Those of both deliveries really

[Teri7489]

Hi there, I'm just doing some research before my consultant appointment next week and thought you guys would be the best to answer.

I had my daughter October 2013 with urgent forcep delivery resulting in a 4th degree tear. I am no faecally incontinent, stress urine incontinence alongside PTSD from the delivery. I'm now pregnant again but terrified! I was told I couldn't deliver vaginally again, but had my booking appointment last week and midwife said it may be possible. I've been urgently referred to consultant to go through previous notes and decide.

I'm really just looking for advice. Is a section THAT bad? Would it be better than risking a 4th degree tear? What about my toddler? If you have had both, which would you choose again? Any help would be appreciated xxx

 

[ttc126]

Hi I had a traumatic first vaginal delivery in August of 2013. I had nightmares, postpartum anxiety and depression from the horrid delivery. I won't go into details as you already know how a traumatic birth feels.

This time, I was told I could opt for a c section but I didn't want to unless it was medically necessary. Well my lo decided to turn breech. So I had a c section two weeks ago.

It was very nice to have it planned. I wanted my.dr to deliver and didn't want to risk my former ob being on call that day. So that took a lot of stress off. Then I did have a minor complication from the spinal, I was throwing up for half the surgery. But even with that I have FAR preferred the section to my first experience.

First, it was so nice to be able to see my son when he came out. I will always remember getting to see him right away and being coherent enough to remember it. Second, I did not feel bad after! once the vomiting was under control, in the recovery room I was totally fine! Got to hold my baby and bond. After ds1, I was passing out and do not even remember holding him before he was rushed off to nicu. Third, the recovery has been WONDERFULLY BETTER than my first. I haven't had any problems this time. The second night after surgery I forgot my pain medicine and had a rough time getting it down to a tolerable level, but after that I'm fine. I'm not even taking a Tylenol at this point and haven't needed medicine for days! My incision has healed well...It has a few weird numb spots but no pain.

You will probably need a hand with your toddler the first 2 weeks, but if you have family or friends to help it's not a problem.

I really think a traumatic birth is far more difficult to recover from than a c section, but big hugs to you as you weigh your options!

 

[Lady_Bee]

Gosh that sounds horrendous.

I obviously can't say what I would do on your shoes, but my first was a vaginal birth and my second was a scheduled c-section due to him being awkwardly breech and refusing to turn around.

My c-section was lovely actually. Definitely not bad in any measure. My vaginal birth was way worse for me - I found it a really horrid and frightening experience and mine was relatively uncomplicated in comparison to yours! But that's just my personal experience - if my second had been an EMCS I likely wouldn't have found it so positive! I had a lot of help at home for the first month after having DS2 so my recovery wasn't bad at all. I bonded amazingly with my second child, the c-section didn't have any negatives for us whatsoever. They did a wonderful job and I was able to have skin to skin contact with my baby as soon as I was in the recovery room... abou 15 minutes after he was born.

 

[mummy2be...]

I had an uncomplicated drug free natural birth, I did immediate skin to skin and breast feeding. It was the single most amazing thing I've ever experienced. I loved every second.

Next I had an emergency section, and the only good thing about it was it saved my babies life. The overall experience is clinical and horrible. The pain afterwards was horrendous (remembering I tore in my first birth with no pain relief and I didn't think it was bad, I'm not a wuss when it comes to pain) I didn't bond with Dd2, I fel disconnected and cold about the whole experience.

 

[salazjm218]

Well hun I hope no matter which way you deliver that it goes smooth for you and you have a happy and healthy baby

I have delivered both ways and honestly in my opinion the CS was so much easier on my body. I preferred it. The pain of recovery is nothing to that that can't be controlled with meds (I was off mine by the first week). And the only tough part for me was getting up the first time. You just have to be patient with yourself but it really isn't too bad.

The only part I hate is I didn't get to bond immediately with my son (and daughter who was My second CS). I saw him for a couple of minutes and then they took him to the nursery And I couldn't see him til I was out of recovery (which is only about an hour after they finish surgery) but still when you have a new baby that hour feels like a lifetime.

 

[salazjm218]

Also it didn't affect my bonding with either my son or daughter. As soon as I was able to have them in my arms I immediately started showering my little one's with love and kisses and got some skin to skin contact in. As soon as just was in my room I was able to breast feed and had no problems what so ever.

Hope this helps

 

[Teri7489]

Thank you everyone. I've been going over this almost every night trying to get my head straight. My appointment is now on the 12th march so have more time to think. I'm leaning more toward a section as even now I start to have panic attacks thinking about going in to labour. The feeling of guilt and worry of regret is far less than the fear of future complications. I just want a healthy baby and be able to be a proper mummy to my lovely daughter (who will be 22 months when baby is born) I don't want to be a withdrawn, depressed mummy for her again xxx