Underwhelmed and still sad

[Peach Blossom]

I mc'd 3 weeks ago. I'm now on holiday in Hong Kong a trip that we'd booked ages ago.

My Mum lives out here and the plan had been to tell her about the pregnancy when we arrived as I would have been 13 weeks by now. We had even booked a private scan for the day before we flew out so that I could have a photo to show her. When I arrived at the airport to leave the country I started to cry. I pulled myself together for most of the flight, but then started to cry again as we started to come in to land. It made me so sad that we weren't going to be doing what I had dreamed of doing.

We've been here for 6 days now and although we've done some amazing things and seen some wonderful sites I feel totally underwhelmed by it all. I feel like I'm wasting the trip, but I feel like I can't enjoy myself. All I can think about is getting pregnant again.

I know I sound ungrateful and whiny. Just wish I could enjoy it...

 

[QTPie]

I am so sorry for your loss.

You are in NO WAY sounding ungrateful or whiney.

How you feel is completely understandable: you need time - 3 weeks has been no time at all.

We hadn't really told anyone either (about the pregnancy or the miscarriage). We were going to tell people at Easter (had a dating scan booked on the 8th April). I KNOW that will be a very difficult time for us. I don't know how we will face it and how it will go (since I imagine that we will still go see husband's parents then), but I know it will be tough. SO I understand completely what you are saying.



Try taking the pressure off a bit: feeling like you "should" enjoy a holiday/trip just doesn't make you feel any better at all. Also Hong Kong is a very busy, happening, loud place: I only MC'd earlier this week, but imagine that you might still feel like "hiding somewhere quiet, peaceful and alone" (i.e. not in Hong Kong). So try and get some quiet "down" time. Look for parks, temples and quieter/calmer places to visit. Find time to sleep, relax and - if you want - mope a bit. Maybe go to a spa or something. Don't look for enjoyment, just look for a bit of peace, relaxation and time to be yourself

Big and best wishes going your way xxx

QT

 

[rachjim98]

Oh sweetie you need to just take a break form the grief.. easier said then done look who is talking

Try to enjoy this wonderful trip with your family and your time will come I know it will. , BTW, I have been trying to move on since November it is not as easy as people would lead you to believe. We just have to take everyday one at a time. And like me you too will have steps back. Life can be very hard sometimes but other times it can be great!

 

[buffycat]

oh hhunny.....i am so so sorry for your loss......

learning to live again after a mc is is difficult....i remember wanting to tell my mum on mothers day this sunday....not to be though....

i hope you get to enjoy your trip though.....

take care...

luv & hugs

 

[chella]

I mc'd 3 weeks ago. I'm now on holiday in Hong Kong a trip that we'd booked ages ago.

My Mum lives out here and the plan had been to tell her about the pregnancy when we arrived as I would have been 13 weeks by now. We had even booked a private scan for the day before we flew out so that I could have a photo to show her. When I arrived at the airport to leave the country I started to cry. I pulled myself together for most of the flight, but then started to cry again as we started to come in to land. It made me so sad that we weren't going to be doing what I had dreamed of doing.

We've been here for 6 days now and although we've done some amazing things and seen some wonderful sites I feel totally underwhelmed by it all. I feel like I'm wasting the trip, but I feel like I can't enjoy myself. All I can think about is getting pregnant again.


I know I sound ungrateful and whiny. Just wish I could enjoy it...

Hi
Just read your post, really sorry to hear ur bad news and i dont think ur bein ungrateful and whiny ur jus hurtin and i understand how u want to be pregnat again as im the same,

Wish u all the best for tryin again and hopefully soon u will find happiness again, sending big xxx

 

[Barneyboo]

Take it easy on yourself it will take time, we are here for you x x x x

 

[todteach]

I'm so so sorry hun. xox

Grieving will take some time. As I was told a miscarriage isn't something you will get over, it is something that you will learn to live with. This is still very fresh and new, your emotions are raw right now, and that's okay. Don't push yourself to feel better just because you're on a holiday. Especially since this was to be the time that you told your mom.

My husband and I went away for our EDD in November, and after dinner he had made reservations for us at a show. I just couldn't go to it........I was a complete mess. All that I wanted to do was cry. And you know what? That was okay. That's how we spent the rest of our night. And it is okay for you to feel the same way right now. Cry when you want to cry. But please don't feel guilty for feeling happy too, it's also okay for you to smile.

Sending you big Get some well deserved rest and love from your family.

 

[surreysharon]

Hi hun,

I really feel for you and understand the pain and disappointment surrounding your trip. Perhaps look at this trip as your recouperation time, the time to surround yourself with people you love and then when you return and have your first AF you can try again.

I think you'll regret not getting the most out of this trip and so just try to get through it remaining positive that when you are back you can really go for it again

Big hug sweetie x

 

[Peach Blossom]

Thanks for all your messages ladies. I really don't know where I'd be or how I'd have coped without you all.