TTC after stillbirth & c-section -just looking for some advice from those who've been

[frsttimemama]

Okay, just looking for some info/advice at the moment. My husband and I lost our baby on June 25. We were induced at 39 weeks. After having Cervidil, Cytotec, and finally Pitocin, my water broke (contractions were a bit uncomfortable, but not really painful). There was blood, and I had an emergency C-section. I was okay (we were both bleeding), and he wasn't able to hang on. He had a velamentous cord insertion that went undetected. It's rare. We were devastated, and while we are still sad and know that while no child will ever replace our little guy, we definitely still want to be parents and as soon as possible. When I go back to the doctor for a 4 week follow up, I'm going to let her know that I don't want to go on any birth control. We want to have a baby as soon as we can. I know that some people may feel that we aren't done grieving, etc., but truly, we are okay. We were fortunate enough to have a few weeks off together and tons of family and friend support. We also were able to have a beautiful celebration of life ceremony to honor him, and that was so helpful for us. Have any of you every gotten pregnant soon after a C-section? Any problems? Before I got pregnant with our little guy, we were told that they thought I had PCOS and that I may never have kids.. I'm hoping that we won't have any problems, but I'm incredibly nervous. Any advice, suggestions, or anything??

 

[frsttimemama]

I think my biggest concern is that physically there may be some issues with my uterus since I did have a C-section. The incision on the outside is completely healed now it appears. As far as nutrient stores and what not, I eat right, take my vitamins, don't drink, don't smoke, or anything like that.

 

[Ali33]

First off I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how difficult that must be, being so far along. I lost my baby boy at 24 weeks in May. I am also hoping to get pregnant again ASAP.

I have read that the recommended wait after a c-section is 18-24 months. The link where I read that will be posted below. Looks like the most common risk is uterine rupture but it doesn't give statistics or anything. https://cesarean-section.org/getting-pregnant-again-after-a-c-section/

Good luck and I hope we both get our BFPs soon!

 

[frsttimemama]

I've looked online, and I've seen anywhere from 6 months to 24 months like you said. Ugh! I cannot wait that long! Since they told me before I got pregnant with him that they thought I had PCOS and may never be able to get pregnant, I'm absolutely terrified that I won't be able to have anymore children. I won't be able to relax until we get pregnant again, and even then, not until we are in our truck coming home from the hospital with our baby in the backseat.. I'm just really curious about anybody who has had real life experience with getting pregnant soon after a C-section. I'm not sure how my doctor will feel about it, but I'm sure that she will respect our decision. Also, I'm so sorry for your loss. No loss is ever easy, not matter how far along one is. Hopefully we do both get BFP's soon!

 

[Ali33]

If you Google pregnancy right after c-section I think BabyCenter has some women who share their experiences. I had a c-section almost 11 years ago and when I delivered Aidan in May vaginally even then there was a risk of uterine rupture but a very small percentage. I think it is just legally something they have to tell you. I understand how you feel about getting pregnant right away. I don't have PCOS but I am 35 as of a few days ago and my biological clock is ticking! Personally even if I had a c-section with Aidan I would still try right away. Maybe just give yourself a cycle so you can get your uterus and everything a chance to get back down to size though. Also would give you a chance to build up some uterine lining. Hopefully someone here can tell you their personal experience as well.

 

[frsttimemama]

I don't actually expect to get pregnant the first cycle to be honest. And the next pregnancy will be a C-section delivery. My doctor and I discussed that the morning after everything happened. I told her I wouldn't do it again without one, and she agreed with me. Hopefully that would lessen the chances of uterine rupture. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like my clock is ticking, too. I'm in my late 20's and my hubby is in his early 30's.. and we have no other children besides a spoiled dog

 

[Ali33]

You are still young. I bet you would be fine. I have a spoiled 10 year old and 3 spoiled dogs. And a spoiled hubby at that! lol.. You would be surprised how many people get pregnant even before they have a period. I was hoping that would happen but nope! My cycle was 30 days before being pregnant and came 30 days after I delivered and now 30days again so I am thankful my cycle is regular. I am hoping that helps me get pregnant quicker!

