USA child support experience?

[Desi's_lost]

My FOB is really really really shitty. He cut all contact thanks to family pressure and his cowardice at about 6-8 weeks. I've had zero contact from him other than seeing him out where he literally ran the opposite way. The last words off him were threats to take LO out of spite cos I kept her. Through a mediator his parents even tried to offer me $10k if I had an "a".

Well, financially I'm in a really shit position and in order to seek cash assistance, I would have to cooperate with my state in seeking child support. Seeing I haven't attempted to claim CS in the past three years, it's something that causes me a lot of anxiety. I don't want him involved. I don't want him coming in and trying to be a part of her family or to try to hurt us. I mean, these are the type of people who can buy away wreckless driving charges.

He was very emotionally abusive during our relationship, always threatening to kill himself. Wouldn't let me have friends, cut himself. I don't really have any proof of all that though :/

So anyway..has anyone gone through the system and have any advise or anything?

 

[Dream.dream]

I'm a paralegal in Canada but know a bit about the American system .Unfortunately if you need the assistance you do have to file the child support . The government won't give you money to help support your child if there is another able bodied parent to do it . So you either have to find a way with out the support or let them try for child support on him

If they go for child support that doesn't mean he'll get to take her , he may get visitation but he could get that if he wanted anyways even with out paying

The system is really crummy , but If he pushes for visiti make sure you fight to have them supervised and he'll most likely just give up anyways

 

[Desi's_lost]

I know he has little chance of taking her but I don't even want him to see her. Why should he? He very clearly has no interest in her. And he couldn't get visitation without proving paternity and then I would be given the option of child support.

I really don't know what to do.

 

[M0mmy0f2]

I live in PA...Do you have full custody of your daughter? If you dont have full custody and get him on support the only way he will get visitation is if he says something...If you have full custody you dont gotta worry about them saying he can see her...But he still gotta pay support...Now unless hes incarcerted or disabled he doesnt have to pay support...Hope my info helped and good luck!

 

[M0mmy0f2]

I live in PA...Do you have full custody of your daughter? If you dont have full custody and get him on support the only way he will get visitation is if he says something...If you have full custody you dont gotta worry about them saying he can see her...But he still gotta pay support...Now unless hes incarcerted or disabled he doesnt have to pay support...Hope my info helped and good luck!

sorry unless hes incarcerated!!!

 

[Desi's_lost]

I do have full costudy. I'm just worried he'll be vindictive and try to hurt me by going through her.

 

[M0mmy0f2]

I do have full costudy. I'm just worried he'll be vindictive and try to hurt me by going through her.

If he hasnt bothered or seen her in a long time I dont think he would do that...BUT you know how he is so I have no idea...Thank god you have full custody though...

 

[Iwillbepreggo]

r u in CA?
I am and know for a fact just because you file for child support does not mean anything it only provides money to the child there are no required visits or anything like that it has NOTHING to do with custody issues or visitation issues thats a totally separate department

If he really wants to do that he has to go out on his own time and file for child visitaion again different department from child support but he most likely wont do that its a big hassel and he doesnt seem at all intersted and even if he did, it does not affect your child support

And theres no way in hell he would ever get custody! your the mom whos been taking care of her all her life they would never give him custody!

so dont woryy about it file for your cash aide and child support do it for your daughter he doesnt need to see her ever

 

[Desi's_lost]

Him and his family are very vindictive. Thus far, they have been able to pretend nothing happened and that she doesn't exist. Perfect for them. That's why I'm worried about him going through the trouble of attempting visitation because I have the nerve to expect money from him.

I have to sit down with OH still..I keep putting it off, and also call up dss and ask them to walk me through more of the process but I'm feeling a little more comfortable now. I live in CT.

 

[babycrazy1706]

Good luck. Xx

 

[44npregnant]

I hope everything works out for you. I'll be going through this same predicament when I have my little one.

 

[aidensxmomma]

In Wisconsin, child support and visitation/custody have absolutely nothing to do with each other. So if it's the same in your state, then he would have to go through all the trouble of seeking out the agency and filing all the paperwork and going to court to change the custody/visitation. Odds are even if he tried to get visitation just to spite you, he probably wouldn't make it through the whole process.

Good luck with everything, hun.