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[sarah_george]

Hi all, just felt the need today to write a post in here today for some reason, not sure why, ive not posted on here for a while, I miscarried at somewhere between 6 and 7 weeks not so long ago (maybe about 6 wks ago?) anyway, at the time of it all happenening I know that I couldnt face posting but felt great comfort in coming on this site, reading other peoples posts made me realise what i was feeling and going through was somewhere within the boundaries of normal, I found out by some of the stupid stuff people say in everyday life that you couldnt possibly understand what it is like to loose a baby unless you have experienced it, its heartbreakingly horrendous, I would say about 3 days after it happened I totally opened up to my DH about everything i was feeling and we cryed our eyes out the whole evening, some of the stuff i said sounded really stupid but its what i felt and I needed to get it out, I cant ever remember feeling so frustrated, angry and helpless that i knew what was coming and i couldnt stop it, its hard to accept that the way you think your life is going has gone forever and theres nothing you can do about it! In the following days I would feel fine for maybe an hour or 2 or 3 and then I would feel totally grief stricken to the degree that I wondered if I would ever get any kind of normality back into my life ever again! Well i guess the reason for this post is to let others know that I have managed to and the only solution is you have to give yourself time to grieve, tiny sentance but true, I thought I should be strong and the fact that it was an early miscarriage meant I should just get over it in a day or two, I did a lot of dreaming in those few weeks where i knew I was pregnant and all that planning then unplanning took a while to get my head around....
The only way I have found to come to terms with my MC is to assume that there must have been some disastrous defect with the baby, I dont know how you would ever come to terms with loosing a healthy baby. now 6 weeks has passed and I have also had my first AF and am back on the TTC rollercoaster (mad how much you want to dtd after a MC ) and although I'm guilty of the odd moment of "I should be X wks Pregnant" I am looking forward to the future and hoping I will be lucky enough to get PG again although I will never take anything for granted again, if this post has been of any help to anyone going through such a helpless lonely time than it was worth writing (I nearly deleted it about 4 times)
Bless you all Sarah_George x x x

 

[dawny690]

Sorry for your loss hun, its hard to lose a baby. I had a natural mc 1st april at 5wks so know how your feeling, but life goes on hun, and our babies are watching over us waiting til we get our sticky 's then they will go and play with the other angels. I hope you get your well deserved sticky very soon and you have your in your arms xx

 

[babezone]

sorry for loss hun. and good luck in the future with ttc x x x

 

[NickyT75]

Hiya hun

Sorry for your loss but glad you're feeling a bit more positive

it's such a cruel world sometimes isn't it? Hopefully our terrible experiences will make us stronger people & I know we'll get our much wanted, much loved babies soon Take care xx

 

[maccy]

So sorry for your loss, this site has been my saviour and I know that someone else as well as me will be reading your post feeling what you are feeling and hopefully I too have helped someone with my experiences.

That thing of supposed to be x weeks pregnant is getting to me too at times, I don't know how I'm gonna be when the babies due date is here, but hopefully I'll have a bump by then and I know that I have to look to the future now the past is too distressing. x

 

[Happyabi]

I too have been thinking every monday usually as that was when i had my 12 week scan and told me baby had died at 8 weeks again.. I said to my OH Mondy its been 3 weeks sine we found out and he said it seems like ages ago - but for me it only seems like a few days ago...

Thank god we have each other on here to know we are not alone...

Abi xx

 

[Vickie]

So sorry for your loss

 

[Sweatpea24]

Sorry for your loss! If you ever need to talk you can always send me a private message. I mc 6wks 2days ago when I was 9wks. I'm still waiting for AF.

 

[porkpie1981]

good luck with ttc

 

[WW1]

Thanks for writing this, Sarah. It really helps to hear the experience of others. As Maccy also said, this forum has really helped me and I feel much better for knowing that my feelings are not "abnormal".

I'm so sorry for your loss but really admire your positive attitude - I wish you a sticky bean very, very soon.

 

[sarah_george]

Thanks for your feedback guys, I didnt expect any really, Just thought I may be able to give a glimmer of hope to anyone who is going through the despair this experience can cause, you do get through it it just takes time, Patience has never been my strongest character trait tho, what doesnt break you makes you stronger they say and i believe this to be true, sorry for all your losses, hugs to you all, its hard to end this post on a positive note, all i can say is try to be strong, the dark moments do pass, you will get through it, promise x x