This isn't working out :(

[sweetsammi]

Hi girls..sorry i havnt been on here for ageees, just been so very busy tryin to sort my life out! Hope ur all doing ok!

Anyway i have a few problems. Firstly it really isnt working out very well at all since Oliver's daddy left me.My x only sees Oliver for a couple of hours every fortnight..he lives in Derby, and works alot. He doesnt drive so he gets a train to Leicester...problem is he has nowhere to take Oliver as he lives in Derby! He cant even take Oliver to Derby for the weekend or anything because he lives in bedsit which obviouslly is inappropriate for a baby! I just really cant see this working out. I just want Oliver to be able to have a proper relationship with his dad, but as it stands he hardly sees anything of him. I doubt he even knows his daddy. I also feel like i never have a break away from Oliver. Its ok now whilst its the summer...but what happens when ir gets cold? My x at the moment is literally pickin him up and taking him into town and just aimlessly wondering around- i do not want my baby out in the cold all day in the winter- My x cant provide any form of home or shelter for our son. Oliver also screams whenever he is with his dad- i dont know why cus Oliver is a very happy boy and rarely cries these days. Ex has admittd he cant cope with him. I just dont want him to get hurt. X cant come to my mum and dads to see him as he is no longer welcome in their home.

Secondly, since moving in with my parents, im really struggling to find a house and job. Purley because i can only work part time and so i cant aford a house from that! My mum is a childminder so i will be paying her to care for Oli whilst i work. But i dont drive and my mum lives in a village miles away from any jobs! I have to find a house and job all close to mums! Im finding it impossible! Not to mention that I have always worked in social care..which means i'll be workin weekends, early's, lates etc..times when my mum doesnt work! I have no idea how to work it!

Im tryin to be positive about it, but i really cant see a way out of my situation- i cant ever see me bein able to move out of my parents.. Sorry for the life story! x

 

[Younglutonmum]

Hiya hun

I really don't know what to say

First off though it's good to see that your ex is playing apart in Olivers life. It's more than some of the ex's on here. Could you not perhaps talk to your parents about allowing him in the house to spend time with Oliver? Your LO is the most important one in all of this & maybe your parents could put aside there issues with your ex for the sake of Oli? As you said you don't want him out in the cold all day. Also, in a familar secure setting perhaps Oli will relax more with your ex which in turn would lead to your ex feeling more relaxed & building a bond??

As for the job sitution, could you not go to the Job Centre & see what they can do? Ive always found them to be relatively helpful. Does it have to be your mum you employ as a childminder? Working Tax Credits can help pay for registered childcare.

xxxx

 

[brownhairedmom]

Awww.

I know how you feel about the not being able to find a house and job. I'm going to be fine staying here with my parents as long as I need to, thank God. I don't want to impose on them any longer than needed, but I'm pretty sure my parents would rather the baby and I living with them than struggling on my own.

I'm dreading finding a job and a new place after the baby is born! Jobs are really, really limited here, and good apartments even more so. I think I might end up taking in kids once the baby gets a little older.

 

[~ Vicky ~]

Sammmm

I'm really sorry, I have no idea what to advise. Ewan really needs to try and get himself sorted for Olivers sake if not his own. I totally agree with you that come winter he can't carry on doing what he is now. I don't know the solution though, sorry.

What I do know though is that we need a proper catch-up. Its been too long.. I'm in Leicester soon visiting my brother. Not exactly sure when but i'll give you a text and we can arrange to meet for coffee or something.

I'm always a text away if you want to chat sweetie. Lotsa love