What age should a child be allowed to play out without you?

[Berniep]

Hi my eldest son was 8 in March and went into keystage 2 (juniors) in September. Some of his friends already play out on the street around the corner from where we live and James would love to play out with them but i'm not sure he's old enough, we've invited his friends to come and play here in our garden but they never stay long and i once heard one telling him its too boring and babyish playing at home. I don't want James to be picked on for not been allowed to play out but i don't want to put him in danger either you hear so many horror stories nowadays, Any advice would be very welcome x

 

[jackiea85]

My sister is 9 and lives in a small village. My mum has started letting her out to the park with her friends recently but she has to take a walkie talkie with her, might be an idea? I don't have any real experience myself but definitely don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, it totally depends on how safe u feel the area is xx

 

[Berniep]

Thank you for your quick reply, the street where his friends play my sister lives on so i was thinking to start with i could go to hers for a cuppa and could watch him but obviously i can't be at hers all the time so then the next step could be me nipping round the corner at 20 min intervals to check he's ok and gradually extending the intervals, but to be honest the thought of him been out without me scares me to death am i just been over protective?

 

[jackiea85]

I don't think you are over-protective at all. It sounds like a good idea to me, see how it goes xx

 

[tasha41]

I think it really depends on the child and the area you live in and how many friends he'll be out with. I worked at a drop-in program at a park for kids during the summer and 8 year olds would come by with their friends but usually not on their own unless it the park was within sight of their house.

Maybe set some ground rules.. stick with a friend at all times (you know "safety in numbers"). Make sure he knows his phone number, that his friends know where you guys live, etc. in case of emergencies. Spend some time walking around your neighbourhood and identify the safe and unsafe places, set up boundaries, ie: you can't go past this street to the north, this to the south, west, east, etc.

 

[Berniep]

Thanks for that Tasha, who'd have thought back when you were ttc your 1st little one that you would soon be making such difficult decisions, they grow up way too fast x

 

[MummyMummy]

never. just lock 'em up forever i say. kids don't have to grow up, if we don't want them to. wont miss what they never had

it's scary thinking now that 1 day my 3year old will ask to do this and ask to walk home from school and tell me hes too big for kisses and loves
xXx

 

[mommy2]

It is a hard decission and i don't believe you are being over protective at all, I feel that way about my son not being around me. I remember when he first started school i was so paranoid that i would park my car at the school and sit and wait until he entered school when the bell rang, I think its just how we are as parents we need to protect our little ones. I think its your choice though - it depends on so many things like the area, the friend, your child. I am sure you will come to the right choice and yes they certainly grow up fast - faster than we would like....

 

[babystar]

Joani is 7 nxt month and I dont let her out to play. Its not specifically the area I dont like her playing in its the kids. Where we live there are unfirtunately ALOT of drug addicts with children my daughters age. The kids run riot in the street vandalising etc and the language that comes from their mouths is unreal. I wouldnt even use some of the words they are coming away with. And this is kids that are in Joanis class at school. It is a shame because they shout on her to come out and she shouts back not tonight.....but i am afraid it will not b any night.... her father and I will not allow her out to play with them.

 

[Genna]

I was 9 when my mom let me out to go ride my bike (half of the time she would be sitting on the porch reading, gardening, or doing something outside), but I could only stay in view of the house, "if I look out the window and I can't see you, and if you can't see the front of the house, you are too far!" she would tell me. It didn't bug me much, I was too scared to go any further at that time anyway, lol!! And I really couldn't be bothered to go out before then, unless it was to a friends house, which my friends parents always made us stay in the yard. I remember when I was allowed to go "around the block" on my bike, it was such an adrenaline kick! I was 10.

I say, It's the neighborhood you live in and how safe you feel and how much you feel you can trust your son will obey set rules. When you are comfortable, there's no right or wrong time.

