Unsupportive family

[Xrosex]

So i havent told my family yet that im pregnant because i know their not going to be happy, im still young and i wasnt really trying to conceive but i want this baby and really i just dont want the stress of how their going to react anybody else in the same situation? Did your family come around to the idea

 

[missk1989]

I honestly thought my parents were going to be disappointed but they were so amazing!
If I were you I would tell them sooner rather than later. They will just as annoyed either way but will have more time to adjust and accept it.

 

[Xrosex]

I want to tell them i just dont want any arguments, glad your parents handled it well

 

[ClairAye]

My parents did not take the news well at all with my first. It took my mum a good few weeks before she came around to it and my dad didn't speak to me until I was just hitting 3rd tri, however when my mum phoned and told him he had a grandson he shouted 'YES!!!' and took himself out for a celebratory steak and nip at my sister's work They are both very loving and supportive grandparents.

 

[x__amour]

My parents took it differently both times. The 1st time my mother was supportive as I was 18, a legal adult, and she had her first at 15 but my father was very angry at first. He came around quickly though. For our 2nd they were both very happy and very supportive.

Your parents will come around.

 

[Xrosex]

Your so lucky your parents handled it so well! My mother had her first at 17 so you would think she would understand but she wont, i think im going to wait a while at least until after my first midwife appointment

 

[ClairAye]

I'm sure things will work out, sometimes people just need time to get their heads around such big news! Good luck for when you do tell her

 

[LovemyBubx]

I was 18 my mum didn't take it well at all & was surprised I was even going to keep the baby!

In the end my mum was there for the birth & was excited to buy baby stuff & she & my dad love her so much & were really happy when they knew about my son they are lovely grandparents

Just tell them & let it out I think it would be worse for them if you his it for a long time, good luck

 

[Xrosex]

I agree i shouldnt keep it a secret for too long im planning on telling them after my first midwife appointment in a couple weeks

 

[BabyCleo]

Good luck when you do tell them, I hope they are supportive!

 

[MyFavSurprise]

I was a little older when I got pregnant with my son, I was 22.. My mom came around right away but my dad reminded me all the time how long I had left to get an abortion, then when it was too late for that he talked about adoption. He referred to my baby as "the problem" almost the entire time.."what are you going to do about the problem?" But he came to my baby shower and started to come around at the end..and after my son was born he became the light of the family.. my dad and I have a great relationship now that we never had before, he is really the best thing that could have happened to any of us..
So even if it doesn't go great with your parents at first it could still end up being wonderful.

 

[Xrosex]

I hope so! im getting more and more nervous about telling my mum

 

[BabyCleo]

I think telling them sooner rather than later would be better. That way they wont be mad that you waited a long time to tell them.

 

[Larkspur]

I would say this is a good opportunity to practice being a "proper" adult!

At some point in growing up, you learn that other people's feelings are not your responsibility. You take ownership of your choices, and allow other people to feel how they want to feel about them, without letting it affect you too much.

That's part of maturity, accepting that other people don't have to keep you happy all the time, and you don't have to keep them happy all the time.

I would say that if you have made your choice, there's nothing to be gained by waiting to tell your parents. The sooner you tell them, the longer they have to get their heads around it.

If they are upset and saying hurtful things, you could try telling them something like, "I understand why you are upset, and I know it might take a while for you to accept my decision. I'm happy to talk with you about how I plan to afford and care for my baby, but I would like to keep it respectful. If the discussion becomes about criticising me or trying to change my mind, I will leave. If it's about figuring out the best future for me AND my baby, I'm happy to listen any time."

I'm sure you already have had thoughts around this, but it might be best to go in with a solid idea of (as above) you are going to pay for and look after your baby. That will reassure them.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I know how you feel, I was pregnant at 18 and terrified to tell my parents. I kept waiting and waiting and was well into my 2nd trimester before I told them. They took it much better than I thought. My mum was a little upset and worried (naturally) but very supportive and quite excited, my dad (who I was most scared of telling) was just happy and excited! The thing that upset them most was the fact I had waited and felt I couldn't have told them sooner.

I know it's scary but sooner is better than later, as it will give them more time to come round. Their reactions may pleasantly surprise you, but even if they are upset then it's so unlikely it will stay that way.

Let us know how you get on. xx

 

[tinkerbelle93]

If they are upset and saying hurtful things, you could try telling them something like, "I understand why you are upset, and I know it might take a while for you to accept my decision. I'm happy to talk with you about how I plan to afford and care for my baby, but I would like to keep it respectful. If the discussion becomes about criticising me or trying to change my mind, I will leave. If it's about figuring out the best future for me AND my baby, I'm happy to listen any time."

This is really good advice! I think it's important to let them know that you have thought very hard about your decision, and that you're very aware having a baby is going to be something that's very hard. I think sometimes parents jump to the conclusion that their teenager hasn't given it any thought and has an unrealistic idea of what it's going to be like having a baby which makes them more worried xx

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Hi hun I fell pregnant at 16 (23 now). My parents took is reasonably well but other relatives didn't. From my experience most parents come round in the end. Yes they may be angry at first but it will probably just be shock. Good luck

 

[marigold91]

Hi! Just some more words of encouragement here...

I was 18 when I got pregnant with my first child. I was so excited for the baby but deathly afraid of telling my parents! I eventually told them (by email... that's how much of a chicken I was! I don't recommend that method by the way, lol). My mom was disappointed and worried, but quickly became excited. My dad didn't talk to me for about 2 months. Eventually he became excited too and learned to trust in my decision making. My daughter is 5 now and the center of their world! The rough patch after telling them didn't last long and they can't imagine their lives without her now.

I know it seems like the scariest thing in the world to do but once you get it overwith you'll feel better. And just remember that even if they have a negative original reaction, it will almost certainly change and they will love your baby dearly