 

[frsttimemama]

I haven't had a regular cycle without birth control in years. I took birth control pills for 3 years then I stopped in January of 2012. I had a period in January, March, and June of 2012. In August, they told me they thought I had PCOS (my regular doctor, not an OB/GYN), and that I may never get pregnant. They told me to try to lose weight and that might help. I did. I lost 20 pounds, and we found out I was pregnant in October. I gained 36 pounds with this pregnancy and have lost 26 so I'm almost back to where I was before we found out I was pregnant. Hopefully that will work in our favor as well. I have no idea when to expect a period at all since it has been so long since I had regular periods anyway.

 

[Ali33]

Well obviously the Dr was wrong about getting pregnant. The good news is you did. Do you use OPKs? I am currently trying to lose weight. I lost 27 lbs after I had Aidan. Still have quite a bit to go unfortunately. Took us 13 months to conceive Aidan, I am praying it doesn't take us that long again..

 

[frsttimemama]

No, I didn't use an OPK. I did buy one and started using it, but I never had to finish using it. I don't even know if I was using it right. My periods were all messed up, and I don't honestly know how to use it. I've actually lost 29 pounds since having our baby, and I have a personal goal of losing 31 more as I've gained weight since high school and I'm trying to get back there. I don't think my body will ever be quite the same after having been pregnant and had a baby, but I'm okay with that. It took us 10 months to get pregnant the first time, so I'm also hopeful that it won't take that long this time around. I don't want to seem to have the attitude that God owes us anything after this experience, but I can only hope that He will bless us with another healthy pregnancy with a much better outcome this time around and quickly.

 

[_Lexi_]

I lost my son last February shortly after birth. My consultant said ideally 18 months, that it takes 12 months for a body to recover from a pregnancy no matter how well you eat. I was given the all clear in regards to my scar, at six months, and got pregnant that month. I would advise waiting at least 6 months to give your body time to heal. I wanted to try immediately, but taking that time gave me space to properly grieve for Joshua. My pregnancy was stressful and terrifying. I did have pain with my scar as my bump grew. By getting pregnant so soon I was wary of uterine rupture. I now have my beautiful 5 week old rainbow at home that was born by induced vbac with forceps. Your only two weeks from your loss, take time to properly grieve and don't rush into anything. They advise not even having sex for 6 weeks after a section due to risks of infection.

 

[Topanga053]

I'm so sorry. I had an early loss last year, so I can't even pretend to know what it feels like to have such a late loss. I also don't know anything about time to heal after scarring. But I did just want to briefly jump in and caution you that sometimes the compulsive need to "get pregnant as soon as possible" is a sign of grief too. I felt that way immediately after my loss, even when I *thought* I was doing somewhat ok. As the months went on (and we didn't get pregnant), I completely broke down and realized that I had NOT finished grieving properly. It can take a lot longer than you think and hit you out of nowhere, even when you *think* you're doing ok. It killed me to not get pregnant right away, but now (almost a year later), I realize that that was probably the best thing for me. I had a lot of emotional healing to do still and it was so much better to do that at a time when I wasn't putting stress on a baby.

I know that everyone heals differently, so maybe you really are fine, but I just wanted to share my own experience that "needing" to get pregnant again can be manifestation of grief... it just doesn't look like "normal" grief, so it's easy to dismiss it as just wanting a baby!

No matter what you decide, I wish you all the luck in the world. xoxoxo

 

[frsttimemama]

Thank you ladies. I appreciate your input. I will definitely be having a C-section with any subsequent pregnancies. My doctor and I discussed and decided this the day after everything happened. I'm okay with it, and that's what I want honestly. I kind of figure my body will know when it's ready, and I'll get pregnant when it's ready? Just hoping that isn't too far from now.

Topanga, what you say does make sense, and I can see where you are coming from. I can honestly say that we really are fine though. We were able to get answers and closure from the situation for the most part (Nobody ever gets to know "why us"..), but otherwise we are okay. We do still have sad moments, but we know we probably always will. I think my need to get pregnant again stems from the fact that it took us 10 months the last time, and they told me that they thought I had PCOS and may never get pregnant at all. That's terrifying to someone who wants to be a mama. Thank you for your good wishes. I hope that you are blessed with your positive results soon!!