...what am I supposed to be doing, again??

[Bambii]

Hey all!

Here's the deal:
I've been a member for a while but not actively...I've always been too embarrassed to post my questions and became the queen of google to try to keep up. We went through that cycle of trying to conceive for months and months and decided to take a break. I'm almost 27 and in good health but have been unsuccessful in the sport of baby making. We have both been tested very thoroughly for fertility issues with none found, and have recently decided to try again. So now I'm back and determined to get 'er done!

Here's the problem:
BDing alone is clearly not working. When I was younger I was always told (very simply) "if you have unprotected sex...you'll get pregnant"- I suppose that's a good scare tactic for teens, but I'm here to call BS! I've been doing it for years (don't worry...same partner!) and still...nothing but that mean old BFN.

So I ask this:
What am I supposed to be doing, again? I would certainly hope that at this point in my life I'm not BDing incorrectly lol. I think it's more an issue of timing, although we usually have a very healthy and active sex life. How do you ladies coordinate ovulation and your BD? Maybe more importantly, how do you do that without feeling like it becomes a chore? What other tricks should we be trying? I've seen a couple posts about ladies swearing by "Preseed"- what the F is that??

This is embarrassing to admit, but I clearly have no idea what I'm doing as I'm kind of a newbie with these things. Any input is appreciated and I wish you all the best!

 

[DosPinkies]

If everything in your reproductive departments are healthy, then timing has to be the issue. Once you get down to it, there really is only a very narrow window of getting a swimmer to the right spot at the right time. I would suggest watching the documentary on YouTube "The Great Sperm Race"...it really clears up just how important timing is...BUT I would forewarn you that I came out of it thinking this:"Oh my GOD, they ALL DIE!!"...lol, once you watch it, you'll know what I mean. But still, I'm glad I watched it because I think I understand so much more about how babies are made...haha.

So - advice time!

1 - Start charting. Get a Fertility Friend account and chart away. At the very least, chart your AF so that you can get to know your cycles. If you want to time it right, you've got to know when you ovulate and you've got to know what signals your body is giving you that you're in your fertile window (like when you have fertile CM).
2 - I would recommend using OPK's (ovulation prediction kits)...pretty simple...pee on them and when you get a positive, it means it detected the hormone surge that immediately precedes your ovulation. I personally use the ClearBlue Dual Hormone Digital ones and lovvveee them.
3 - I aaaalways recommend temping, but some women don't like it. Basically, you have to wake up every single morning at the same time and take your waking temperature. Admittedly - total pain in the ass...BUT it's the only way to confirm you ovulated. If I didn't have that piece of evidence, I'd always worry I didn't ovulate...it's nice knowing.

Soooo, to recap...chart, chart, chart! Chart your AF days. Chart your CM. Chart your temperatures. Use OPK's! It's a lot of record-keeping, but if you've got no health issues in your way, once you time it right, it shouldn't take long!

Btw, advice on how to keep it from being a chore....don't tell him when you're in your fertile window. I learned that the hard way. Sometimes they get stage fright or feel the pressure and freak out. Just jump his bones and pretend it's just because you can't keep your hands off him. He wont know the difference so he'll be way into it which will keep you way into it. Since he has a healthy count, once AF is over, I'd BD every 2 or 3 days and then once you enter your fertile window, BD either every day or every other day...whatever you guys can handle.

Oh, oh, oh, almost forgot to answer the PreSeed question. It is a sperm-friendly lube. You can't use normal lubes nor saliva as they kill the swimmers. PreSeed mimics your natural CM and people rave about it. I use it when I feel like I don't have enough of my own. It just helps create a safer ride for the swimmers...good stuff...expensive, but it lasts a while.

I hope all of that helped! Good luck!