Try or not too

[JanBaby]

Hi been browsing here for a while now - used to come on these forums regularly few years back when I had my last 2 who are now 5 and 3. I am now 38 have 4 beautiful children.

I'm looking for advice my youngest just turned 3 and also meant to be our last - but as of late I've been feeling so broody would love to try for baby 5. I know it may or may not happen but at moment can't even decide wether to go for it or not. Lol husband thinks I'm crazy ... And I'm sure if it were to happen I'd get lots of negative comments from people around me. Worried about being pregnant at 38 how I'd cope with that and demands of other 4 - but in saying that I can't shake the feeling of wanting to be pregnant again.

Anyway as I'm still in thinking mode woud love opinions for and against doing it at this age again and also having a larger family? Am I crazy lol anyone been in the same situation?

Thought I'd post here as I'm so inspired by all you ladies x

 

[TicToc]

When I was 37 I got the same feeling and at the time our kids were 21,17, and 14. We thought we were done long ago but we had a false alarm and DH and I both realized instead of being relieved when the test came back negative, we were sad. People did think we were nuts, but we went for it. In the two years that followed I had a miscarriage, was told I couldn't get pregnant anymore, went through the grief and acceptance of that only to get pregnant a month later...and then had another miscarriage. I was a rocky road filled with regret for having waited so long to try for another. Things happened and our situation changed for the worse (medically and financially) and we decided to stop trying and start preventing. Almost a year later I got pregnant again on accident. Now I am 21 weeks and everything looks good. We are so happy, even though it was a shock. I guess my point is that if you feel like you want another, it probably won't just go away and waiting at this age isn't a luxury we have. You and your husband have to make that decision without worrying about what others might think. It's not their life, it's yours.

Having said all that, good luck with whatever you decide to do!

 

[JanBaby]

Tic toc what a struggle you've been through - you are right though about jot worrying about what others think - but I think more than what others are thinking I myself feel a little torn - we have spoken about it and are going to wait till the end of the year and see how we feel then ... Biggest worry is prob the pregnancy and how I'd cope

Wishing you all the best for future xx

 

[dollych]

I would say go for it!!! I'm like you and worry what others think, but like my hubby says....... sod them, it's our life!!!.
I would love a big family, but hubby just wants 1 more as I will be 37 soon.
I'm starting TTC #3 in December.
38 is not too old at all and you have so much experience having 4 already that baby #5 will be a doddle!!!. It will be great having a big family. Just think about all the fun you will have with them all growing up, then how close you will be when they are older and all the family gatherings you will look forward to like Christmas e.t.c
Plus you will have all the grand children to look forward to then!!!
Good luck xx

 

[hillarylmt]

I say go for it!! We have three boys, 9, 9, and 13. I am 38, it took us a year and a half and one miscarriage, but we are expecting a healthy baby and are over the moon.
I actually thought that people would say negative things, and was quite surprised and pleased at the outpouring of positive we got, so you may be surprised! And who cares what anyone thinks! Its your life, only you know what is right.
The clincher for me was that I knew if we didn't at least try for a baby, I know myself well enough to know that someday I would regret it, and I don't want to live my life with any regrets, and I don't want to be on my deathbed with any regrets! So, go for it!!

 

[JanBaby]

Thanks for such positive replys -

U guys are so right about EVERYTHING - gonna give it a go at the end of the year if I'm still up for it then lol. Can't wait ....

Good luck on your journeys ladies xx

 

[Havmercy]

I agree with the others. I'm 40 years old with a 15 month old. We definitely wanted another. We don't care what others have to say about it. WE can support our own children, we aren't on government assistance. I see so many young girls with kids they can't afford, and I know our tax dollars are supporting them. I've even had women who had children in their teens to say something negative about us having a baby late in age. My response to them is, "WE don't have regrets. We have traveled and experienced life as single people and as a married couple without kids. We are having our children when we can support them mentally and physically. We put our careers first so that we didn't have to struggle financially. Our children will have great Christmases and birthdays, clothes on their back, food in their bellies, they will get to travel, attend private schools,and have a home of their own with a huge backyard." I must add, I'm in better shape than a lot of younger females I've seen.

 

[2have4kids]

I'm 38 and after years if ttc finally got my first bfp. I want a large family so I'll be in my 40's where you are right now. I'm hoping the next de ivf we do gives me twins to help speed up my family but just feel fortunate for your age and ability to still have the possibility of having your own children.

 

[wookie130]

At our age, who cares what others think about our life decisions? We don't answer to anyone but ourselves, and that's one of the biggest differences between us "older" gals, and the youngin's...we live life on our OWN terms.

I'd say to really follow your heart on this one, but understand that at 38, the clock is ticking, so it's not a decision you can sit on for a long while. If you want that 5th baby, make sure it's a choice that will benefit ALL of you, and go for it, if that's what you really want to do!

 

[Leikela]

Go for it! I waited until I was 35 to conceive my first, was 36 when she was born, and now I am 37 and will try to conceive #2 this August, when I am 38. I don't think it is too old at all to have a baby. I just had a coworker have her first baby at 42 years old. Noone looked at me funny when I was having a baby at 36 years old. If people do that, they have their own personal issues they are reflecting upon you. Let us know if it works out for you. Babies are the best!