Weird question about weight

[tinymumma]

Firstly, I'm sorry if this post upsets anyone as I know weight can be a sensitive subject. I know this isn't the normal question you hear when it comes to weight but I know I'm underweight. I don't have a very good lifestyle or diet. I don't exercise and I only ever eat dinner and toast mainly. I do eat a lot of sweet things like cheesecake and chocolate. They're my weakness and hubby often picks me up such things as he feels bad for having such long work hours.
Despite my horrid diet and lack of exercise, I'm still underweight. How can I gain weight? I have a feeling that it's a big contributor to my lack of bfp as well as being always tired among other things. I always feel like crap and I just want to be healthy. I'm quite bony and have a saggy bum and my boobs have always been far saggier then they should be at my age. I know that is in part from breastfeeding but they were like that before I fell pregnant. I'm at a loss and don't know what to do

 

[LDC]

Hey, I think to start you need to up the amount of meals you're eating a day to make sure you're getting enough nutrients as this will help you to put on weight and make sure your body is healthy. With eating so little, your muscle starts to waste which means that you'll look and be up underweight as your body isn't getting what it needs.

Could you speak with your dr to try and see a diet and nutritionist to help you to make some meal plans? You're likely to need to start small and then built up as your stomach will be quite small so won't need much food, but they're definitely worth speaking to to make sure you have a plan that suits you.

Xx

 

[MindUtopia]

I agree with the advice to see a nutritionist and see if they can give you some advice. Is there a reason you don't eat? Are you just not hungry? Do you not have time? Does nothing seem appealing? Do you feel anxious or nervous eating or eating certain things?

I would also start just by planning out your meals for the week. I often do this just because I'm trying to eat healthier rather than just grabbing whatever is easy when I don't have time (also, our closest store is 30 minutes away so there's no running out to get anything quickly). For breakfasts, I often have what my daughter is having (what does your LO eat for breakfast, can you just make double and sit down together?) or I have a smoothie. I got myself a nutribullet (which is awesome, I use it for so many things) and I pre-make smoothies in zip bags on the weekend and freeze them for the week, so all I have to do is pull it out and blend it up when I don't have time for anything else. Same with lunch. Do you eat with your LO? What do they eat? Can you eat the same? I plan my lunches as well and usually make them in batches. Like today I made soup and I have enough left over for tomorrow's lunch, so it's just in the fridge, and I just have to heat it up in the microwave, easy. Or sandwiches, I'll get ingredients to make a sandwich and then I just have the same sandwich for 2-3 lunches, so I always know I have everything on hand and it's easy. And same for dinners, I plan everything out for the week, buy everything, have it ready to go. When you plan stuff, I find you're forced to make it or else things will go to waste and I don't lose time trying to decide what to make when I'm too tired to think about it. Keeping a food diary of what you actually eat might help too (also if you see a nutritionist, they'll want you to do this anyway).

Also, what about talking to your husband about how you want to eat better and ask him to help you? Instead of bringing home cake, could he bring home something more nutritious and filling that you really like? If you gave him a list of favourite treats that are more nutrient rich, then he won't feel like he has to bring home cake. Also, what about asking him to help cook on the weekends? If you aren't eating because you don't have time or you're too tired, ask him to take over making meals for all of you on weekends when he's home. It gives you a break and you will probably start eating new things you don't as much now.

 

[tinymumma]

Thank you so much ladies xx I will definitely speak to my doctor about it.
I mostly just don't feel like eating. I either feel like making food is too much effort or nothing really appeals to me.
MindUtopia, I will certainly start doing meal plans and this bullet things sound very good.
Thank you both again for your kindness and advice. I know it's odd seeing a question like this and I know weight is a sensitive subject, so thank you for being sensitive to my search for help.
I'm really sick of people approaching me asking if I'm eating enough, or being just plain rude about it. Or people pointing out that my collar bones are prominent or that I'm just plain ugly because of how skinny I am. It really irks me that society is still concerned about a woman's size, rather than if she's healthy

 

[LaraineSmith]

What's the status now tinnymumma?

 

[tinymumma]

What's the status now tinnymumma?

Still not going well unfortunately I'm trying my best but diet hasn't changed very much. I've been finding that I'm not as hungry any more, so although my sweets intake has gone down quite a lot, I still only really have toast and dinner... I was attempting exercise but that just failed. I took a break because I was so sore and then just stopped. Willpower is nil :/
I've been too scared to step back on the scales, so I have no idea what I would be now, I just have a feeling it wouldn't be good.
I spoke to my GP about it about a week after making this post and (like her response to pretty much everything), there's nothing she can supposedly do until I give up bfing? Her solutions are always to pump me full of artificial medications but not do any tests or anything like that. Annoying because she's the only doctor that's close by and knows mine and Bubs history...
Kind of in limbo right now. I know I'll pick it all back up again, just need to get my head in the game, I guess xx
Thank you for checking up on me love

 

[jd83]

I think you are going to have to work on slowly adding in breakfast and lunch. Your stomach is likely very small right now, since you are used to eating such a minimal diet, so its going to take time to work up to eating a "normal" amount of food per day. What you are intaking right now isn't sufficient. I know you know that though, which is why you're on here asking about solutions. I agree with previous posters about meal planning. It really does help if you have a plan in mind of what you are going to make each day, rather than just looking through cupboards and nothing looking good so you just don't eat anything.

I think while you are working on adding in the additional meals, a big help would be making smoothies each day. A smoothie can get you your fruits, veggies, and some protein all in one drink, and may be easier for you to stomach while you are getting used to adding in more food each day. They are so easy, too. You can pre-make your mixes by putting the fruits you plan to use in a ziploc bag and freezing. Then just put the frozen fruit in the blender, add in some fresh greens like kale or spinach, some yogurt, a little fruit juice, and blend. Super easy. You can even add in some protein powder or some peanut butter for a bit more protein.

Another option would be Ensure type drinks that have nutrients packed into them. Drink at least one a day while working on adding in those other meals, so your body will be getting what it needs. The added nutrients will make a difference to your energy level.