This will be a LARGE rant (pregnancy after a preemie related)

[dizz]

You have been warned - I am irked, I am distinctly, apocalyptically irked. I will be ranting, if you're of a sensitive disposition - look away now, there'll be cute fluffy kittens along later.

So after my 33 weeker and hospital stay from the bowels of hell (I've discussed that at length before but it involved being plonked in the middle of a maternity ward and bullied into doing tube feeds I repeatedly said I was uncomfortable with, and sharing the ward with, well, imagine either Jeremy Kyle if you're a Brit, or Jerry Springer if you're US but add in helium-filled "its a boy/girl" balloons... hospital food that you could have used to bludgeon someone to death with, feed schedules directly coinciding with hospital mealtimes leaving you to starve, fights, bonkers women who forgot to feed their babies... etc etc etc etc etc)

So I head off to the OTHER hospital in the city for my 12 week scan and first consultant appointment today, reassured by my midwife that this place is nice, this place is actually cleaned (I kind of miss the five used maternity pads I used to share the shower with each morning for days on end - I'd named them after the members of Take That), and that they'll monitor me more closely this pregnancy to try to prevent a second premature delivery.

Oh yeah?!?

Scan - fine, all bits in the right places, somewhat more cooperative than the little diva who just gave us views of her butt repeatedly... and we do the usual wait to see the consultant.

Consultant took absolutely none of it on board - none of my total and utter terror at the possibility of ever being sent back to hellhole hospital - just started wittering about NHS and how they'd send me wherever there was a cot and I could object but tough crap basically - despite the fact I've got a diagnosed severe anxiety disorder as a direct consequence of what they put us through there last time.

Then we get on to me asking what would be done differently because I'd had a previous preemie. Answer - "Oh since she came at nearly 34 weeks that's fine"... yeah, apparently it's utterly fine and dandy for babies to roll out at 33 weeks and stay in NICU - we won't even bother extending your detailed scan to look at cervical length or anything... and the kicker - book me in for my next consultant appointment... at the end of week 32! Looking at my previous history - there's a fair chance someone would risk sticking a bet on that I might not make it to the end of week 32 and it would only be me going a week earlier than last time.

No wonder premature births run at the rate they do when the doctors don't give a damn about anything they could do to even TRY to prevent them - just like "oh let them have a car crash cos we've got A+E to patch 'em up afterwards."

At least my midwife's monitoring me and has me on more frequent appointments than the norm for second pregnancies - am going to try to get hold of her this week and see if she can do some butt kicking.

Like I say - small rant alert... now for a smiley doggy to soothe those traumatised by such anger (I don't have any pictures of cute kittens on my photobucket)...
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v465/magentasunset/DSCF0372.jpg

 

[Crayz]

I didn't read the story as I didn't want to be traumatized.


Your dog is very cute!


I'm totally joking of course. As the mother of a 34 weaker (who was only 3 lbs. and in the NICU for 5 weeks in a shitty hospital) I can totally relate to your PTSD. I think you need to raise hell to get the care you need/deserve. I would imagine that you would be considered high risk off the bat, and followed very closely due to your previous preemie.

I hope your MW can do something about it. If not, sometimes you need to be your own (and LO's) advocate and make some (a lot) of phone calls. But I don't know how things work in the UK.

Good luck! I hope you have a healthy and happy pregnancy, and make it to term.

 

[AP]

Sending you big hugs, what a nerve wracking time huh

I'm sorry though but

this place is actually cleaned (I kind of miss the five used maternity pads I used to share the shower with each morning for days on end - I'd named them after the members of Take That),

this goes in my top quotes on bnb i nearly LOL'd at work!

 

[chelseav1213]

I am so sorry about your experience I just had a preemie and not even thinking about another but my Dr went over how closely I will be watched in subsequent pregnancies.. I cant imagine why they wouldn't be watching you the same? I would defiently push it on them until they listen to your requests!! & very cute doggie!!!!

 

[twins33]

I agree, I would keep calling and push them to watch more closely, I could not imagine being treated like that, I live in the U.S. in the south, and the treatment I got was absolutely amazing, I had a very caring high risk doctor and my regular OBGYN was very in tune with what might happen and show concern, as did the hospitals hear, good luck.

 

[lgc]

Wow - what an amazing bedside manner the consultant clearly has!! I get so annoyed when people think that it's "fine" and somewhat normal to have a prem baby and all the crap that comes along with it...I always planned to have 2 children, but I've been so traumatised by my experience that, although I love my son dearly, Ive decided I won't be having any more children (although he's only 4 months old so I guess I may change my mind ha!). On paper we prob had a relatively uncomplicated 4 week hospital stay but it was the most stressful time of my life and it didnt stop when we brought him home. You'd think that a neonatal consultant of all people would appreciate the psychological implications! You deserve your rant, rant away!!

