Trying To Conceive After 2 Miscarriages

[TwoAngels]

Hi This is my first time on a blog and thought maybe it would be good for me to express my feelings with people who have gone through what I have. I am 21yrs old and married. The first time I found out I was expecting was Sept. 2009, I felt fine and all. Reason I found out was because I had just finished mensturating 2 weeks before then all of a sudden I started again so I went to the doctors to check it out and she came back with a positive pregnancy test (6 weeks). I was like what how if I just had my period 2 weeks ago and why am I bleeding if I am? Doctor responded its normal implantation, plactena attaching who knows what blah blah..I thought this is bull and she sent me home. Well a not even a week later I ended up going to the ER because I did not want to feel guilty if I ended up miscarrying knowing I did not do anything to find out what was wrong. So finally at the ER the doctors checked me said cervix was closed everything looked fine nothing abnormal, even sent me for ultrasound. Finally he tells me that they saw no baby no sac but that they could see something up in the right corner of my uterus and said that was the baby and it was growing the wrong place. I was given a Methotraxate shot and I expelled it.That miscarriage was called an ectopic pregnancy. Fast forward...sometime in September we started trying to conceive and in November I found out I was pregnant for the second time (8 weeks). That time around I was scared but I decided early on I would not let it get to me so I continued & I waited the first 12 weeks before I told anyone. @ 14wks Which I remember very clearly as a living nightmare. It was a Friday night when my Husband and I decided to go maternity clothes shopping when after arriving home I went pee and when I wiped I had spotting but this time it was brown which I thought it not unusal since I had been spotting very lightly pink and doctors said it was from the uterus stretching. I called after hours advice nurse line and they pretty much put me to the side and told me to call back when they werent busy!! I was heated so I thought well I'll just go to the ER when I take my mom to work in the morning (Mom works @ hospital). Morning never came...that night I was tossing and turning unable to sleep and get comfy. I kept having very light stomach cramps which I mistook for bowl movements cramps. I kept feeling the need to use the bathroom and nothing would happen. Finally I went back to bed and I tried to get back to sleep but I quickly got up because I had the same bathroom feeling again and as soon as I sat up in bed to tell my husband lets go to ER, I can no longer wait something is wrong. Suddenly a gush of water expelled and I shot out running to get to ER. Finally @ 0300 I miscarried for the SECOND time. Doctors did ultrasound and saw it then when they did it again they did not so then they did and vaginal ultrasound and saw that the baby had come down to canal. They then pulled it out when some tongs. My poor Husband witnessed it all he was pretty tramautized seeing our baby just lying there dead. After that I asked for answers NONE. I asked for tested and they said you need to have two more of the same kind of miscarriage @ second trimester for us to consider a specialist!..I cannot believe it. They said because one miscarriage was Ectopic and the second one was fine and unexpectedly end @ second trimester. We will start trying again in December. Any tips? I plan on taking pre-natals now. Any tips or advice is welcomed.


Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

 

[sammyjo]

Hi This is my first time on a blog and thought maybe it would be good for me to express my feelings with people who have gone through what I have. I am 21yrs old and married. The first time I found out I was expecting was Sept. 2009, I felt fine and all. Reason I found out was because I had just finished mensturating 2 weeks before then all of a sudden I started again so I went to the doctors to check it out and she came back with a positive pregnancy test (6 weeks). I was like what how if I just had my period 2 weeks ago and why am I bleeding if I am? Doctor responded its normal implantation, plactena attaching who knows what blah blah..I thought this is bull and she sent me home. Well a not even a week later I ended up going to the ER because I did not want to feel guilty if I ended up miscarrying knowing I did not do anything to find out what was wrong. So finally at the ER the doctors checked me said cervix was closed everything looked fine nothing abnormal, even sent me for ultrasound. Finally he tells me that they saw no baby no sac but that they could see something up in the right corner of my uterus and said that was the baby and it was growing the wrong place. I was given a Methotraxate shot and I expelled it.That miscarriage was called an ectopic pregnancy. Fast forward...sometime in September we started trying to conceive and in November I found out I was pregnant for the second time (8 weeks). That time around I was scared but I decided early on I would not let it get to me so I continued & I waited the first 12 weeks before I told anyone. @ 14wks Which I remember very clearly as a living nightmare. It was a Friday night when my Husband and I decided to go maternity clothes shopping when after arriving home I went pee and when I wiped I had spotting but this time it was brown which I thought it not unusal since I had been spotting very lightly pink and doctors said it was from the uterus stretching. I called after hours advice nurse line and they pretty much put me to the side and told me to call back when they werent busy!! I was heated so I thought well I'll just go to the ER when I take my mom to work in the morning (Mom works @ hospital). Morning never came...that night I was tossing and turning unable to sleep and get comfy. I kept having very light stomach cramps which I mistook for bowl movements cramps. I kept feeling the need to use the bathroom and nothing would happen. Finally I went back to bed and I tried to get back to sleep but I quickly got up because I had the same bathroom feeling again and as soon as I sat up in bed to tell my husband lets go to ER, I can no longer wait something is wrong. Suddenly a gush of water expelled and I shot out running to get to ER. Finally @ 0300 I miscarried for the SECOND time. Doctors did ultrasound and saw it then when they did it again they did not so then they did and vaginal ultrasound and saw that the baby had come down to canal. They then pulled it out when some tongs. My poor Husband witnessed it all he was pretty tramautized seeing our baby just lying there dead. After that I asked for answers NONE. I asked for tested and they said you need to have two more of the same kind of miscarriage @ second trimester for us to consider a specialist!..I cannot believe it. They said because one miscarriage was Ectopic and the second one was fine and unexpectedly end @ second trimester. We will start trying again in December. Any tips? I plan on taking pre-natals now. Any tips or advice is welcomed.


Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Hi there.
I'm really sorry for your losses.
I too have suffered a miscarriage from unknown causes- which gives me lots of anxiety to become pregnant again. And the doctors and nurses and the ER were very negative and rude toward me, stresses me out so bad that I mc'd right there after she slammed down the papers that tell me I'm having a probable miscarriage. "and that if theres a tiny little bitty percent chance you're not I guess you'll continue on with your pregnancy.."
But I try to stay positive.

Well, you know sometimes ectopic pregnancys happen, as as with the other, about 15-25 percent of m/c's happen for unknown reasons.

My advice to
-you and your hubby take your vitamins (recomended three months before ttc)
-stay as positive as you can (join a support group, this webste is really good, and also theres a LOT of success storys out there. People have had their babies after so much trouble, but its worth it in the end. Always remember that some people have it a lot worse, and some people have suffered a lot worse, but in the end the majority have pulled through)

To be honest, and I'm not just saying it to make you feel better.. I think you'll be just fine. Just make sure you take good care of yourself. Treat yourself like you're pregnant even whn you're not.
(I need to take my own advice sometimes)

Baby dust! --always stay positive and keep a happy mind state. Things will work themselves out.

 

[Lily_Hope]

Hi TwoAngels and sammy jo

Very sorry to hear of your losses. Sammyjo your advice is spot on. As you mentioned, its easier said then done sometimes but we can only try!

I've had two losses this year - one miscarriage (5.5 weeks) and one ectopic (8 weeks). I had laparoscopy surgery for the ectopic which actually didn't show much abnormal and I ended up miscarrying naturally a few days after the surgery. I have had several tests to check for underlying causes re recurrent loss and nothing showed up so it looks like it might just be really bad luck. Hubby and I are now back to TTC after a 3 month break and we're hoping its a case of 3rd time lucky!

I actually just decided this weekend that I want to seek out a counsellor. I think they might be able to help with trying to stay positive and not putting too much pressure on myself or my husband! I also find that lately I have been finding it difficult to hear about friends getting pregnant so I'm hoping that a counsellor will be able to help me work through some of this stuff.

Its heartbreaking what we have been through so its only natural to feel sad and anxious. Sending lots of baby dust and positivity your way!!!

 

[patiently]

I am so sorry for both of your losses...i also have had two mc...my first in feb this year and my second in june...i havent atually past my 6 weeks mark..ive never seen a heartbeat so i know that this must be extremely difficult for you to go through...this forum has really helped me when i have felt so low as many women on here have had recurrent mc and go on to have healthy future pregnancies and babies...my dr also refused to test after my second mc...but i am trying to stay positive that i will be blessed with a baby...positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes i believe...i know its hard right now but it will get easier as time goes by...i have also started taking pre-natals and hope that the next BFP we get will be sticky ones good luck to all the ladies and sending loads of baby dust your way x x x

 

[sammyjo]

Yes, these forums are very helpful.
And thank you guys for all the support.
Everything will turn out.

I once posted something on yahoo answers about how to deal with a miscarriage, and a lady told me her story that really made me feel positive and hopeful.
Here it is...


"I have had 6 miscarriages in total. There wasnt anything I did wrong, it just happened.
I had my daughter and then tried for a baby with my husband about 2 years later. I suffered 5 miscarriages before finally falling pregnant with my son. I went straight to my Doctor when I found out and he put me on a course of progesterone injections weekly. I gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
When my son was 10 my husband and I tried for another baby. I fell pregnant straight away but again miscarried fairly early. I never got another period as I fell pregnant less than 4 weeks after my miscarriage. I gave birth to another lovely boy who is now nearly 2.5.
I have a 19 year old daughter, a 12 year old son and a 2.5 year old son.

I hope that gives you hope. Dont give up.


sh"



Dont give up ladies and stay positive!!
Much love n dust

 

[sammyjo]

A while ago, sometime a few months after my mc.. I had a few day late period.
When it came, I cramped worse than I'd ever cramped before, and bled soo bad. I don't know if it was a period. I wonder if maybe it was a second mc. It wasn't quite official, because something told me not to test to find out. I couldn't mentally deal with it again. So I never tested. But it was unlike any period I'd ever had and so similar to my miscarriage I assumed the worst.
The pain was so unbearable I had to take pain pills, (which I try to avoid generally at all costs), but I actually went out and bought some. I could barely walk, and just bled and bled.

I remember the first time it happened to me, I knew there was something wrong when I saw extremely dark red/brown blod in a big glob. I tried to explain to to my ob/gyn because I ironicaly had an appointment that very day. And she ignored me. Gave me a pad and thought nothing of it, though I tried so hard to express my concerns.

Later, I jumped in the shower, (this was terrifying), I squatted down and dark dark blood just POURED out of me. For a good 2 minutes, just thickly poured out. I regret not going to the hospital that night. I don't think anything would have changed though, I dont think they could have saved him or her, but the doctors didnt care about someone like me anyway, poor and on free medical care, young. (This was a few years ago)

Ironically I had conceived mothers day, and they confirmed my miscarriage on fathers day. Dramatically, right after opening the doors to walk out of the hospital it thundered and started pouring. In the middle of f'ing June.

Eh. Truamatizing.