TTC Jealousy

[jjohns50]

Hey All! I found a couple similar threads to this but decided I would start my own anyway....
So I'm TTC, obviously. and today I found out a family member (who is a year older than me) is pregnant. Some people have the personalities to be parents, and some do not... It's really frustrating the way things happen sometimes. There are three of us very close in age and she will be the first to have a baby. She is also the type to say everyone does what they do because she did it first. My family does not know that I am TTC, but I feel like now even if i do get a BFP, (unless it is in the next month) It will seem like it's on purpose! It makes me want to cry just thinking about the ruse & inconsiderate things she will say when/if I finally do conceive, even if it is two years from now. I am already planning to cut myself off from that side of the family just so they don't have a chance to comment.

Any one have good tips on coping with this situation? I'm sure it has happened to a lot of you. I hate to make it sound competitive, I just know she will make it that way!

 

[_dreamer_]

Could you confide in any of your family members of your ttc journey. Then even if she says those things in the future you have them to back you up that you were ttc already.

She sounds very petty and if your family members really thought you'd just 'copied' her with something as serious as bringing a new life into the world i would be very surprised. I wouldn't cut the family off, it will be you that suffers which would be a shame. I know this is a really special time and i guess you dont want her to steal your thunder and make comments but i assure you your family will be made up for you as a separate new addition whatever the circumstances

 

[foto2426]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Can you say something like, "Congratulations! You're so lucky...we've been trying for # of months and hoping this month would be it for us. Hopefully we'll have our own announcement soon." This way she knows you've been trying even before her announcement.

 

[jjohns50]

My family doesn't know that we are TTC. I wasn't sure how supportive they would be. We don't live alone yet. Not because we don't have the money, we just haven't found the best place. However, we could easily move if we got a

Despite me feeling like they would not be very supportive, everyone seems to think it is a joke with her, even though she has no plans of moving and has a jobless SO.
I think at this point she is going to say what she's going to say. I guess all I can do to avoid comparisons is to avoid her. Thanks for your input ladies.
I hate to sound bitter about it, I just feel like I can't look forward to sharing my bfp with my family unless I want to endure constant things like "oh just like so and so".

I'm mainly bothered because she is so irresponsible and is still looked at as the more mature just because she is a few months older. And I'm sure everyone can sympathize the frustration of an accidental BFP when you are actively trying and willing to sacrifice for it.

 

[fairycat]

Try to just be happy that you are trying to create a life and ignore family drama. She sounds way too petty to even care about what she says. If you get any flack, say you've been trying for a while.