want my tubes tied but drs say no - UK

[aimee-lou]

Hi all. After 3 babies we are done. I can't handle hormonal contraception as it causes my depression to flare up and i can't have a coil due to scar tissue from 3 births. My Hubby and i are currently using condoms or 'pull and pray' but this is not good for my nerves lol. I have mentioned being sterilized a few times and the Dr just fobs me off saying it's not effective or i'll change my mind or i should get Hubby to do it instead. I want it done so i can maintain control of my body.... I shouldn't have another baby as really my health wouldn't cope. It's not an option to send Hubby as he's horribly phobia of drs and this is what i want. Yet.... Every time i bring it up they for me off. How can i persuade them?

 

[noon_child]

You've just got to be pushy and determined - don't mention it in passing, make a specific appointment where you discuss it in depth. No doctor should be putting your health at risk by allowing you to do "pull and pray" as a chosen method of contraception.

My MIL had her tubes tied at a young age after just one baby because she pushed and pushed for it citing her mental health as the primary issue.

I understand why he'd be pushing for vasectomy because it is so much simpler/quicker with less recovery time and I think it is easier to test whether it has worked properly.

I'm not a doctor so I don't know why he says tube tyng isn't effective. However I think there is a period of recovery before they can test whether it has worked properly and during that time you MUST abstain or use condoms. Does your doctor think you wont manage this because you are currently not always using condoms? It is a very big risk to your health to get pregnant after an only partially successful tube tie.

Make another appointment and push your reasons AND push your doctor to fully explain his concerns. If they seem petty then get another doctor!

 

[jodiex]

How old are u? Hope you dont mind me asking.
Im getting it done even though they wasn't happy about it and I wekte to multiple drs regarding it.
Im 24 and have got two kids I know im done .
I said about my mental health problem (pnd). I said that if I got pregnant again they'll be responsible for what happens to me. (A bit ott but it worked)

As for it not being effective the new coil that is out is more effective . That is what one dr told me anyway. X

 

[aimee-lou]

I'm 30. I have hypothyroidism and periodic bouts of depression. Since having babies i've been nothing but ill including 2 teeth extracted and glue ear!! I can totally understand that its expensive to reverse but i know i don't want that. My family also has a history of early menopause so i know i will be infertile by 40. That's 10 years away though and i just want to tick the box without causing problems to my mental health with the pill and what not, and without every month running a gauntlet of split condoms ( happened last month) etc. My Dr seems convinced i'll want another child but we're adamant we're complete. I am going to try for a different Dr and take it from there but the nurse there too said they rarely refer people for it if ever nowadays.

 

[Rachel_C]

Is going private an option?

 

[aimee-lou]

Is going private an option?

I have looked into it. Would cost about £1600 which isn't bad but a lot more than i can afford. I'll start saving and keep pushing and see which i get first lol.

 

[seoj]

Just tell them this is what you want. Period. And who should you call to make the appointment... it's YOUR body, and you should have control over your birth control method! Period.

I wish it was easier over there to just call the right place and make the appt- no referral needed. It seems more often than not you need a GP referral for just about anything... ?

Best of luck hun! I thought about that option too- I just don't want to go through it (yet) and lucky birth control works well I can't ask hubby to do it (again) since he had the initial vasectomy well before we ever met- then 2 reversals to TTC our daughter... haha. He'd NOT be happy about it-- although, I honestly think if I really asked him to he would... I just can't!