunday afternoon, and on the Monday morning, two women came round doing bed baths. This was the most humiliating thing I have ever experienced and I was just wondering if it's normal practice after a section, or is it just that I was too ill to get up and get a shower myself? I had been one hour from organ failure when Sophie was born and was not allowed up for a couple of days, apart from to go in a wheelchair to NICU to see Sophie.

I wouldn't have minded so much if they were discreet about it, but they kept leaving me completely uncovered while they talked to DH and they weren't washing me at the time - I just felt like I was lying there totally exposed and completely helpless and I'd HATE for that to happen again! I'm a very very shy and modest person, and I know they've seen it all before but I felt awful about it being done that way - I was so humiliated. Also, when they finished, they asked DH to get my own nightshirt out of my bag so I could wear that rather than the hospital gown, and I asked him if he could get my bra as well, but they said "Oh you don't need to put that on" and wouldn't let me I hate not wearing a bra, I just feel all self conscious without one, especially when I had my parents and FIL coming in later that day, and I had to go to NICU in a wheelchair to see Sophie. I insisted on putting my dressing gown on for that, but they weren't going to let me! I wouldn't have been QUITE so bothered if they'd let me wear a bra, but there was no way I was going all the way to another part of the hospital with just my nightshirt, no bra and no dressing gown!

I know I'm maybe being daft, but I am wondering if I could have refused a full bed bath (I can understand the need to keep the wound area and down below clean, with the bleeding etc but I hated my top half being left with no towels covering me while they chatted with DH and I kept pulling the towels over me but they just moved them and continued chatting and not washing. I was miserable). If we are lucky enough to have another baby, could I refuse a full bed bath, and could I insist on wearing my bra afterwards?

Sorry, I know this is a long pathetic post, but I have so many issues about the whole thing that I am trying to work my way through, and this is just one of them!

xx

 

[BlueHadeda]

I'm not in the same country, so I'm sure hospital procedures differ. But I know exactly how you feel! I too hate that first bath. I'm also very modest and private. Unfortunately, in our hospital, they do that bath before you're allowed to stand up after a c-section. The only good thing about ours, is that they tell the husband to leave first. The worst thing is that they're sometimes very heavy-handed and it hurst me absolutely terribly to have to be turned around so that they can wash my back. Ouch! NOT looking foward to that bath.

You must remember that you have every right to refuse anything you want! Nothing can be forced upon you. I always feel much better after the washing, especially "down there", so I try to bite my teeth and just wish it over quickly. And of course you can put on whatever clothes you want!!! DON'T let them tell you No! I even once asked my husband to hand them my normal clothes. They were protesting that it'll get bloody and I should be in a nighty, but I just refused and that was that. YOU need to be comfortable, not them!

Good luck with the next time! I hope it will be less traumatic and that you can keep baby in longer.

 

[scarlett_s]

Wow I have had to c-sections and my first one my kidneys started shutting down due to Pre-eclempsia. Anyway I did not have any kind of bed bath. I was encouraged to have a shower by myself like the day or so after having DD. With DD I don't think I stood up until the day after I had her (when they removed the catheter) with DS I think I stood up the same day I had him but later in the night. I also had my own shower with DS.

 

[Laraa]

I had an emergency section with my daughter and was told that i needed to shower on my own before being allowed to go home. Ive not heard or experienced a bed bath. I would be more firmer next time i mean i remember the nurse telling me to have a shower and i remember thinking where the hell is the shower. She didnt even have the decency to tell me or take me to the shower. Another nurse i remember put my painkillers at the other side of my bed when my spinal hadnt worn off, i couldnt move. I had a right go at her some of these people! You have to speak up hun. xx

 

[tristansmum]

irstly i would say they gave you a bed bath because of being ill not having had a section. I was up 12 hours after mine and in the shower on my own. They only time i was given any sort of wash was a few hours after the section a lovely nurse tidied and freshed me up down below and changed my pad.

Secondly you can refuse anything in hospital... especially something as non essential as a bed bath. I'm a nurse in an NHS hospital and i can just imagine what happened to you. Unfortuately although there are some amazing nurses who put people's dignity first there are also some who are very thoughtless and forget that its a person lying infront of them. They should have asked you IF you wanted a wash, then they should have asked your DH to leave unless you specifically asked for him to stay. They should have kept the parts of you covered that weren't being washed and they should have been respectiful and not chatted to your DH while you lay there exposed. I often tell women they dont need to wear their bra but i certainly would never stop someone.

Basically it should not have happened like that. Its very hard to stand up for yourself when you are ill and feeling vulnerable. Next time make sure your husband knows what you want and get him to be your advocate and voice. Assuming you have a straight forward section there is no reason they would even offer you a bed bath. And remembr you can always decline it if they do. xxx

 

[sapphire20]

I had an emergency c section with my daughter and from what I know it is normal practice, I was asked and refused liked with you I think it's quite humiliating and something you associate with old people! But they were quite pushy on it and kept asking like no one had ever refused before!

I think an elective section is alot different from an emergency! You aren't really thinking with an emergency as your head is all over the place and your not really clued up on exactly what's happened! But with an elective you will know exactly what's going to happen and more in control and be able to express what you want and dont want x

 

[princess.leah]

WOW what an awful experience. I had an emergency section at the RVI in Newcastle in August, and all the staff were absoloutly fantastic, Sounds strange but I totally enjoyed the whole experience including the drama of the emergency section and being rushed to theatre twice (2nd time they decided to proceed with the section)!! lol.

Once I was all stitched up the midwife who had cared for me throughout my later phase of the birth, asked if I would like a wash, and while I was in theatre they washed me down, it was done by my midwife and the lovely theatre lady. I was then transfered to recovery where Kirsty (midwife) put my lovely support tights on and asked what I would like to wear - did I want my jim jams on or the nighty I had with me, I'm sure she asked if I slept in a bra (which I dont) I found everything to be really dignified throughout. The processes that they followed to me seems to be very well thought out and had my dignity and interests at heart!!! I was well impressed. I too am also she when it comes to my bits being exposed etc.

I dont know where it was you had your little one, but perhaps mention your concerns when the next time comes.
Also its your right to wear what you want!!!! Insist!!!

xx

 

[littleANDlost]

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with it.
with my c-section i was bed ridden for just over 24 hours but they left me to it and didn't force a bed bath on me, just helped me shower once i could get out of bed. If you do have a c-section again hopefully you wont be bed ridden for as long and won even be offered a bed bath, but if you tell them you don't want one they can't force it on you. and I wore my bra the whole time after skin to skin happened.