You have been warned - I am irked, I am distinctly, apocalyptically irked. I will be ranting, if you're of a sensitive disposition - look away now, there'll be cute fluffy kittens along later.

So after my 33 weeker and hospital stay from the bowels of hell (I've discussed that at length before but it involved being plonked in the middle of a maternity ward and bullied into doing tube feeds I repeatedly said I was uncomfortable with, and sharing the ward with, well, imagine either Jeremy Kyle if you're a Brit, or Jerry Springer if you're US but add in helium-filled "its a boy/girl" balloons... hospital food that you could have used to bludgeon someone to death with, feed schedules directly coinciding with hospital mealtimes leaving you to starve, fights, bonkers women who forgot to feed their babies... etc etc etc etc etc)

So I head off to the OTHER hospital in the city for my 12 week scan and first consultant appointment today, reassured by my midwife that this place is nice, this place is actually cleaned (I kind of miss the five used maternity pads I used to share the shower with each morning for days on end - I'd named them after the members of Take That), and that they'll monitor me more closely this pregnancy to try to prevent a second premature delivery.

Oh yeah?!?

Scan - fine, all bits in the right places, somewhat more cooperative than the little diva who just gave us views of her butt repeatedly... and we do the usual wait to see the consultant.

Consultant took absolutely none of it on board - none of my total and utter terror at the possibility of ever being sent back to hellhole hospital - just started wittering about NHS and how they'd send me wherever there was a cot and I could object but tough crap basically - despite the fact I've got a diagnosed severe anxiety disorder as a direct consequence of what they put us through there last time.

Then we get on to me asking what would be done differently because I'd had a previous preemie. Answer - "Oh since she came at nearly 34 weeks that's fine"... yeah, apparently it's utterly fine and dandy for babies to roll out at 33 weeks and stay in NICU - we won't even bother extending your detailed scan to look at cervical length or anything... and the kicker - book me in for my next consultant appointment... at the end of week 32! Looking at my previous history - there's a fair chance someone would risk sticking a bet on that I might not make it to the end of week 32 and it would only be me going a week earlier than last time.

No wonder premature births run at the rate they do when the doctors don't give a damn about anything they could do to even TRY to prevent them - just like "oh let them have a car crash cos we've got A+E to patch 'em up afterwards."

At least my midwife's monitoring me and has me on more frequent appointments than the norm for second pregnancies - am going to try to get hold of her this week and see if she can do some butt kicking.

Like I say - small rant alert... now for a smiley doggy to soothe those traumatised by such anger (I don't have any pictures of cute kittens on my photobucket)...
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v465/magentasunset/DSCF0372.jpg

 

[Crayz]

Igc-I'm with you. I asked the doctor to tie my tubes after my LO was born, but he wouldn't because of several reasons. After what we've been through, I would never want to put another child at risk of going through that, or my family.

So my daughter is only 3 months (6 weeks adjusted) and I am never having another one, EVER. I will not be changing my mind, for fear of this happening, and me having to once again deal with shitty medical care.

 

[Springflower]

Dont know if this helps, but I have deliberately booked at a hospital which has a really good nicu and is fully surgical. There is no way I'm going back to the one I gave birth in. My story is similar to yours but my little girl died because the hospital f-d up and we nearly lost her twin sister as well. Apparently they now have new procedures etc etc and would like me to come back and give birth there. No bloody likely!!

I know you aren't ok and I know you are scared. I am.

xxx

 

[dizz]

The bit that actually really really annoys me the more I think of it - is that a friend's just given birth at this hospital (it's different but the same NHS trust to the awful one) - and because her previous child was small - term, and perfectly healthy but a 5 1/2lber - they threw growth scans and monitoring at her through the eyeballs! I'm down at the GPs on Monday anyway - going to mention it to her, if no joy there I'm setting my midwife on them!

 

[lgc]

You should def get the midwife on the case! Ive just read your tag line btw and it made me smile. Noone has ever directly criticised me for formula feeding but I feel like I constantly have to explain and justify it - now I feel I should be proud that I am doing what is necessary in our circumstances! Thank you for making me feel empowered!

The bit that actually really really annoys me the more I think of it - is that a friend's just given birth at this hospital (it's different but the same NHS trust to the awful one) - and because her previous child was small - term, and perfectly healthy but a 5 1/2lber - they threw growth scans and monitoring at her through the eyeballs! I'm down at the GPs on Monday anyway - going to mention it to her, if no joy there I'm setting my midwife on them!

