Too reliant on bf to sleep...

[ChaiTea]

My son just turned 1. He has always breastfed, no formula and he never used a bottle. He's been nursed to sleep for naps and bed all his life. Sometimes now he will nurse for a while, and I'll put him down awake and he quietly falls asleep (no crying or fussing) within 5 minutes. He shows no signs of weaning off the breast which kind of has me nervous. I would like to be completely finished bf by 18 months, or at least have him be able to sleep without it by then. I've started taking away his morning feed which doesn't seem to bother him. He'll just eat breakfast and have some almond milk. So he's already down to 2, sometimes 3 feeds a day. He rarely asks to be nursed during the day. Every now and then he will come and pull on my shirt. But if I offer it to him he's always eager. Any thoughts, comments, suggestions are appreciated. Thanks!

 

[beagleowner]

What's your thoughts on sleep training? When we sleep trained, the first order of business was NO MORE nursing to sleep for naps OR bed.

 

[MommyJogger]

I think if you adjust your expectations to perhaps not needing to nurse to sleep (and likely therefore weaning since that's when he nurses) sometime between 18-24 months, you will reach the goal much more easily and with less distress than setting a hard 18 month date. Between 18 and 24 months, your lo will be able to understand a lot more easily the concept of shortening feeds more and more before going to sleep and then cutting it out altogether. I think if you work at it slowly, and with love and respect for his adjusting needs, you can achieve the outcome you want with positivity at the end of the nursing relationship. A child isn't going to self-wean by 18 months, so it's very normal that a 1yo isn't showing any signs of weaning.

 

[ChaiTea]

Sleep training isn't really something we are interested in, not in the ways I've read about.
I guess I feel kind of trapped. One day I'm ready for him to nicely wean on his own and the next I don't want it to end any time soon. I suppose I need to make a decision and stick to it.
Thanks for your input ladies!

 

[hiladun]

It sounds a little like you'd like to continue, just not around naps/bedtime/nighttime?

Either way, I'd highly recommend tackling bedtime/nighttime first. I've heard lots of success stories with jay Gordon method (google or search here or natural parenting board) which is a gentle/AP/respectful type method. I was going to do this but had enough one night and have been cold turkey (till 4am but I am happy to do that feed) ever since. It's not no-cry, cos they love their booby, but it's something I was happy with as a more baby-led type mum.

It may not be as bad as you think- my LO is a PROPER boob monster, fed to sleep and naps (held for the latter) for most of 14 months ish. We took the BF away from falling asleep quite easily (still needs cuddling to sleep but accepts OH or my mum for this) and I now nap him in the pram. You could have knocked me down with a feather!

I know how you feel about being trapped. For me this lessened when I wasn't needed for every bedtime and nap time.

Agree with pp that it would be very unusual for him to self wean by 18 months, so if you're going to wean completely it's going to be you leading the way. If you had nights/bedtime sorted you could reevaluate from there and either keep going with the weaning or pause it till a bit later or go for self weaning.

 

[baby1wanted]

I know you've said you're not keen on sleep training but thought I'd let you know what we did. Until a few weeks ago DS needed a minimum of 30 mins bf for all naps and bedtime.
We used the baby whisperer methods - shh pat and pick up put down. Yes there was some crying but I never left his side so could comfort him throughout. Within 2 days he was used to no longer feeding to sleep - I was amazed how quickly he took to it! He now goes in his cot wide awake and us generally asleep within 5 mins
Now need to tackle the incessant night feeding! Think he might resist that a bit more though....
Hope you get something sorted

 

[RaspberryK]

Perhaps you could start a new routine of last feed a bit earlier, then get changed for bed, brush teeth and story before bed and see how it goes.
Sleep training doesn't have to include cio or cc at all, you can do whatever you like as long as it's consistent.
Xx

 

[Peppermint25]

I'm in a very similar predicament with my 14 month old. She has always fed to sleep and puts up a mighty fight if I try sleep her any other way. I am wanting to stop breastfeeding and get some of my sleep back!

At 11 months I stopped all nap feeding and now take her out in the pushchair instead which has worked well. It's just this pesky bed time feed I can't stop. Iv tried and she screams the house down and doesn't stop

 

[BigAl]

I started giving the last feed before bath etc, and then either me or oh rocked him to sleep, at a similar age to your lo. We did then have to wean off the rocking, but that's a different story.