My best advice: Prepare! I could have written your post before my first. I had a good attitude going in and I did do it naturally but I have to admit, that at some point, I completely lost control of myself and just panicked. If you prepare and practise now and also prepare your birth partner, hopefully you'll have the skills to overcome any feelings of panic and get back to being relaxed and calm.
Breathing: Practise deep breathing. Take a deep breath in through your nose, breathing right down to your tummy so you can feel it rise, then let the breath go through your mouth. Try to do this rhythmically and as slowly as is comfortable, ideally with the out breath being longer than the in breath. Practise as often as you can. Closing your eyes may help. Later on, you might need to switch to taking deep breaths in through your nose, followed by a short fast breath out through your mouth then in again slowly through your nose etc. Get your birth partner to notice when you're not breathing calmly and to remind you to do it. Ideally, practise together do he/she can get you to breathe calmly by doing it with you.
Distraction/focussing: When in labour, concentrate on something other than the pain. Take a scan picture to look at or count the tiles on the wall or recite the alphabet or a song you like in your head.
Atmosphere: Make sure you feel safe and private at all times. Dining the light, taking your own blankets and music, asking staff not to chat to each other etc can all help to improve your surroundings. Make your birth partner responsible for making you feel as safe and comfortable as possible.
Relaxation: Practise relaxing your body by closing your eyes and focussing on each part in turn, from head to toe. Then tell yourself to relax each part, ie "face, relax!", "jaw, relax!", "shoulders, relax!". This takes some practise but you'll get better at it quickly. In labour, remember to relax your jaw, shoulders, hands and pelvis (think "letting go" when on the toilet). Get your birth partner to monitor these areas and remind you to relax if necessary.
Movement/positions: Try to be as active as you can, changing position frequently. Don't lie down on your back, instead try all fours, lean over the back of the bed or on your partner, squat, walk, or if you need a rest, lie on your left side. The more active you are, the quicker you will progress. If things get too intense and you need a break, go on all fours and let your upper body drop to the floor. That way, gravity takes some of the pressure off your cervix, making contractions less intense. For pushing, don't let anyone bully you into lying on your back. That position is easier for hospital staff but any upright position makes it much easier to push baby out.
Knowledge: Read up a little on the different stages of labour, if you haven't already. Especially transition can be scary as you get a big dose of adrenaline and many women feel they can't do it when transition hits. Know that that's normal and means that you're nearly there.
Finally, remember that it's all temporary and each contraction brings your baby a little bit closer to you. It'll be over before you know it and you'll have a lifetime after that to enjoy your child.
Best of luck!
