Vent - fussy 2 month old, feeling guilty for getting upset

[pradabooties]

Hi ladies
I just need to vent more than anything... I don't have any mum friends so this is all I have!

I had a ROUGH day today. It started out great, my little one decided to take her morning nap in her cot next to our bed (normally she cries to get up so she can nap in her carrier) which let me lay in til 10am! So can't complain on that front but since then the day was awful. I'm not sure if this little change of routine somehow did it but she only had a couple of naps after that... One lasting only 7 minutes. And she was SO overtired. The carrier usually works no matter what but she just kept getting frustrated and squashing her nose against it which then worried me so I kept trying to reposition her with no success.

All this made me hot and sweaty and pretty frustrated! And she was frustrated too. I bathed and took her to bed an hour earlier than normal at 6pm and after putting some Mozart on and feeding her she's finally drifted off. Now I feel AWFUL for how irritated I felt today. She's the best thing in the world to me and I would hate to think that she could tell I was annoyed at her. I didn't yell or anything like that but I was certainly taking her out of her carrier faster than normal (not dangerously at all, but I'm usually slow and very gentle) and swore a few times under my breath which I NEVER do. At one point when I placed her on my bed while I took the carrier off me she made the saddest little face, I was clearly not being my softly spoken smiling normal mama self and she was noticing. I feel so bad for letting her crying bother me so much normally when she has a rare fussy day and gets overtired the carrier works every time and my husband had the pram in his car at work so I couldn't take her for a walk either! And my husband doesn't get home from work until close to midnight every day which makes it a bit harder. Feeling horrible.

 

[minties]

Please don't feel horrible, you sound like a perfectly normal mum and I must have had at least 500 days much like this myself. She won't know or remember anything, and you can't expect to be perfectly calm and happy all the time - you're only human!

 

[SpringCrane]

Oh gosh, please don't be so hard on yourself. I remember feeling the same the first few times I lost my patience. The guilt... ugh! I still lose my patience (who doesn't with a 2.5 y/o??) but I've learned to remember I'm only human. She obviously won't understand yet, but I felt it was cathartic to apologize to my son even he was too young to understand. I also found it helped to narrate what baby and I were feeling--that seemed to help me from getting too frustrated and irritated. "Mommy's losing her mind, honey! I know you're sleepy. If you don't sleep soon we're both going to go bananas. Let's figure this out. Blah blah blah..." Maybe I'm just big on talking to myself, ha!

 

[Bevziibubble]

You are only human. Being a mother can be hard and the crying is enough to drive anyone to distraction!

 

[pradabooties]

Ah I feel better now! Thank you yes I felt so guilty and yep just like you springcrane I made a point to apologise to her haha. I think you could be onto something talking through the frustration, because when you're at that point you kind of feel like you're imploding so it would probably be soothing to talk it out!

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Oh hun I get upset when Zodi fusses in the middle of the night after feeding him for an hr straight. I don't hurt him but I can be very quick in my movements and a little more firm getting him on the nipple.


You're a perfectly normal mama don't even worry about it

 

[_Meep_]

Oh my, there were times I threatened to throw my newborn out of the window! I've also raised my voice in her presence more times than I would care to admit and quite frequently become frustrated, angry, upset etc. even now.

Being a mum, particularly to a young baby, is HARD. Especially if you are worried by a certain change or behaviour.

Babies are so unpredictable. I'd challenge any mum not to feel overwhelmed at times. But the great thing about them is they have no concept of holding a grudge or loving us any less for the times that we fail. They are cute and tiny and trusting for a reason - because it makes it so much less likely that we, as parents, could ever do them any harm.

As long as you're doing your best, then it's ok. You'll still be the absolute centre of your baby's universe - in fact, she'll never remember that you were a bit off.

Watch for how she smiles when you prepare to pick her up in the mornings, or show her something that she likes - those are the things that she remembers and eagerly anticipates.

Mothering comes with a huge fat packet of guilt - when I feel like I've let myself or my daughter down I tell myself that she will likely more than pay me back as a teenager, and that helps!

 

[MyFavSurprise]

Like everyone else has said, we are only human and being a mommy is hard!! I always make a point to apologize to my older boy and show him respect when I know I've been wrong. There are so many things i thought I could never feel before I became a mom, like being irritated by my baby. What really helps me is singing to him when things get hard, it doesn't always help the crying but it sure helps me stay calmer!