 

[Stanners]

God I can totally sympathise with you on this one. I too had an almost 34 seeker who was stuck in hospital for 30 days due to infection after infection after my waters broke early and the shitty hospital I was in forgot to give me the antibiotics that they had prescribed to prevent infection resulting in us both getting one and my labour being kicked off!!

However, thankfully all turned out fine and I am now almost 16 weeks pregnant again. I know that my daughter was likely born early because I have a weakened cervix after having had a third of it removed in a loop biopsy when I was 18. The doctors knew this last time and gave me a couple of internal scans at 19 and 23 weeks and came to the opinion that my cervix would hold out, which they were wrong about. Fast forward to this pregnancy and I've asked what they are going to do differently this time around given they know my cervix doesn't hold out until full term and it is further weakened from already carrying one child-well they are going to do nothing differently!! They are again giving me an internal scan at 16 and 24 weeks but I have this time been informed that these scans only show the likelihood of the baby arriving within the next 4 weeks. Will they give any scans later on, say at 28 or 30 weeks?? Will they hell and why is that, oh because a baby is viable at 28 weeks!! They won't even consider putting in a cervical stitch anyway unless they see signs of my cervix opening during either of the internal scans-fuming!

I will certainly be asking for a second opinion on the stitch at my scan on Wednesday and I hope that you also manage to find someone who is a bit more sympathetic as to what it is actually like to see your child go through the trauma of special care!

 

[Stanners]

Sorry meant 34 weeker!!

 

[PleaseBaby]

What a wanker! I jsut want to say that your perfectly within your rights to refuse treatment for you and your baby at a certain hospital. I refused with to have my daughter at the hospital I had my son (he was stillborn and they were to blame) she ended up there anyway as my placenta abrupted again and it was the closest one, life or death situaution. Anyway they messed up with her cpap and she needs plastic surgery so if I have another no way in hell wil I go back there, I've even consulted a solicitor on the matter and you can 100% refuse x

 

[gemlou86]

Hi, your consultant must see you more often. I had a 25+5 weeker last year thankfully absolutly fine after a 14week stay in nicu. I have recently had my 2nd premie at 24+1 like our fear I went backwards he's is the best place that's all I can ask for but my consultant saw me at 16weeks then didn't want to see me until 28 weeks, I new it was to far ahead. No cervical length measure until I was admitted to hospital and was to late. To add the icening on the cake I rang PAU the previouse week with back and tummy pains and was too to take paracetamol if he pain goes then all fine, what part of high risk don't these health professionals understand. Anyway think I may have had a little rant so back to my point, you need to be followed up weekly/2weekly from 20weeks so this can be prevented xx

 

[emaritska]

Oh dizz sorry to hear this! Some medical "professionals" really do make me wonder! I'm having similar issue in that my mw told me I was overreacting by refusing to go to east Surrey hospital even tho they have mismanaged both by pregnancies! She also said that two preemies doesn't make it any more likely il have a third lol....


Now referred to Guildford and seeing a consultant next week so hoping things will be planned out then!

 

[Springflower]

Emaritska, interesting! It was ES who I was with. Never ever again!!! We are off to Brighton this time.

 

[emaritska]

Emaritska, interesting! It was ES who I was with. Never ever again!!! We are off to Brighton this time.

They are terrible aren't they?! First ds was nearly 8yrs ago so I let the mw convince me with Ethan things had changed so would be fine....not true! Sorry you had such a tragic time there, it is disgusting they get away with it. Brighton? Is that far from you ...I guess if you are in West Sussex than perhaps not too far...we nearly went to Brighton on delivery day as es had no space(!) however a slot came up in Guildford x wishing you all the best xxxx

 

[dizz]

No joy with the GP this morning - towing the same line that the prematurity wasn't a big deal and that it "probably" won't happen again. The idea of moving in with my mother from 30 weeks and "accidentally" going into labour there where she'll be on hand to administer good arse kickings seems increasingly likely (apart from the fact me and my mother under the same roof would kill each other in a week).

 

[emaritska]

Dizz the way they are treating you is terrible! Can you complain to the practice manager? To be honest they said the same to be after jack was born, ESP as there is 7.5yrs between him and Ethan, that jacks early delivery was a fluke, not likely to happen again....low and behold ruptured waters at 27weeks to the day! They really are stupid at times and you have to shout to be heard, although given the history in your case I ne'er stand if you are reluctant to make a fuss x thinking of you sweetie xxxx