TTC - Dunno if hubby is doing it right

[Yippie]

Hi All,

I'm a newbie here, though I admit I have been stalking, and just frustrated at the moment, have been trying for a baby since 3 years now and have a lot of resentment because of my husband.
I recently had a lot of blood work done and all my tests came back normal. My husband was not interested in having kids but lately has shown some interest, or so I think.

<Too much info - kindly refrain from reading if you are not interested in TMI>

Every time we had intercourse my husband would pull out and this has been happening from the past 3 years. I personally think that I'm a naive person, at 34 years about all this sex thing ! I am not on any birth control or don't prefer to take tablets. So my problem is each time we have had intercourse I have to coax my husband to do the deed ( not because of sex but to have a baby), and each time we do, he pulls when he's done and I don't feel anything except that I notice him inserting, and then taking out, and notice then that the semen comes out/flows out not inside me !

I have been thinking, that we are not doing something correct, I have been giving my over than 100% and eating healthy and lying back after the deed etc., just a day ago I realised that he should continue to do the deed when he orgasms so the fluid gets into me and not pull out? I'm not sure If my husband is doing this on purpose, just to keep peace between us .I am running out of time, Please share your thoughts and tips, so I can take good decisions.

Appreciate any thoughts and support

Baby dust to all.

 

[heres_hoping]

You are right in that you are not gong to conceive with him pulling out. He needs to ejaculate inside you. I t sounds as though perhaps he isn't as on board with getting you pregnant as you think. I think the two of you need to have a serious talk.

 

[star25]

Hi, sorry tmi here too but when when my dh ejaculates he stays inside for a min or so just to make sure it's all out ( sorry!) then I lay on back while he stuffs 2 pillows under my bum, so romantic! I then stay there for about half an hr to an hr
I agree with here's hoping though,maybe have a serious chat about what you both want to make sure youre on the same wave length, good luck

 

[TTCaWee1]

Yippie - like everyone else says, your DH does need to "go" inside of you to get preggo. I'm confused by your statement that you don't know what sex feels like? Is it that once you begin he gets off fairly quickly? Maybe try some different positions so you have more control of the situation if you know what I mean...

 

[Briss]

I agree with everything above, it's I think better if he stays in for a few minutes at least after the deed, I also try to "encourage" him to get it in quite deep as he comes so the sperm is deposited as close to cervix as possible to help little swimmers so they do not have to struggle through the acidic vagina for too long

 

[Molae06]

Not sure where the 2 of you are at this point in your marriage but the only reason for pulling out is not wanting to get someone pregnant (although a crappy form of b/c), that is the only reason in my experience. Although there is a possibility you can still get pregnant that way, it is probably for the most part very unlikely. Does your dh know you are trying to have a baby? I am not trying to be mean/rude but the I think the term "not being on the same page" might apply here. I have to admit, I was ready for children way before my husband was, although we didn't take any precautions, but in his own time he hopped on board. Hope this helps, best of luck!

 

[Myshelsong]

Hello ...
I agree with the ladies on the board here.
In order to get pregnant Sperm must meet Egg.
If he is pulling out and is releasing himself on the exterior of your body, you will have a very hard time conceiving as there is little to no sperm inside your vagina.

I think you and your husband need to do some serious talking about your sex life and having a child together. He is obviously doing this on purpose or he is very uneducated about sex and having a child, but I find that unlikely. If you have had test completed than you are speaking with a Dr. Maybe you should have him sit in on a Drs appointment so that you can both discuss how to make this happen.

I hope you figure out what you need to figure out.

 

[Yippie]

Thank you all for the responses

 

[Ss83]

hi yippie. sorry but your post had me worried so had to reply...
I don't understand...how are you ttc if you're dh isn't keen? does he know you were trying?! I can only assume he was pulling out to avoid pregnancy as presumably he knows your not on contractive pills our anything, as for a man it's much more enjoyable to orgasm whilst inside you.
you also say you don't know what sex feels like? does it not last long, or miss out foreplay?
I agree with the girls here, you need to have a serious talk about your sex life and plans for family as I can't understand why you'd go.get checked out at the docs if dh isn't trying to get you pregnant,i man you could be fine (v likely)
hope it works out for you...just remember, sex is meant to be enjoyable and special for you both. x

 

[m.knight]

Can he ejaculate in you, or can he only manage it when he has pulled out? The reason I ask is that my husband did not want to tell me for ages, because he was embarrassed, that he actually couldn't ejaculate in me. he only got pleasure from pulling out then doing it. He didn't know why, he just couldn't do it in me. So we got pregnant using a cup and a syringe. Not as sexy, but it worked after 3 tries at it. I think you need to talk to him and make sure he is being honest.