jessie_m
Mom to Aubrey and Max
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2010
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I'm just going to warn again that I had a very traumatizing labor and delivery, so if you're afraid of giving birth I wouldn't read this. It has a happy ending though, and that's what is most important.
Thursday 8/25
I had my last doctor appointment this day and had a third sweep. I was pretty achey for the rest of the day, but that is usually how I feel after getting a sweep, so I didn't think anything of it. The doctor and I set a date for an induction during this visit because my high risk doctor wasn't really wanting me to go past 41 weeks, so if Aubrey wasn't here by the 2nd, then that's when I would be induced.
I went home that day and did the usual home work, chores, etc. That evening Mark and I did some more home work and studying together, and decided we had been sitting at the table for too long and we wanted to go on a walk. I hadn't been doing much walking in the last part of my pregnancy because it hurt my hips so bad and my feet were so swollen that it hurt to walk, but for some reason I felt like I needed a walk, so we took a nice long walk. When we got back home we did some more home work and i read out of my text book. I was standing up, leaning over the table, and had my legs open and was swaying my hips and doing a few squats. Again, not something I normally did because it hurt so badly. Went to bed about 11pm.
Friday 8/26
I had only been asleep for about 2 hours when I woke up about 1am. I opened my eyes and not even 2 seconds later my waters broke. It took me by surprise, but I immediately knew what happened. I woke up Mark and told him to get me a towel I had felt a lot of liquid come out, so I figured that was the maoraty of my waters, but when Mark handed me the towel and I got on my knees in bed TONS more came out. I told Mark to go back to sleep while I cleaned myself up because I figured we had a while to wait before going to the hospital. I got in the shower and shaved my legs, washed my hair, and changed into some comfy clothes. At the time I honestly could not think about what I was supposed to do. This is when the contractions started to kick in. And hard. At this point it was like 1:15 am and my contractions were coming 30-60 seconds long every 3-5 minutes. I noticed that I only felt them in my back, but I didnt really think anything of it because I had been having a lot of back cramos my whole pregnancy. I figured they would move to the front eventually.
I woke Mark up and we packed up our bags or the hospital, got the car seat ready, and decided to watch tv. I tried to hold out as long as I could before going to the hospital, but at around 2:15 ish the contractions started to get pretty aggressive and more painful, still only felt them in my back.
We got to the hospital around 3am and I got checked in and what not. When they checked me I was 2 cm which is what I had been since 37 weeks (I was over 39 at this point) but I figured I had only been in labor a little over 2 hours, so I still had time to progress. Labor got progressively worse and worse STILL all in my back and each contraction hurt so terribly bad that it made me shake. After I was checked they determined that the baby was facing the wrong way and was causing me to have back labor. Ugh.
At this point the concept of time was nonexistent to me, so Im not exactly sure about the specifics, but Ill do the best I can. I got checked again at 8am and was still only 2cm. got checked again a few hours later and had progressed to 3.5 cm, so Im thinking that this was around noon-ish, maybe a bit later am. I was happy that I had made progress, but I was trying to hold out until 4 or 5 cm to get the epidural. Over the next few hours I tried walking around the room, leaning over things and swaying my hips getting on all fours, ANYTHING to make the baby turn around.
I was checked a few hours later, and despite all of my effort, I was STILL only 3.5 cm and Aubrey was STILL facing the wrong way. I couldnt take the pain anymore, so I told them to go ahead and do the epidural. The shot to numb my back ended up making me cry, but other than that it wasnt too bad of an experience. A waited the specified amount of time, and noticed that I was still feeling contractions on my left side (or maybe it was my right . Im really tired). Either way, I started to panic thinking that the epidural wasnt going to work. Over the next several hours I was put in several different positions, had my dosage upped several times, given pain killers through my IV, had pitocin started to give my contractions some motivation, several things to try to make the baby face the right way, and to get the pain to go away.
My doctor came in around 9pm to check me again. I figured I had to be at least 5 or 6 cm with all the pain I was in and all the work I did. So she checked me, and . STILL 3.5 fucking cm. At this point I had been in labor since around 1am, so around 20 hours, and I had only progressed 1.5 cm since I came in at 2. The doctor told me that she was going to give me one more hour, and if I hadnt made any progress then we would have to start talking about a C-section. That next hour crawled by but I did everything I could to make the baby turn from laying in extremely uncomfortable laboring positions to meditating and talking to my baby and BEGGING her to move into the right position so I didnt have to have a C- section. After my hour was up and I was checked again I was found to be only 3.5 cm still and it was decided that a C-section was the best option. The doctor offered to leave me until the next morning to labor, but I was in so much pain with the epi not working, I hadnt eaten all day, I was going on only 2 hours of sleep, and as time went by the risk of infection increased since my waters had broken.