 

[oOKayOo]

As others have said , it depends how you feel!
If the neighbourhood is safe etc , its a good idea to check up on him every so often for piece of mind.
Brave though , i dont want to think of when my girls go out on there own! I wasnt even allowed on a train to go to the next town until i was 16
I think ill let my girls out when there 13! Maybe older

 

[Berniep]

Wow thanks for all your replies tbh i never ventured further than the ttc before apart from when i went in the just for a laugh section when i first joined, its nice to actually chat to people with kids similar ages as my 2 when i'm on B and B all i seem to be thinking about is ttc not the 2 gorgeous kids i've already but sometimes it is nice to have a break from them, i hope that doesn't sound bad?

 

[oOKayOo]

Wow thanks for all your replies tbh i never ventured further than the ttc before apart from when i went in the just for a laugh section when i first joined, its nice to actually chat to people with kids similar ages as my 2 when i'm on B and B all i seem to be thinking about is ttc not the 2 gorgeous kids i've already but sometimes it is nice to have a break from them, i hope that doesn't sound bad?

Course it doesnt! Its nice to have that much needed 'me' time
otherwise i think we may very well go insane!

 

[Berniep]

Wow thanks for all your replies tbh i never ventured further than the ttc before apart from when i went in the just for a laugh section when i first joined, its nice to actually chat to people with kids similar ages as my 2 when i'm on B and B all i seem to be thinking about is ttc not the 2 gorgeous kids i've already but sometimes it is nice to have a break from them, i hope that doesn't sound bad?

Course it doesnt! Its nice to have that much needed 'me' time
otherwise i think we may very well go insane!

Yes your right there i would go insane especially when its the school hols, they are driving me round the bend lol x

 

[babe2ooo]

callum is 8 and he plays outside with his friend but we live in a very safe neighbour hood there not many cars round are area to, i think it just depend on where abouts u live and if u feel its save round your area, we are lucky cause we live in a new build area so we all know each other, just make sure he knows the rules and he tell u where he is at all time and that hes not to play in the road, and if anyone in a car talks to him not to go off with them, hope that helps

 

[yenerich]

In my point of view, it dose not matter much what the friends thinks. Im concentrated on taking care of my son and daughter and i do each step slowly. I never take decitions based on the opinions of other children, but just in my own opinion.
If the street where the children plays are very secure, you may start giving him some permissions, carefully. But just if its a very secure area. Otherwise don't do it. As i said before, the opinion of the friends of your son does not matter.

 

[wannabmamma]

my neice is 4 and she plays out on the street infront of her house but shes not allowed go past a certain limit. its a small community and all the kids are around the same age. I know when i was 5 i was allowed play out with my friends...

 

[Berniep]

Its hard to say how safe my area is, it is on the edge of a council estate which does have its rough parts but he wouldn't be going near the rough parts, my street is very quiet mainly elderly neighbours and my sisters street round the corner isn't too bad again mainly elderly but does have a few kids my sons age so that is where he wants to play, he is sensible enough that he knows not to play on road etc but when they are distracted by friends etc who knows what he'll do, the other worrying thing is i don't think it matters how nice your neighbourhood is you could live in a very well to do village where nothing every happens but if a stranger out there wants to take a child where they live isn't going to come into it they are going to take the avaliable child i know this sounds very depressing and i know not alot of children are taken but i don't want my son to be the one that is, am i been too over protective? i'm not saying people who let there kids out don't care its just that its scary letting them go out without you, maybe i am just wrapping him up in cotton wool too much? Thanks for all your replies x

 

[amylw1]

me and my neighbour both have 6yr olds and the furthest they are allowed on own is to the other 1s front door! which does cause some problems with the kids at school.

even though we both own our homes, the road/estate is still predominantly council. and most of parents let the kids out and they do what they like. 1 of the lads in sons class is 1 of 6 and his 2 younger brothers are out in the street as well - age 4 and 2! they fight, shout abuse at anyone that passes and swear like you wouldnt believe. i dont want my son doing this and he wont be out playing until i know he wont copy the rest.

i know he's not an angel and does know swear words (thanks to the woman that was living in neighbours house when she rented it). she would have doors/windows open and hurl abuse at her 2 girls and would shout and swear at her OH.

you can only do what you feels best.

 

[Berniep]

Yeah its a bit like that on my estate kids out on the street still in nappies swearing etc but luckily thats the other side of the estate it sometimes makes you wonder why some people have kids x