Was it planned?

[jeniwi]

I am 41 and have now seen two different doctors relating to the pregnancy - just standard pregnancy appointments and there are no complications so far.

Both doctors asked as part of their questions whether it was planned. Seemed a bit irrelevant and felt like telling them it was none of their business.

Is this a standard question by doctors or just curiosity on their part?

 

[Ruth2307]

You're right, it is irrelevant so perhaps you should say to whoever's asking: 'why do you ask?'

 

[littletike]

I found that people (mainly at work) that I told (with DS not this one as I'm only 5 weeks) felt they could ask me this question and I was horrified!! Along with, "will you have any more?" errrm, let me get this one cooked first and people I didn't even know commented in the ladies that I was waddling nicely - I was only about 25 weeks!!!!! My experience was that people really think they have the right when you get pregnant to ask you very personal questions (which I guess your GP does!! ) and say what they like to you about your changing body! Grrrr!!!

2 fingers to em all, it only ever slightly got to me as I was soooooo thrilled to be uppus duffus and am again so sod em all, incluing the GP!

Come on the old ladies preggie club!!!

 

[BeachComber]

I also think that question is very nosy! I am wondering if my doc will ask me something like this? I honestly can't remember if I was asked this with my others kids lol.

I just turned 35 last month and no this baby was NOT planned lol. This was/is a complete surprise! But it's absolutely none of their business!

 

[jeniwi]

Its nice to know that others feel this is intrusive too. Just wasn't expecting it either time.

I quite like the "Why do want to know" response.

 

[Wind]

I wonder if doctors ask so they can find out about your history, such as if you were taking prenatal vitamins while ttc, do you need extra emotional support if it's unexpected, etc.. It's the only thing I can think of.

As far as anybody else asking, it drives me nuts. My husband just answers them like it's no big deal, but to me it is.

 

[jeniwi]

I really don't like answering. Anyone else asking is annoying but in a medical doctor - patient conversation you sort of feel like it's part of the procedure.

Both cases where I was asked there was no follow-up questions which would imply it was just a doctor with idle curiosity. One of the doctors asked me this after my last miscarriage so there would be no reason to inquire about pre-natals etc. He then followed this up by asking how long I had been trying. Just seemed irrelevant in the context.

But definitely would be interested in knowing if there was any rationale to it.

 

[Samantha675]

have you seen the site www.myobsaidwhat.com it is unreal the comments and questions OBs ask.

 

[jeniwi]

Oh dear.

 

[Storm1jet2]

I got asked too - I think its general practise in a lot of doctors to see where you are coming from, if you are happy/sad/concerned/unsure what to do etc.. I guess they see it from all sides so just testing the way the land lies

 

[kosh]

i got asked the same both by doctor and MW, and i think it's general practice.
i can understand why you feel it is intrusive, but say that someone got pregnant while having a coil/IUD, they DO need to know that.

 

[Moti]

With our first baby, we were asked that question. Then followed-up with "how long did it take you to get pregnant?"

With this baby, we weren't asked. Everyone in our Dr's group knows our history and what happened to our son....I think they were just happy to see us pregnant again.

 

[TiggerToo]

Oh dear holy Jesus....HOW do these people graduate from medical school with absolutely zero of what we Southern U.S. women sometimes refer to as "home training"!!

That website is a riot, BTW. And not in a good way!

A thread should be started - a sticky with witty, snappy replies for some of the stuff people spew out without thinking...everyone deserves a bye now and then for temporarily dropping their filter, but seriously...

I think the question just calls for a LOOK...

 

[knitbit]

Wow, I can't even imagine my OB asking me that. A co-worker did ask me that when he found out I was having twins and was immediately chastized by others who overheard.

 

[Mauser]

You know, the funny thing... this is my 5th pregnancy. With the first 4 (all were planned) occasionally I would get "was is planned?" and I wanted to kick them in the shins. Now I find myself suddenly, unexpectedly pregnant at age 40, and besides being in shock, I start laughing when people ask me that. For some reason, this time around, I don't mind. That's just me, though!!!

(And honestly, I don't think I ever would have taken offense if a doctor would have asked me that question. General population? Yes. Doctor? No)