Mark was taken to get dressed in scrubs and I was taken into the operating room where they prepared me for surgery. I remember lying on that table and being really mad. I wasnt really scared like I thought I would be, I was just mad that things hadnt gone the way I wanted them to, but I was excited because it meant that I would get to meet my daughter very soon. They put the curtain up and after a while they told me that they were going to test to make sure the numbing medicine was working. I felt a sharp sting on my stomach and couldnt help but let out a scream. I could feel it. They told me that they were going to up the meds and test again. A few minutes later I felt the same sting and screamed again. They told me that the anesthesia was obviously not working like it should so they were going to have to put me under to do the C-section.
Now I was pissed. Not at the doctors, but at the situation. First the baby was facing the wrong way causing horribly painful back labor, then the epidural that I had to get earlier that didnt work, and the position of her head along with the way she was facing caused me to not progress with my labor which caused me to get a C-section where the anesthesia for that didnt work and I had to be put under. One thing after another kept going wrong. And now that I was going to have to be put under they informed me that I wasnt going to get to see my daughter until tomorrow because I would be to drugged up. I was trying not to cry out of anger and frustration and then they put the nozzle on my face and told me to take some deep breaths.
This part of the story I was asleep for, but this is what Ive heard from other peoples point of views. Mark says that he waited out in the hall for what seemed like an eternity when a nurse finally came out and told him the situation and that he wouldnt be allowed to be in the operating room with me. They did the surgery and they finally let him in the room after she was out. They cleaned her and he got to take a few pictures. They moved her to the nursery and he got to hold her and sho her to my amily through the nursery window.
Congrats if youve made it this far into my birth story, but I have to warn you that at this point the story gets pretty graphic and scary.
I dont remember falling asleep for the surgery, and I barely remember waking up, but I remember hearing someone say your baby is beautiful Jessica, you did a good job. And then I was back out. Then I woke up, but I couldnt open my eyes. The first thing I remember is trying to open them, but my eyelids felt like lead weights. Then all of a sudden I felt some of the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. For some reason I was under the impression that the spot where they did the c-section would be numb, but it wasnt. Not even a little bit. I immediately started sobbing, still couldnt open my eyes, and saying over and over again, it hurts why does it hurt please someone help me someone make it stop I started. A nurse was in the room and I could hear her moving around the room and not answering any of my questions. The pain got worse and worse. It felt like someone had ripped my skin open, and I guess they did in a sense. I kept sobbing harder and harder until I started to cough. Every time I coughed it felt like my incision was going to rip open so it hurt worse which made me cry harder and cough more. I guess someone (my mom?) told Mark to come and talk to me. I still couldnt open my eyes, but he held my hand and talked to me. I was still sobbing and asking why it hurt so bad and why no one would help me when the nurse came over and pushed down hard on my stomach. Now, I know that this is something that they need to do to help my uterus, but she did this without giving me any warning. This was the most horrible, most intense pain I have ever felt in my life. Not only was my incision already screaming with pain, but then she pushes down right next to it! It felt like she was tearing my stomach open and I could feel blood shoot out of my vagina. I cried and screamed so loud that my family said they could hear me down the hall. The only thing that this nurse told me was to calm down and breath slower. She then told me that she needed to push on my uterus again and that I better not squirt blood on her again. She then said to Mark, Look how much she bled on me! as if accusing me of doing something horrible. She pushed on my uterus again and I felt more pain and more blood pour out of me.
She left the room and it was just Mark and I. I was still sobbing uncontrollably about the pain I was in and Mark told me how beautiful our daughter was. The pain was so bad that I had forgotten that I had just given birth. This was the best thing that Mark could have done for me. she has your hair, and your ears. This made the pain go away and now all I wanted was to hold my daughter. Mark told me he had a picture of her, so for the first time I opened my eyes which was incredibly difficult, but then I got to lay eyes on my daughter for the first time. Mark stayed by my side and told me about her for a while, and eventually I fell asleep, but I dont remember it.
Saturday 8/27/11
I woke up the next morning groggy as hell and in so much pain still, but they brought Aubrey to me and I got to hold her for the first time. I ended up staying in the hospital from 3 am Friday to 6 pm Monday. Were home now and Im healing very well, although still in more pain than I thought I would be. But mine and Marks daughter is healthy, happy, and just the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to us. I would go through the pain a million times over and a million times worse for her.
The first picture is the very first picture I ever saw of her, the second is Mark showing my family the color of her hair through the window, and the third is me and her cuddling.
