weaning toddler as pregnant advice needed

[honey915]

Hi all toddler is nearly two years old. Dp has been anti bf over one really but kept his mouth shut and so says that at two it has to stop. If I wasn't pregnancynt i night havre fought him on it but I know il be exhausted feeding a new born so guess it as to happen. I'm nearlly 7 months pregnant. So my dillema how do I gently wean without too much upset in both sides because it breaks my heart and ds loves it but everyone around me is just too judgemental for me to even argue it out now and I know I've done brilliantly to feed for two years! I just don't want to lose that special bond with ds 😭 so this has to be gradual. Everyone told me toddlers wean when milk changes at 4 moths. Didn't happen! So I stoped offering nd now he just has a couple of feeds per day. did yours self wean? Any advice?

 

[Larkspur]

Mine didn't self-wean and to be honest, it's been a good thing to keep going. It's a really nice comfort for him during the difficult transition to having a new sibling. I always thought I would gently wean at two years but he really doesn't seem ready for it, so I think I will just let him wean naturally! Sorry, that's probably not the story you wanted! But personally I would rather fight a judgemental OH than a distressed toddler.

 

[Betheney]

What happens if you just stop offering it? when my daughter was feeding if i was to just stop offering it i know she would never ask, although i never got to that phase because she actually started refusing it at about 7 months pregnant so that was that done and dusted.

With this pregnancy my son also still feeds and loves it and asks for it, so i'm just going to go with the flow.

Maybe cut down feeds and offer distractions at usual feed times.

 

[honey915]

Mine didn't self-wean and to be honest, it's been a good thing to keep going. It's a really nice comfort for him during the difficult transition to having a new sibling. I always thought I would gently wean at two years but he really doesn't seem ready for it, so I think I will just let him wean naturally! Sorry, that's probably not the story you wanted! But personally I would rather fight a judgemental OH than a distressed toddler.

Thanks for your reply... You're right it's easier to fight oh and I don't want to distress my toddler and admittedly I wouldn't have a problem tandem feeding if it was just me and the kids! But oh has a mother who bottle fed all 5 of her s and I'm sure that's why he was always so anti breastfeeding post the 'baby' stage. He thinks it's wrong that 2 year old should be 'sucking on his mums t**s ' put so lovingly don't you think! I have quite clearly told him that the only perverted one is him for suggesting something so natural and normal is perverse. Unfortunately extended breastfeeders often get judged when there is so much ignorance surrounding the subject! Makes me very sad.

 

[honey915]

What happens if you just stop offering it? when my daughter was feeding if i was to just stop offering it i know she would never ask, although i never got to that phase because she actually started refusing it at about 7 months pregnant so that was that done and dusted.

With this pregnancy my son also still feeds and loves it and asks for it, so i'm just going to go with the flow.

Maybe cut down feeds and offer distractions at usual feed times.

Hi Betheney, if I don't offer he usually asks quite a bit but more so around sleepy times naps etc but when I work 12 hour shifts he only has a feed first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I think it's me that needs to be more firm but I never liked the idea of forcing him off it and I will miss our time together when it ends because it's been so special. I guess I just have to make a decision as to what to do. The last thing I want is to wean him abruptly when baby arrives because that would cause so much heartache and jealousy. I don't want him to feel like that

 

[honey915]

Quick question to both you ladies... Did you feel extra exhausted throughout your pregnancies whilst you were breastfeeding? I'm not making much milk t the moment due to pregnancy hormones but I'm wiped out. Ds does sleep through from 8-6 at the moment so I get a good rest at night. I need to nap some days and I physically can't bring myself to do much at all! Wondering if it's the breastfeeding.... I'm on iron as was anemic and being tested also for gestational diabetes so could be that

 

[Larkspur]

You're right, people do get funny about extending aka NORMAL breastfeeding. All I heard until 18 months was "Oh well done you, that's amazing!" All I've heard since is "So you're still feeding him? Are you ever going to wean?"

I didn't feel especially exhausted in my second pregnancy, at least nothing I wouldn't put down to having a toddler to run after! I'm 38 too, so not like I have youth on my side. But I don't think BFing made me more tired. I would be likely to blame low iron, I had that I'm my first pregnancy and felt exhausted and emotional until the supplements kicked in.

 

[honey915]

Thank you larkspur! I really hope that by the time my daughter hopefully breastfeeds her little onesit will be the normal thing to do and the support will be there. I really hope so!

 

[Betheney]

i didn't feel especially exhausted but i don't really get that exhausted in any of my pregnancies.

That's why i'm going to tandem feed because i've read it helps a lot with jealousy. Even my nearly 4 year old now will ask for booby even though she hasn't had it in 2 years and i give it to her and she's happy and won't ask for another 6 months. lol

Can you just cut down to morning and night feeds? i would focus on just cutting down to those to begin with. I don't really see what the big deal is with tandem feeding when the older child is just having 1-2 feeds a day. It's not like you're juggling boobing them all day or anything.

Some people are funny about extended feeding and tandem feeding but if they ask i don't see the problem with saying that the older child might feed once a day in the morning if they want it. You don't have to justify or even explain yourself to people.

 

[marchsammy]

My ds1 Loved bf so much I didn't think he would ever stop! I eventually got him to stop by introducing a bottle of milk (he was nearly 3 and I was 7 months pregnant and really wanted him to stop) and eventually he took the bottle instead and ended up stopping breastfeeding 3 weeks before ds2 arrived! He did ask for it a couple of times when baby arrived and I let him but he wasn't really interested, just wanted to try. Was easy to get him off the bottle once the newborn was settled in we just got rid of it and that was that.