Waiting it out - How long does it take?

[SarahBear]

Is there anyone here who "waited it out" when it comes to your kids independently falling asleep? Unless she falls asleep quickly, I haven't been nursing Violet to sleep lately because pregnancy and minimal "milk" has made me a bit sensitive. I can only stand the nursing for so long. Anyway, when I cut her off last night, she HAD to be on me and it was driving me nuts. I left the room and she called for me once or twice, but settled quite easily on her own. Usually if I leave the room to get something or to go pee one last time before going to bed, she calls for me repeatedly. The one or two times I tried letting her settle on her own, she didn't. I was surprised that she actually settled. I don't expect this to be the start of her settling. I expect it's a fluke, but it did get me wondering. If you "wait out" a child's dependence on you for falling asleep, how long does it generally take for them to be able to fall asleep on their own? I know you probably can't answer that question, which is why I'm just asking about personal experiences. So have you, or someone you know, "waited out" this phase, rather than training your kid out of it? How old were they when they could get to sleep alone?

P.S. I was going to post this in the toddler section, but thought that perhaps it might take longer than toddlerhood! So, I posted it here.

 

[pandacub]

He started falling asleep independently when he was 2 yrs 2 months after I stopped nursing to sleep but he didnt sttn until 3 1/2 and only now does is sttn a more regular occurrence. I know you didnt ask about sleeping through, but thought I'd just add it in

 

[kosh]

stalking!

He started falling asleep independently when he was 2 yrs 2 months after I stopped nursing to sleep but he didnt sttn until 3 1/2 and only now does is sttn a more regular occurrence. I know you didnt ask about sleeping through, but thought I'd just add it in

can I ask you - how did you stop nursing to sleep? I mean, did you rock him to sleep instead, your OH did bedtime, etc? did you stop BF at all?
thanks

 

[pandacub]

I just cuddled him instead and offered milk in a cup (he was not impressed at first!) I was so reluctant to do it because it was easy to settle him back to sleep with some boob but I was surprised how easily he accepted it. Don't get me wrong, the first night was horrid! But he soon got used to it and stopped waking every 45 minutes.
I'm not with FOB though, but if I was I would have probably handed bedtime duty over to him instead.

 

[RachA]

This isn't my own experience but a family member. She lay down with all 4 of hers to get them to sleep. The youngest is 2 1/2 and is cuddled to sleep. The next one was somewhere between 5 and 6 1/2 when she self settled and tbh even now she prefers it if her mum lays down with her.
The other 2 I'm not sure but somewhere around the 4 years mark.

If I was you I wouldn't treat it like a fluke. If you expect her to not settle then she probably won't. Depending on her understanding you can tell her that she's done it before so can do it again.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Ds1 was rocked to sleep until 3(!) And then at 3.5 he started going and getting in his bed with his milk cup and fell asleep after a story.

Dd was always fed to sleep and fell asleep independently by age 4.

Its such a small space of time they need us. My children now have NO sleep issues and sleep more and better than other kids I know who were probably better as toddlers

 

[SarahBear]

Ds1 was rocked to sleep until 3(!) And then at 3.5 he started going and getting in his bed with his milk cup and fell asleep after a story.

Dd was always fed to sleep and fell asleep independently by age 4.

Its such a small space of time they need us. My children now have NO sleep issues and sleep more and better than other kids I know who were probably better as toddlers

This is the pattern I've heard about! Hopefully it proves true for my kids too!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I cant remember the day it happened,was very gradual but ive never done any training really i think just with age an understanding about this is bedtime etc etc

 

[fluffpuffin]

Isla learned it by around 3 years of age though I had to force the issue a little. By that I mean I said I'd come back to check on her in a bit as I've got housework to do. Usually she would then go to sleep by herself. It helped putting music on in her room as well...gave her a comfort. I weaned her off the music a few weeks ago and now she's OK. We have a strict routine though and she relies on that plus not being overtired helps.

 

[hattiehippo]

My DS comes and goes with going to sleep on his own.

We had a patch from 3 to 4 where about 75% of the time we could leave his room and as long as he could hear us around upstairs he would be ok. Since turning 4 he's been more clingy again and he doesn't like being left on his own to go to sleep....worries a lot about monsters or the dark or the noises outside if it's windy etc.

It's not a huge problem for us as we only have 1 to consider but with more I'm guessing it would be more difficult especially if they both/all wanted someone with them as they went to sleep.

 

[Desi's_lost]

DD is a bit behind socially/speech wise and we've had some other bumps, moving home twice but at 4 she usually wants to be cuddled so sleep. Occasionally she'll fall asleep on her own if we put on a tv show she isn't interested (sleeping arrangements are not the best here. Hopefully we'll be moving this summer). I suspect that she will expect to keep being cuddled to sleep by me or OH until DS is old enough to sleep in their own room with her. If he'll tolerate that. As of now I think he will want his own bed and be a tad more independent that she is. Dunno yet.