Thursday 8/25
I had my last doctor appointment this day and had a third sweep. I was pretty achey for the rest of the day, but that is usually how I feel after getting a sweep, so I didn't think anything of it. The doctor and I set a date for an induction during this visit because my high risk doctor wasn't really wanting me to go past 41 weeks, so if Aubrey wasn't here by the 2nd, then that's when I would be induced.
I went home that day and did the usual home work, chores, etc. That evening Mark and I did some more home work and studying together, and decided we had been sitting at the table for too long and we wanted to go on a walk. I hadn't been doing much walking in the last part of my pregnancy because it hurt my hips so bad and my feet were so swollen that it hurt to walk, but for some reason I felt like I needed a walk, so we took a nice long walk. When we got back home we did some more home work and i read out of my text book. I was standing up, leaning over the table, and had my legs open and was swaying my hips and doing a few squats. Again, not something I normally did because it hurt so badly. Went to bed about 11pm.
Friday 8/26
I had only been asleep for about 2 hours when I woke up about 1am. I opened my eyes and not even 2 seconds later my waters broke. It took me by surprise, but I immediately knew what happened. I woke up Mark and told him to get me a towel I had felt a lot of liquid come out, so I figured that was the maoraty of my waters, but when Mark handed me the towel and I got on my knees in bed TONS more came out. I told Mark to go back to sleep while I cleaned myself up because I figured we had a while to wait before going to the hospital. I got in the shower and shaved my legs, washed my hair, and changed into some comfy clothes. At the time I honestly could not think about what I was supposed to do. This is when the contractions started to kick in. And hard. At this point it was like 1:15 am and my contractions were coming 30-60 seconds long every 3-5 minutes. I noticed that I only felt them in my back, but I didnt really think anything of it because I had been having a lot of back cramos my whole pregnancy. I figured they would move to the front eventually.
I woke Mark up and we packed up our bags or the hospital, got the car seat ready, and decided to watch tv. I tried to hold out as long as I could before going to the hospital, but at around 2:15 ish the contractions started to get pretty aggressive and more painful, still only felt them in my back.
We got to the hospital around 3am and I got checked in and what not. When they checked me I was 2 cm which is what I had been since 37 weeks (I was over 39 at this point) but I figured I had only been in labor a little over 2 hours, so I still had time to progress. Labor got progressively worse and worse STILL all in my back and each contraction hurt so terribly bad that it made me shake. After I was checked they determined that the baby was facing the wrong way and was causing me to have back labor. Ugh.
At this point the concept of time was nonexistent to me, so Im not exactly sure about the specifics, but Ill do the best I can. I got checked again at 8am and was still only 2cm. got checked again a few hours later and had progressed to 3.5 cm, so Im thinking that this was around noon-ish, maybe a bit later am. I was happy that I had made progress, but I was trying to hold out until 4 or 5 cm to get the epidural. Over the next few hours I tried walking around the room, leaning over things and swaying my hips getting on all fours, ANYTHING to make the baby turn around.
I was checked a few hours later, and despite all of my effort, I was STILL only 3.5 cm and Aubrey was STILL facing the wrong way. I couldnt take the pain anymore, so I told them to go ahead and do the epidural. The shot to numb my back ended up making me cry, but other than that it wasnt too bad of an experience. A waited the specified amount of time, and noticed that I was still feeling contractions on my left side (or maybe it was my right . Im really tired). Either way, I started to panic thinking that the epidural wasnt going to work. Over the next several hours I was put in several different positions, had my dosage upped several times, given pain killers through my IV, had pitocin started to give my contractions some motivation, several things to try to make the baby face the right way, and to get the pain to go away.
My doctor came in around 9pm to check me again. I figured I had to be at least 5 or 6 cm with all the pain I was in and all the work I did. So she checked me, and . STILL 3.5 fucking cm. At this point I had been in labor since around 1am, so around 20 hours, and I had only progressed 1.5 cm since I came in at 2. The doctor told me that she was going to give me one more hour, and if I hadnt made any progress then we would have to start talking about a C-section. That next hour crawled by but I did everything I could to make the baby turn from laying in extremely uncomfortable laboring positions to meditating and talking to my baby and BEGGING her to move into the right position so I didnt have to have a C- section. After my hour was up and I was checked again I was found to be only 3.5 cm still and it was decided that a C-section was the best option. The doctor offered to leave me until the next morning to labor, but I was in so much pain with the epi not working, I hadnt eaten all day, I was going on only 2 hours of sleep, and as time went by the risk of infection increased since my waters had broken.
