What do I say?

[AEM1803]

Lately my OH has no interest in ... Im starting to get scared that he no longer wants to TTC..
It's very important to me.. I feel so empty and heartbroken since my ectopic in feb.. all i want is to hold my in my arms and start my family..

How do I go about talking to my OH about this? and what do I do if he tells me he no longer wants to TTC? im scared im going to have to put my feelings and needs/wants aside to please him

Any suggestions on what I should do?

 

[addisonsmom]

Oh, wow. I'm so sorry...can you talk to him? I mean, I think that's a really important first step. We just had a loss and are planning to try again, but if my BF came to me and said he didn't want to, that would be a big, BIG conversation - and decision - for me. He is the love of my life...but honestly I would very much consider doing it on my own at this point.

I never felt that way before getting pregnant.

Talk to him, sweetie...just be open with him about how you are feeling...and try to find out what's going on with him. He may very well be scared of another loss.

 

[puppycat]

I feel the same atm. I know how frustrating it is hun

 

[AEM1803]

its very frustrating..
Before I got pregnant I wasn't even thinking about having a baby yet.. but when it happened.. my whole thinking changed and I was so excited..
After we lost the baby my OH and I discussed it and both decided that we wanted a baby and were going to TTC..
but lately.. he wont touch me and has no desire to have and he always wants to.. so I know something is bothering him..
I honestly don't know what I am going to do if he says he no longer wants to try Im so scared for what he is going to say

 

[jojo23]

im so sorry hun i think they best thing to do is make some time for each other and have a good honest chat..tell him exactly how you feel. i know you may be scared of what he says but to be honest i had something similar with my OH, and when i confronted him about it he said it was because i had made sex into a chore for us.

I was so focused on TTC again after a mmc in feb that it became like a military operation. thinking about it now i wasnt even concerned with actually making love i just wanted his sperm and that was it, wham bam thank you mam!

loss affects men in a totally different way also, it could be that he's scared it will happen again.

dont stress out too much, relax and have a chat, make sex fun and get all dressed up to show him what he's missing out on!!! xxxxxxxx GL

 

[LittleBird]

I agree with the other ladies. It sounds like you're nervous about a confrontation and hearing what he has to say, but I think that a good, open conversation would help both of you so much. It may be the pressure of performing and the idea of creating a life. For me and DH, our other kids were conceived without planning/trying, so it was a new thing to schedule sex and talk about seeing a FS and even going to the point of deciding whether or not to have IUI. I think once you experience a loss, the entire topic becomes much more sensitive. For both of you. So I would say, sit down and talk with him, let him know how much you long for a baby. If he's not on the same page, talk about when he might be. After MC1, DH and I were not on the same page about TTC again, and it was hard for a few months until we ironed out the details. It will get better!