Mark was taken to get dressed in scrubs and I was taken into the operating room where they prepared me for surgery. I remember lying on that table and being really mad. I wasnt really scared like I thought I would be, I was just mad that things hadnt gone the way I wanted them to, but I was excited because it meant that I would get to meet my daughter very soon. They put the curtain up and after a while they told me that they were going to test to make sure the numbing medicine was working. I felt a sharp sting on my stomach and couldnt help but let out a scream. I could feel it. They told me that they were going to up the meds and test again. A few minutes later I felt the same sting and screamed again. They told me that the anesthesia was obviously not working like it should so they were going to have to put me under to do the C-section.
Now I was pissed. Not at the doctors, but at the situation. First the baby was facing the wrong way causing horribly painful back labor, then the epidural that I had to get earlier that didnt work, and the position of her head along with the way she was facing caused me to not progress with my labor which caused me to get a C-section where the anesthesia for that didnt work and I had to be put under. One thing after another kept going wrong. And now that I was going to have to be put under they informed me that I wasnt going to get to see my daughter until tomorrow because I would be to drugged up. I was trying not to cry out of anger and frustration and then they put the nozzle on my face and told me to take some deep breaths.
This part of the story I was asleep for, but this is what Ive heard from other peoples point of views. Mark says that he waited out in the hall for what seemed like an eternity when a nurse finally came out and told him the situation and that he wouldnt be allowed to be in the operating room with me. They did the surgery and they finally let him in the room after she was out. They cleaned her and he got to take a few pictures. They moved her to the nursery and he got to hold her and sho her to my amily through the nursery window.
Congrats if youve made it this far into my birth story, but I have to warn you that at this point the story gets pretty graphic and scary.
I dont remember falling asleep for the surgery, and I barely remember waking up, but I remember hearing someone say your baby is beautiful Jessica, you did a good job. And then I was back out. Then I woke up, but I couldnt open my eyes. The first thing I remember is trying to open them, but my eyelids felt like lead weights. Then all of a sudden I felt some of the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. For some reason I was under the impression that the spot where they did the c-section would be numb, but it wasnt. Not even a little bit. I immediately started sobbing, still couldnt open my eyes, and saying over and over again, it hurts why does it hurt please someone help me someone make it stop I started. A nurse was in the room and I could hear her moving around the room and not answering any of my questions. The pain got worse and worse. It felt like someone had ripped my skin open, and I guess they did in a sense. I kept sobbing harder and harder until I started to cough. Every time I coughed it felt like my incision was going to rip open so it hurt worse which made me cry harder and cough more. I guess someone (my mom?) told Mark to come and talk to me. I still couldnt open my eyes, but he held my hand and talked to me. I was still sobbing and asking why it hurt so bad and why no one would help me when the nurse came over and pushed down hard on my stomach. Now, I know that this is something that they need to do to help my uterus, but she did this without giving me any warning. This was the most horrible, most intense pain I have ever felt in my life. Not only was my incision already screaming with pain, but then she pushes down right next to it! It felt like she was tearing my stomach open and I could feel blood shoot out of my vagina. I cried and screamed so loud that my family said they could hear me down the hall. The only thing that this nurse told me was to calm down and breath slower. She then told me that she needed to push on my uterus again and that I better not squirt blood on her again. She then said to Mark, Look how much she bled on me! as if accusing me of doing something horrible. She pushed on my uterus again and I felt more pain and more blood pour out of me.
She left the room and it was just Mark and I. I was still sobbing uncontrollably about the pain I was in and Mark told me how beautiful our daughter was. The pain was so bad that I had forgotten that I had just given birth. This was the best thing that Mark could have done for me. she has your hair, and your ears. This made the pain go away and now all I wanted was to hold my daughter. Mark told me he had a picture of her, so for the first time I opened my eyes which was incredibly difficult, but then I got to lay eyes on my daughter for the first time. Mark stayed by my side and told me about her for a while, and eventually I fell asleep, but I dont remember it.
Saturday 8/27/11
I woke up the next morning groggy as hell and in so much pain still, but they brought Aubrey to me and I got to hold her for the first time. I ended up staying in the hospital from 3 am Friday to 6 pm Monday. Were home now and Im healing very well, although still in more pain than I thought I would be. But mine and Marks daughter is healthy, happy, and just the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to us. I would go through the pain a million times over and a million times worse for her.
The first picture is the very first picture I ever saw of her, the second is Mark showing my family the color of her hair through the window, and the third is me and her cuddling.
One thing I don't understand is why they didn't give you painkillers for the pain? Also why on earth was the nurse pushing on your uterus when you'd just had a c-section??? That's awful! I had a c-section and it was nothing like that...I didn't feel any pain at all until the painkillers started to wear off and then they would give me more. None of the nurses pushed down on my uterus either - that would have been extremely painful. I would seriously question the hospital on what happened during and after your surgery because it sounds wrong.
she is beautiful xx
